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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell a child off for punching my 2 yr old in the face - twice!!??

12 replies

Baysmum · 06/08/2007 17:54

Am really upset after a visit to the park yesterday and wanted to know how I could have handled this situation better? So, it was our first trip to the park with our 2 week old and an understandably touchy 2 year old. A boy of approximately 4 years was pushing and shoving lots of other kids and his parent/carer was saying...absolutely nothing at all to him about it - not even a feeble 'stop it' - this was winding my husband up so when the child finally punched ds in the face, my dh shouted 'oi, stop it' - admittedly fairly loudly. The child was totally unbothered by this and punched ds once again so dh shouted again. He couldnt physically remove ds as he had the newborn in his arms. I actualy thought he was shouting at our ds and ran over. saw how upset ds was and gave him a cuddle. The child went off (quite happily) with parent/carer - who had still said nothing. Then another woman had a massive go at me (?) and said my dh should not have shouted at the other child because 'thats what children do' and that my ds was a 'total wuss' - grrr wd u say that if he was a girl? Our point was that yes children do that BUT that the parent/carer should acknowledge, even (gasp) tell their child off for doing so?? I'm really shaken by what happened and would welcome opinions. My dh could have perhaps spoken to the carer but I honestly dont think that she was prepared to do anything about it. I am quite protective of my ds, especially at the moment, but dont think 2 punches in the face should go without comment?!

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HuwEdwards · 06/08/2007 18:05

No, I don't think they should go without comment, however (and you did ask how to handle it differently) after the initial punch, where I most likely would've said something to the child, (if only to try and stop anything further happening) I would've directed my comments to the parent/carer.

I think expecting the 4yo to take any notice of you is probably unlikely, but you may just've embarassed the adult into action.

MyTwopenceworth · 06/08/2007 18:07

well, of course you're not being unreasonable, I'm surprised you would think you possibly could be!

It is normal for young children to express themselves physically but that does not make it acceptable. That is one of our jobs as parents - to teach them to express themselves in other ways and to interact more appropriatly.

So the parent was failing their child by not taking that chance to correct and teach their child.

And anyway, YANBU, because your job is to take care of your child, so if they aren't doing their job properly, all you can do is protect your own sprog! Which you did.

Next time, yell "put that feral critter on a lead" .... or think it, while you say the more reasonable "would you kindly stop your child from hitting." or directly to the child "Do NOT hit. Y feral brat"

Baysmum · 06/08/2007 18:10

yes, spose so but she really wasnt going to do anything about it imo, though she did make hasty exit afterwards! i was more upset by other woman shouting at me for cuddling ds!

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Baysmum · 06/08/2007 18:11

x post my 2p worth, think I am worried I am being unreasonable as have just has ds2 and am all over place emotionally - its me hormones!!

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MyTwopenceworth · 06/08/2007 18:12

There is a very good sentence that is perfect for these situations.

It goes like this.....

Mind

Your

Own

Business

Bitch

MyTwopenceworth · 06/08/2007 18:13

xpost right back at ya!

nope, doesn't seem unreasonable to me.

Unreasonable due to hormones would be chasing after her, ripping off her leg and beating her to death with the wet end.

Baysmum · 06/08/2007 18:14

I wish u could accompany me to the park in case of situations like this! I am usually pretty feisty but am too knackered and pathetic right now!!

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Baysmum · 06/08/2007 18:15

AND ANOTHER X POST!! Did consider the violene route - knw I wd get away with it post-natal madness!!!

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MyTwopenceworth · 06/08/2007 18:17

what did your dh say about it all?

(and I'll come beat up random women in the park for you. I haven't had a day out for ages!)

Baysmum · 06/08/2007 18:31

Dh felt bad that he had lost his temper a bit and that he had caused a scene that upset me. I think he had seen it coming and felt he should have done something sooner to prevent the situation. I dont know why the woman had at go at me about my dh shouting??? I dont actually blame dh for shouting tho, Im glad he didnt just go all british and apologise or shuffle away with bawling son or something!!

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nightowl · 06/08/2007 18:46

kid had a go at ds in the park at the weekend for no reason. ds (normally scared of his own shadow) did nothing back after he was kicked, shoved and punched apart from yelling at the kid as he ran off.

five minutes later he's back with mummy as i hear her say "take no notice, you play there if you want" as she stands menacingly watching over the situation. yep love, maybe you should have tried that to begin with.

Baysmum · 06/08/2007 18:48

Soooooo frustrating!! Yes we all know kids push and hit BUT adults are sposed to be there to actually let them know that this isnt actually acceptable behaviour. Then parents such as myself get called over bloody protective - aaargh!

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