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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I’m not doing enough with my 10 and a half month old?

10 replies

NameChange2306 · 25/08/2019 18:00

My DS is 10 and a half months. I often feel guilty (like now) that I’m not doing enough with him.

My OH is currently off work too as he works in a school so on school hols.

In general we go out once a day, either to a national trust property or landmark (we have membership), cafe, park and/or play area where he loves to go on the swings. We visit his grandparents. Go to the local garden centre which has an indoor sandpit.

It’s days like today that I struggle with as we’ve been in most of the day due to the heat. We don’t really have a garden for him to play in, although we have a field/park with a playground and stream etc across the road which his Dad took him over to this morning.
We’ve read him a few stories, he’s watched CBeebies, we’ve done some singing, gone into the yard briefly, played stacking cups and knocking them back down, played with some of his other toys. He pushes his walker up and down the room too.
He’s crawling well and also cruising the furniture/walking pushing his walker.
He’s done some independent play but he’s been very whingey since he woke from his nap.

Why do I feel guilty when I’m either on my phone having down time (like now) or watching something on TV or doing something else like the housework, cooking etc?

OP posts:
NameChange2306 · 25/08/2019 18:01

Edit to add I’ve also made him a treasure basket of various household/textured items.

OP posts:
NameChange2306 · 25/08/2019 18:04

We also go to soft play and baby groups but they’re not on in the school hols.

OP posts:
SirJamesTalbotAndHisSpeculum · 25/08/2019 18:04

Your DS doesn't need to be permanently entertained and taken out.

Don't feel guilty about doing things which are necessary.

It isn't realistic to occupy a child all the time.

Does he sleep well?

NameChange2306 · 25/08/2019 18:06

@SirJamesTalbotAndHisSpeculum Better now than he did, but not a fabulous sleeper. His naps are hit and miss but he had an hour and a half after lunch today.
He generally only wakes up once or twice in the night, lately he hasn’t woken at all which is very unusual!

OP posts:
SirJamesTalbotAndHisSpeculum · 25/08/2019 18:10

It's good that he sleeps through the night. You should be pleased.

When your DS is a little older it's more than possible that you'll have another baby. Then you won't be able to entertain him all the time. He will have to get used to occupying himself. That is completely normal.

Babies and toddlers need to mess about with things and throw them about.

Google "heuristic play" and take heart. You're not depriving your DS of anything by leaving him to play by himself.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 25/08/2019 18:11

Sounds like u do plenty OP- sometimes the highlight of my day with my LO is a trip to Sainsbury’s. As long as you engage with them an at home day is fine! Also independent play is a good skill- leave them on a mat with toys and books whilst you do something.

Readytogogogo · 25/08/2019 18:21

That's more than enough! As pp have said, when you have another one, the baby gets a lot less attention. Your DS would certainly let you know if he was bored.

SirJamesTalbotAndHisSpeculum · 25/08/2019 18:54

Seriously OP, where PFBs are concerned we all worry that we're not doing enough.

It all sounds fine to me.

Jenu294 · 25/08/2019 21:08

You're doing great.

I feel the same and my daughter is soon to turn 14 months and is also trying to walk - let me tell you she gets bored so much more easily than she did when she was 10 months. She also has one nap now so even more time awake trying to entertain her.

I think sometimes we read too much into these things - there is so much pressure on mum's to keep baby mentally/physically active all the time.

Sounds like you have a lot of variety so stop feeling guilty and just enjoy. They grow up so fast.

TheSandgroper · 26/08/2019 02:32

DD would love a day at home when she was small. You could see her visibly relax when I told her we weren't going anywhere and she would throw herself into her own thing.

I did note that you haven't been anywhere and your hit and miss napper did well. That may be a point to further explore.

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