To think parents shouldn't let their kids talk in the cinema?

[worriedaboutray]

Went to see Toy Story 4 at 8:30pm with well-behaved 10 year old DC.

A lady with her DC, aged about 7, talked to him the whole way through. He was a bit hyper and asking lots of questions, imitating what was on the screen and occasionally jumping up.

But the bit that annoyed me was that the mother initiated talking to him even when he was quiet, pointing out things about the plot and explaining what was going on. It was a constant narration throughout the whole thing and incredibly distracting.

I'm torn because it's a kids' film, so kids are obviously entitled to be there. And he could perhaps have had ADHD or other SEN, as I noticed after the film that he was whizzing about the place. If he had additional needs he may find the plot hard to follow and need her guidance.

But where's the line? Is there a level of disruption that's inappropriate? I tried to "shhhh" a couple of times, and this started the Mum "shhh"ing, but it only lasted 5 minutes.

Noticed she rushed out of there the second the credits came up, and felt bad as perhaps she was embarrassed and didn't know how to control him.

I'm on the fence... I don't want to criticise a mum of a child with SEN, who may have brought him to the cinema in desperation. But if he didn't have SEN, it was quite annoying.

God we had this in the Pokemon movie. Some kid in front who just would not shut up and was indulged by his mother.

I think it's really patronising to suggest all kids with SEND can't learn appropriate behaviour. Some can, some can't and it's often situational and nuanced.

At the end as we left the manager came over and gave this kids movie posters saying he'd never met anyone so keen to see it - manager hadn't witnessed the behaviour in the film and my two were so pissed off.

@Idontwanttotalk erm because she stated herself that the child may have had SEN??

in one group and the rest were amazingly adult men sitting on their own throughout the cinema which to me is odd in itself

Adult groups are there because first Toy Story came out in 1995 and we just want to see how the toys are doing 24 years on😁
I would LOVE to go, but I know there is going to be lots of noise from families, so.. i am waiting for after the holidays when everyone saw it😁

Moving away wouldn't have helped, I was 6 rows behind already.

Saw him whizzing about in the lobby outside the film.

I agree there's nothing odd about adults wanting to see movies from their childhood.

Heavens OP: imagine shhh-ing someone else's child. This is mumsnet and that's equivalent to common assault dontchaknow. I hope the mother called the police

YANBU. Some people can't or won't parent

Sorry I am a lazy arse! I didnt mean toy story I was talking about my visit to see Dora the explorer ! Sorry for confusion!

If it's the £1.50 Saturday morning showing then it's fair game for a bit of talking and less than quiet behaviour, but if it's full price tickets then I'd expect people to be quiet. I do appreciate that this is difficult for DCs with SN but I believe there are SN friendly screenings for most major films.

Even Dora has been on Nickelodeon since 2000

It was my DS2's favourite cartoon and he's 20yrs old now.

Mind you, he'd probably force his girlfriend into seeing it with him if he decided not to wait for the DVD

@Sallycinammonbangsthedruminthe oops. That was my mistake! Still first Dora was in 2000 if I am not mistaken, so maybe they were big fans then😁 And going to life action might look better than if it were animated😂

This. You don’t pay £10 a ticket to see a kids film and expect total silence. If you want that then wait for the DVD release.

Better still if your kid isn't mature enough to be able to sit through a film without chattering then YOU wait for the DVD release.

*YANBU at all.

Tbh I wish cinemas would enforce silence unless it's a special child/SEN showing.*

...pretty much agree to be honest. I don't take my child to see films that are unsuitable / she wouldn't understand and would talk through. If she was being noisy for some reason we would take a break from the screening or, more likely, leave. I wouldn't want to disturb others and ruin their enjoyment. It may 'only' be £10 a ticket, but that's not cheap for some and I would respect that. Before going to the cinema I research the film a bit and think carefully about whether it's likely my child will sit through nicely. There are special showings for young kids and SEN. And some SEN people I know would be more disturbed by people not following the rules in the cinema / moving around / making noise.

Kids club movies - slight allowances need to be made for noise talking by kids and a little disruption is to be expected not still within reason

Full price movie irrespective of it being a kids movie - no talking, no allowances, don't take your kids if they can't behave. I told two teenagers to be quiet at Toy Story, I'd have told them to be quiet and made no allowances to be honest

But where's the line? Is there a level of disruption that's inappropriate?

I think this bit of your post is interesting OP.

Last week when I went to the cinema, some of these rules were displayed in the adverts leading up to the film itself. This means everyone knows the expectations. So no talking, switch off phone, keep rustling packets to a minimum, and if your kids get upset/cry, take them out.

Of course kids with SEN should be included in the cinema experience, but not so that others have their enjoyment spoilt - that's not fair or respectful of others. You prepare your kids for being in a cinema, role playing at home, talking through what the rules are. To just shrug and say "well that's the way they are, why should they change?" just doesn't set them up well to learn the social rules and they will struggle as they get older. I say this as a parent with DC with SEN.

Some kids may just not be ready to watch a film in the cinema, it can be an overwhelming experience being with others in a large space, in the dark and the volume of the film itself. Some cinemas accept this and have special screenings for kids with SEN, not to keep them separate, but for their own comfort and to make it positive for them.

At the end the mother asked over the seats whether they had enjoyed the film. I responded as if she had asked me “not really, thanks to the continuous running commentary from your kids”. She told me to fuck off

Says a lot doesn't it about why her kids are like that. It's always these type of mothers with the badly behaved kids.

YANBU about her instigating most of the chatter and (it sounds like) not really trying to get him to be quiet or keep it down.

It's obviously not his fault if he hadn't been taught cinema etiquette and/or has additional needs.

IME many adults behave badly in the cinema too. I am personally zero-tolerance about it and shush people/ask them firmly to switch phones off etc. I don't care if they glare or have a go at me.

I don’t take Ds to the cinema unless it’s the occasional special needs session. He can’t focus for that long, he also struggles with too much noise from elsewhere (people talking etc) so he can’t enjoy it and that would also risk spoiling the enjoyment for others there so it wouldn’t be fair on anyone.

We wait now and watch films when they are in sky store!

You don’t pay £10 a ticket to see a kids film and expect total silence

True, but I don't pay £10 a ticket to listen to other people's conversations. Kids will wriggle and chat in the cinema, I understand that. Doesn't stop me teaching my kids movie etiquette and appreciating other parents who do the same.

I think children should be banned from the cinema altogether! 😂

Currently in the cinema with DD six watching Dora (still ads before I get flamed for using my phone). I'll report back and let you know if children, mine included, manage to be quiet 😁

I don't mind general kid chatter but what I cannot stand is parents who talk back to them at full volume.

I experienced this in Toy Story 4 also

You go to the front desk and ask for a refund or tickets to another screening unless they ask people to be quiet.
I’ve had to do it, not a big deal.

I’m used to film festivals where people sit and enjoy the films quietly.

It because of this kind of thing, from adults as well as kids, that I now only go to the cinema on the opening weekend, when everyone wants to see the film, rather than going because they haven’t got anything else to do, and so actually want to watch rather than yap.

I'll never take my 8 year old with adhd to the cinema unless it's a sn screening after reading this thread.