To be petrified?!

[HakunaMatataa]

I've got an irrational spider phobia. I know it's silly and I know they can't hurt me, but it doesn't make me any less scared.

We've never had many spiders in this house but today I've come face to face with two utter BEASTS . Thankfully DP is home and has put them down the road.

Does anyone have any tips? Either to help deter spiders from my home or to get over this ridiculous fear. Need to stop showing my 2 DCs my fear.

I have the same irrational fear... luckily DP also takes them down the road for me! Hes not allowed to kill them!
My DS 22mo has no fear of bugs/spiders etc...but does like squashing them (which I actively deter him from doing!!) Once he is old enough to understand i shall be teaching him how to take them outside for me lol!
Do your dcs pick up on your fear? I seem to have got a little braver since becoming the mummy/protector!

The friendly spider program at London Zoo has helped me so much. They combine hypnosis with (gradual) exposure and a session with a zoologist who gives you a bit of insight into spider behaviour and biology.

I was pretty bad before (shaking and crying when I had a house spider in my bedroom and no-one to get rid of it). I still prefer not to have any in my house but the blind panic and adrenaline / fear response has gone.

Btw I'm not a woo person at all and the 'hypnosis' they do is really more of a relaxation technique.

I know it’s not feasible for everyone but my father’s partner was the same way, she would have full meltdowns over spiders in her kitchen and her life was very affected by them.
She did one of those spider phobia days at London zoo, it’s an all day workshop where you learn techniques to help deal with your phobia and go in the arachnid house etc. She ended up completing it, and held a tarantula at the end!! Unthinkable before.
She’s still squeamish about them and will never be fully comfortable, but can now remove them from the house with paper and a glass.

I'm not sure whether it is just an old wives tale but I put conkers in each corner of my rooms last autumn and haven't seen a single spider since 🤞🏼

I was going to say conkers too.
Just leave them around your rooms and you don't get spiders.
No idea why.

Wipe some lemon essential oil around all door & window frames, and every cupboard and drawer. You just drip it onto an old t-shirt or a cloth and apply every week or so. Spiders hate it.

Aldi have a spider catcher as one of their Sunday specials today. Much cheaper than those you can buy from other places.

Apparently conkers help deter them. Not sure if this is a load of bull but my mum had a donkey in each room in the house when I was a kid and we saw little to no spiders 🕷

Not a donkey a conker 😂😂😂

So many women have spider phobias on Mumsnet and yet very few have ever sought any kind of professional help.

Have you done that?

Heartburn888

That predictive text mix up was hilarious, thanks for cheering me up by thinking your mum's house was a donkey sanctuary to keep the spiders away!

Not sure if this is a load of bull but my mum had a donkey in each room in the house when I was a kid and we saw little to no spiders

I honestly have tears in my eyes here!

Hahahaha a donkey in each room
Might try it.

I’m the same! In our current house we seem to get mostly ‘spindlies’ as we call them, skinny legs and small body so not too offensive looking (I still get my DH to deal with them!).

In a previous apartment we rented it was right beside a park and in front of/beside a massive old row of old huge trees. Omg the spiders that I saw there....massive black ones that I can only imagine came from the park. One night I had to go to bed at 8pm as one appeared beside me on the couch then disappeared and I was too afraid to sit in the room on my own after 😱😱😱

Anyway - I use a ‘spider repellent’ spray (google it!) it’s a mix of peppermint drops, water, and a few other things like a teeny bit of detergent and possibly vinegar. I spray it around the outside doorframe and windows and near all vents/areas they could appear. No idea if it really has much effect but makes me feel better and smells nice and minty. I’m going to collect some conkers next time I’m in the park and try that too!

😂😂😂😂 so funny!

I want a donkey on each room now 😁.

Get yourself a cellar spider (aka daddy long legs spider) which are the spindley ones a PP mentioned. They are not hairy and horrible and allegedly keep others away - I keep my cellar spiders and let the m live with me. They make bastarding big cobwebs though.

Me too! But we have one of those electronic things that repel them - many say they don't work but they seem to for us

I used to be like this, and my dh would kill the spiders (we get lots of giant house spiders in our house). For some reason one day he picked one up with the old glass and paper trick. Really weirdly, just seeing him do this cured my phobia??!! Now I am the one in charge of spiders, and trust me we get monsters!! I just pick them up and put them outside.

Have you considered hypnotherapy? My SIL had it for arachnophobia and it really helped her

I can only offer practical advice - get some insect nets off amazon and attach them to the windows. Stops the bigger bastards getting in. Seal the holes in your house and check your vents aren’t damaged. Remove old cobwebs and such immediately to prevent spiders thinking there’s free housing estate.

Oh and encourage the kids to interact with spiders under dp watchful eye, such as at the park, so they have good positive memories about spiders. This should counter the negative associations from watching you be afraid

Or I could give you my dd's number. She is a student and has earned herself many a gift of a pint or a McDs etc, for going into fellow students' rooms and removing spiders for them

@ninebiscuits ahh bless your DS I'm sure he will enjoy being mummy's saviour once he understands not to squash them
Unfortunately my eldest DS (8) has picked up on my fear and also calls for DP. I'm working on it and I have to pretend I like them and we name the spiders we come across. Hes getting better with them but wouldn't touch one.

@DoubleHelix79 @Sparklesocks I've heard of the Friendly Spider. Seems interesting and I've heard alot of good things. May be something for me to look into!

@Heartburn888 this made my evening I'm just going to have to get a donkey! Haha.

Well, we are going to go conker hunting tomorrow and I've just ordered some lemon and peppermint essential oils. I will try all the suggestions above. Thank you.

I can cope with the odd spindly. I'll leave them be, they scare me but not to the point of feeling sick and panicky. Its these big ones I can't cope with, our house backs on to lots of trees and woody type area. If DP is at work I worry what I would do, probably leave the house with the kids until his return lol.

The idea behind conkers /donkeys is to mask the the scent of the female. Something in conker was supposed to do that, and I suppose the smell of donkey and its urine and feaces would do same job.

Otherwise peppermint oil, spider sprays to try and mask the the smell of the female.

@BackforGood - Sounds fair. We can negotiate a price per spider

@Dizzywizz That's brave of you! Amazing how you are now so confident with dealing with them too! I can't even get near them with a glass!

Luckily DP is very positive about spiders (and everything else creepy crawly) with DS, youngest is only 6 months, so hopefully I'll be over myself by the time he realises