To wonder when I became invisible?

[DrInvisible]

Recently split up from my partner after 15 years. Very unexpected. He’d been cheating. Never thought I’d find myself single.

Am currently in the loos at a club. Having a bloody brilliant night with a group of 5 girls (some single, some not) but I seem to be invisible. I’m the only one who hasn’t been approached by a man (admittedly it’s slim pickings in here but the confidence boost might’ve been nice). All the other ladies have been chatted up multiple times tonight. I’m actually quite embarrassed at how much I’m being ignored.

I thought I was what you’d consider a conventionally attractive person. I’m slim, decent genes, well dressed. I never had any problems with male attention last time I was ‘on the pull’ (ok, so I was 20 and I hadn’t had 3 kids, admittedly).

So bloody depressing! I am honestly thinking of going running back to my ex!

What am I doing wrong here? I felt fabulous when I left the house.

Online dating is the answer to this IMO, I love that no longer do we have to stand in pubs/clubs hoping to get chatted up.

Best thing that was ever said to me,bearing in mind I am approaching 50 and menopausal and overweight,was...you are not invisible...only truly special people can see you!.And its true...I am not invisible to my family or my friends who have always seen me for better or worse and have stayed so central to my life and my happiness over the years.I suppose thats all that matters really in the end.

Surprise - men chat up young girls and not women who are approaching 40. Plus there are likely to be more young single men, the older men who might chat you up are more likely to already be taken and less likely to even be out in the first place. It’s not a reflection on your attractiveness, you’re just not surrounded by your target market.

You were looking for it OP. Stealth attract males by ignoring them and then giving them a side eye. Me and my best friend are both in relationships, but when we go out we do both get a lot of attention, sometimes me more than her, sometimes her more than me. We literally ignore anyway, I may sometimes be flattered genuinely, but generally we ignore, but it’s still nice to be genuinely noticed, even when in ‘love’. But all I can say is just have a brilliant night, don’t look for it; and it will find you.

Thanks all. I wasn’t going with a hope of being picked up. Don’t think I’m ready for that. Just my first experience in a club since I was young and nubile.

Also, I wrote that post while verrry drunk. My looks may be lacking but my ability to navigate mumsnet, including a name change, while under the influence of tequila, is strong!