To find getting baby down for 3 naps a day nauseating ?

[dontfollowmeimlosttoo]

6 month old baby - 3 naps a day. Needs these naps and he sleeps through the night great when I make sure he gets the naps. I am finding getting him down soul destroying ... it's usually around 2 hours after last wake up .., look out for eye rubbing yawning .. current method is rocking him in the pram in the living room . Sometimes it can only take a few pushes and he is off other times I am pushing for 30 minutes. It's embarrassing sometimes when I have anyone over obviously they go into another room but they know how long it's taking and I'm there sweating pushing away. Any tips for getting baby to nap in cot and to reduce the overall time it takes to get him to sleep? I just feel like I spend my whole day trying to get him to nap all for a good nights sleep and so he is alert and happy in awake time ( which he is but I have cried sometimes through frustration at just pushing pram back and fourth with him holding his feet messing around - it sounds like he isn't tired but he is ) any advice would be really appreciated

I am extremely sorry you feel embarrassed that sometimes takes 30 minutes to get your baby to sleep for a nap. This is one of the sadest things I’ve ever read. Babies grow and change all the time. It’s normal that there is variation day to day. Whose standards are you holding yourself to? Babies naturally have extremely random sleep. Yes awake times and consistent routine all help. But please try to find a way to enjoy your baby more and obsess less over how long it takes for you’re baby to go to sleep. I understand wanting to make the nights as easy as possible, but your baby is bound to have some easy nights, some rough. The 8 month sleep regression is a big one. Some babies have another one the 6 month mark. Their neurological development can be tracked with the “wonder weeks”. Have you heard about that? Learning to crawl.. all of these things can disrupt sleep habits. Stop expecting your baby to behave a certain way, because they are constantly changing. Spend more time bonding with your baby, sleep will come with time.

OP, just popping on here to say how active and stimulated he is when he is awake also matters, and might help to explain some of the differeence in how long it takes him to settle.

Also I used to take mine into their room at sleep time and just faff around a bit ( tidy/ change nappy/ close curtains etc..) - just a few minsutesto give them a chance to wind down abit. ( depending on how busy they'd just been). maybe have a little book in his room that you always look at before sleep -? just something to signal it's sleeptime.
Personally i find it hard ( even when I'm tired) to go straight from being awake to sleeping!

And as other posters said, please try to involve yourself as little as possible in the going to sleep process... let him learn to settle himself.

What a strange way to put it 🤔

What happened when you tried him in the cot

That’s not true actually CherryPavlova. Sleep is so important so we made compromises so DS2 got the same level of “indulgence” as our first. In fact we knew nothing about sleep with our first which meant he didn’t get nearly enough and was an overtired screaming mess for the first 6 months of his life.

OP ignore everyone who says just to let your baby sleep wherever - they’ll have had easy babies, some babies won’t sleep wherever, neither of mine have. I promise it gets easier, particularly when they drop to one nap and get easier. In the meantime, I put my headphones in and listen to a podcast whilst I’m trying to settle my little ones and the time goes really quickly that way. I think you’ll find things a lot easier when they drop to two naps. You’re doing the best thing for your baby getting them the rest they need but yes it is frustrating when it takes so long x

Also I wasn’t prepared to let my baby cry without me for even two minutes, self settling is developmental, you can’t teach them.

Dont feel silly introducing a dummy so late on - if it works it works. I could have written your post - would you like to DM me?

I have struggled for the whole year of Mat leave, feeling like life just revolves around nap times. It can feel very restricting. But like yours, my LO sleeps better at night if he gets good quality sleep during the day.

Perhaps its time to drop the last nap?

Do you drive and will he sleep in the car? If so, that can be a great way of getting his nap in whilst heading out somewhere. Then you can do something nice at the other end and come home when time for next nap.

Have you tried getting him to start napping in the cot in his room?

I still rock mine and use a dummy. He will be one next week. He is getting better at going down himself from drowsy (rather than having to put him down asleep) but it has taken all year to get to this point.

If he seems to be refusing the nap just stop and try again later. It might involve a few days /nights of disturbance but at 6 months old he is developing so much and perhaps needs a 'reset'?!

3 naps is a lot. Normally is one or two but never 3. The older he gets the less he'll need. Also needs to get tired.

My DD is 4 months and I was where you are 2 months ago, except I was only aiming for 2 naps a day. We dropped one and now she sleeps 9-6 overnight and has one nap approximately 12-3pm. Professionals would say that's not enough but it works for us and there's far less stress than when I was trying to force naps. There's a huge range of normal with babies.

I let them fall asleep on the bottle, let them sleep on me, didn’t force it me too.

3 naps at 6 months is perfectly normal. My second is 4m and on 4 naps a day. For me,consistency in terms of trying to initiate a nap is important (we are currently on a 1.5hr wake time between naps). My first went to 3 naps at aboit 5-6m and then down to 2 naps at about 10m, and 1 nap at about 18m. Still on the 1 nap at 2 and a bit.

We get our children to sleep in either the pram or a sling.even now at 2 (though if home we then transfer her from sling to bed.). This is YOUR routine so find something that works for your family. When I pop my eldest in a sling to get her to sleep, if often do the dishes, potter round the house etc whilst it 'work's (usually 5-10mins). It helps it not become frustrating.

I wouldn't rush the use of cot naps personally. With the sling method, my toddler has even managed to fall asleep in soft play whilst his friends played. If you become dependant on a cot then you get stuck at home every day.

OP ignore everyone who says just to let your baby sleep wherever - they’ll have had easy babies

Ha! Yeah, ok.

Op your methods seem quite"structured" for such a young baby.

I've read your follow up posts but I would seriously suggest , like other posters, trying new methods.

Sling / harness
Buggy outside in wind/cool place wrapped up with noise like road and traffic noise
"On demand" so try just waiting to see if baby falls asleep on playmat etc
Try changing bedtime, 7pm at night is v v early, try a couple nights of keeping up later to see
Walk away to see if baby will settle, ours has about a 3-4 min cutoff where if we're out of sight (hiding behind the door watching through the gap!! ) suddenly sleepiness takes over!
Good consistent nap hygiene, e.g. in darkness or with same calm music playing etc

I guess what I'm saying is that: you seem at the end of your tether and exhausted, it sounds like you're so focused on sleep that you're probably not enjoying time with your baby much. So try new things, it's a shame you've now given a dummy as a test, but keep experimenting with all of my and other suggestions.

DS1 was a nightmare napper. 3 x 30 mins was a very rare day and I was going out of my mind because I knew he was tired and I had also read all the books saying he needed more. I tried everything from leaving him to it to rocking to walking to driving etc. I was then reading an unrelated self-help book and the phrase 'what you resist, persists' was the main message. It hit home for me. I realised I was fighting a losing battle and it was affecting my mental health and relationship with the baby.
So I stopped 'trying.' We got on with our day and if he slept he slept , if he didn't he didn't. It was SUCH a relief. Probably my calmer state of mind helped both of us.
He thrived on stimulation. No noise or light could be bright enough. That sensory need has been a need for him to this day (now 8). He didn't start getting a 'proper' nap until I went back to work and he went to nursery at 10 months. It took a while but he got to an hour a day.
DS2 had a dummy (both breastfed on demand) and that definitely made a difference but he was also the baby that had to fit in so he had the nursery runs to sleep if he wanted or in my arms at home.
You have lots of practical advice here but mine is emotional. Don't let yourself get twisted in knots (sweating) just to get them to sleep. It's doing neither of you any good.If you can, mentally 'let go' of the battle for sleep. There are many battles to have over the years and I gave up on this one for a calmer, happier time with my baby.

gracepoolesrum One nap for a 4 month old is very unusual. It would be more common to be on that at 12-15m. Most babies that age would be overtired messes on that routin. If it works for you then great but you’re going to be an exception.

@Whocutdownthecherrytree I have anxiety and worry about judgment from others so I find it overwhelming when people come and spend a day / weekend with us

Reading this thread has just blown my mind! My ds is 15 weeks/3.5 months and just sleeps when he wants to. He's demand breastfed and we follow his lead with naps. Some days he might have 2 1 hour naps, other days he might have 3 or 4 2 hour naps. I didn't even realise all of this clock watching was a thing! If I have something planned then we go out in pram or car seat sometimes he naps sometimes he screams and sometimes he looks around, babbles and plays with his hands/feet/teddy. He wakes 3-4 times most nights for a feed which I thought was fairly ok as milk is still so important. What's the rush to 'sleep through?'. Should i be overhauling his sleep and my life? Genuinely interested FTM clearly winging it🙄

@Serialgoogler what a lovely post, it really hit home for me too

Maybe time to change to two naps a day now OP?
One at 9.30/10.30 depending what time he wakes up and one at 2.30ish? Bug no need to be so strict, it can fit in around the things you want to do.
Yes, there may be some night disturbance while he gets used to it...BUT you will have your life back in the day.

@Bettyhop you sound happy with your style so why would you change it?

But yes, there are whole books of strictly timed routines to follow from birth...written by expert nannies (with no children of their own).

@Bettyhop, if it’s working for you then carry on doing what you’re doing

The big, dirty, secret is that no one actually knows it all, if they’re lucky they figure out their baby (the little blighters change their minds like the wind though!) but we’re all fudging it in truth. The only difference is some people recognise they stumbled on a solution so offer it up in case it helps someone else too and some people take it that means they’re baby whispers and what worked for them will work for everyone if they just do it right then they go on to write books just to reinforce their view point.

In truth most stuff irons itself out with time and a whole new raft of conundrums present themselves

Bettyhop The difference is you have a 15 week old. Babies are generally pretty flexible at that point. Lots of them get far fussier re naps from 4/5 months onwards as their sleep cycles change and become more like an adult’s. You might be able to continue as you are. You might not. It’ll depend on you but also your baby. My first would sleep whenever she was tired (although from 6m only on me or the buggy) without a fuss. My second becomes a mess if we miss her sleep window.

@Teacakequeen

When my son wouldn't sleep anywhere but on me, we had 2 horrendous days that I had to just stay foccussed and power through but I put him in his cot and if he didn't go down within 15 mins I'd take him out until he looked tired again. 1st day he slept for 10 mins all day. 2nd day he had 3 naps in his cot. This cracked it! Then I sent him to nursery and they've ballsed it all up for me by rocking him but that's another thread all together! I just bit the bullet and it worked. Baby hasn't read the rules I'm afraid so don't sweat too much about when they drop naps, routines etc. When he's tired, let him sleep

Bettyhop, with both children I didn't institute x number of naps I just observed their natural cycle, and that they were happier if they fell asleep after a certain amount of time awake. So no nap times as much, but just 'oh I expect they are tired about now ' and that works well for us personally. If further other ideas that's fine too