To ask if you celebrate other people's anniversarys?

[passthebluebottle]

DPs anniversary soon, they have gone away and will be away on the date

DM said on the phone tonight "I know you've been busy so it's probably slipped your mind but I will get the card when we come to visit when we are back"

A DF recently stayed and brought a gift and card for our anniversary in a month because she won't see us before

As nice as it is I would never expect anyone to get us cards, I feel it's between DH and I to celebrate

DMs family only sent cards for the big ones, DFs family do every year. DH family don't do anything

AIBU to ask what the general view is?

DH has said not to get a card for their visit, but I know this will upset DM and I don't want to open a whole can of worms

It’s our wedding anniversary today. We don’t get cards from parents. We don’t give cards to our parents either for their anniversaries. Although I think a significant number would be okay to send a card on.

I would contact my parents and in-laws on their anniversaries and anticipate that they would do the same for us. Not so much for siblings, unless it was a significant one.
I also think it's good manners, if you're invited to a wedding, to at least try and remember to acknowledge the first anniversary of the couple one year on from the wedding you attended.

It was our anniversary last week and we got cards from my in-laws, my husband's auntie and a family friend from his side. We both forgot and only remembered because of the cards arriving!

My in-laws text a week before theirs to remind us to send a card. It does (irrationally) annoy me because we weren't there to see them get married!

It was our first anniversary last week and we got cards from some friends and family and a random friends mum.

While it was lovely and we were really touched Me and my family have always been of the opinion that it’s between the couple, but we would celebrate big anniversaries with friends and family if they were doing something.

Only my parents, but not by card, just acknowledge in a phone call.

DH and I keep it between us and use it as an excuse to do something nice. Usually family will text us with a happy anniversary message. That's it though.

I wouldn't expect or do cards and gifts for anyone else's anniversary.

Had this conversation recently with my dsis as it was our parents anniversary a few weeks ago now.

My dm must have dropped it into conversation a million times the week previously and when I said we were thinking of doing an annual bbq at ours her response was that it could be to mark their anniversary

On the day and evening before I got lots of WhatsApp's from dm about plans for their weekend and anniversary meal and anniversary drinks with friends etc etc which I just find odd to be honest. It wasn't a big one so I sent a lovely message on the day wishing them a happy anniversary etc etc

I do t expect people to remember or send cards or gifts for ours either.
We don't always even celebrate ourselves other than a card each

My in-laws send us a card each year, and my parents did this year because it was our 10th. I sometimes send my parents one, but more because they never mark it themselves, so it’s always quite funny to wish them a happy anniversary and watch them look briefly startled and then relax when they realise the other hadn’t remembered either. I might text good friends/my sister if I remember.

Your mum said she’d pick up the card when she’s back though?! The card you hadn’t previously intended to send? That is a bit weird...as is the PP whose in-laws remind her to send them a card!

I got an anniversary card from OH last year, first ever but it was a 50th! Can't recall if I gave him one, a card that is, probably did. I have a SIL who is obsessed with sending cards, even Easter ones, drives me mad.

I’d only send cards to others on significant anniversaries.

PILS always send a card and gift for us which I absolutely hate. I know it sounds ungrateful but it’s always just more stuff we don’t want or need and I do find it so odd that they are celebrating when they aren’t part of the marriage.
Having said that it does make me wonder why we so readily give and accept wedding presents when arguably the wedding is only between the couple but find anniversary gifts strange when given by anyone elee

Always celebrated my parents anniversary - they didn't celebrate their wedding when they got married for various reasons it was just a quick register office wedding but they celebrated their ruby wedding last year which I think is amazing and shows you don't need a big party or white dress to make a marriage last

My mum buys us a gift for our anniversary which I think is a bit weird as we don't buy each other anything! I get my parents a card because my mum expects one and I'll buy a present this year as it's their 50th anniversary

No - only if it is a really significant (Ruby / Golden / Diamond / whatever 70th is )
I'd get something for a SIlver if I'd been invited to celebrate with someone - a party or a meal, as you would for the hosts of any party.

I might send a whatsApp or something the first anniversary if it were a wedding I'd been very involved in the year before and it came up in my FB memories or something to remind me

DH has said not to get a card for their visit, but I know this will upset DM and I don't want to open a whole can of worms

I think that’s mean of him, assuming you can afford a card.

If it would make your mum happy and she’d be upset otherwise why not?

MIL sends a card. She's the only parent still here. SIL also does because it's a significant date to her and that significance is the only reason we married on that date.

I say happy anniversary to my siblings/inlaws as we have a group chat, but nothing more than that.

If I went tot he wedding, I might send a card for the 1st anniversary. Thereafter I might send a message if FB reminded me, or if I was asked to their anniversary party.
I'd add only our parents have ever sent us an anniversary card, and then not every year.

@HeckyPeck she's just asked for a card this year because they've been away, flower or a gift would be delivered usually, they live 3 hours away

I do find it stressful every year because I get almost daily reminders in the two weeks leading up to it to make sure I post it to get there on time

I had been away with work leading up to their trip so we hadn't spoken for a little on the phone, so I didn't get the constant reminders this year. Money is very tight atm and I've been telling her so she's aware it's been a very tough month for us.

Even scraping the parking coins at the end of the month can be hard, so a card would make it harder
My DB forgot the other year and DM phoned up just to complain, so it all takes the feeling of "it's the thought that counts" out of the whole thing

DH said about leaving it because it will be nearly two weeks after the day we see them, so feels slightly pointless, although I agree it's slightly harsh if it will make her happy

We don't even celebrate our own. My DH's family do though and it makes me feel so weird and cringy. My wedding anniversary is no ones business by mine and my spouses. Honestly I have received more happy anniversary cards from my PIL than from my husband.

I'm sure they think we should send them anniversary cards too. Never going to happen.

I just assumed it was an Irish thing with DH family

It's not an Irish thing. I assumed it was an English thing as my DH's family do it

I think it is just a 'card person' thing.
My MiL sends us one each year, but then she sends the dc cards for all sorts of things I didn't even know they had cards for.