About 6 months ago ex’s df bought ds2 a laptop. Ds has since complained that it is too ‘laggy’ to use for Roblox, which is all he wants to use it for really, and has told me that ex has said I need to pay to have it ‘cleaned’/fixed, which they (ds2 and ex) have apparently found out will cost about £80. Ds2 has told me ex has said that I need to pay for it as he (ex) can’t afford to.
I really don’t want to pay this because:
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I didn’t buy it. I’ve looked on the reviews for it and I think it was a cheap option and that it wasn’t the best choice for ds’s requirements. Why should I end up paying for someone else’s poor choice and will the work done actually have the desired effect?
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Ds uses my laptop when he’s with me – although he brings this laptop to mine he uses mine as usual because it’s better. I limit his time on it, as I would do even if he was using his own because that’s what parents do. He also has an xbox at mine (also time limited) so he doesn’t actually need this laptop when he’s at mine at all.
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I believe ex’s df bought the laptop because ex works from home on his laptop and allows the dc pretty much unlimited screen time. Ds2 doesn’t have a phone yet, or any other device, so I think this laptop was bought as a way of making ex’s life easier as ds2 would be able to go on it all the time at his house, allowing ex to work and generally have a quiet life. So I would therefore be paying for ex to have an easier life. It caused tension when it was bought between ds2 and his db – nothing similar was bought for ds1 and it wasn’t ds2’s birthday but it was just bought to get ds2 off ex’s laptop imo - and of course it was me who had to smooth that over…
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Ex pays no maintenance (CMS have taken him to court but that got me the grand total of £16 and he continues not to pay) and he buys the dc nothing. That does have a bearing in my reluctance to pay. He doesn’t work in full-time employment but is going away on holiday in a couple of weeks, smokes, drinks, and prioritises his ‘band’ over paid employment.
A slightly complicating factor is that ds2 recently broke ex’s laptop by spilling a glass of water over it. Ex has told him he can’t afford to replace it and he uses ds2’s laptop to work on whenever ds2 is there for a period of time, but since ds only spends 1 night a week there I’m not sure exactly what this ‘work’ that ex does is. Ds2 shouldn’t have spilt the water but it was an accident and if ex didn’t allow him to sit on screen the whole entire time it may not have happened – and surely I’m not responsible for ds2’s accidents when he’s with ex?
I can afford to pay it but I don’t spend £80 without some serious thought and I really don’t want to spend it on this. It seems ex will be a major beneficiary. I also feel like some research needs to be done to find out if it’s even worth it, and I don’t want to do that either – if I choose to buy the dc something major like that I look into it, but now I feel lumbered with picking up the pieces of someone else’s poor choice (not that I think ex df should have paid more – I wish he hadn’t bloody bought it). Ds2 has said he will spend his pocket money on it. He has about £300 saved that he has easy access to (more substantial savings are not accessible until he’s 18, luckily) but, again, I don’t want him to spend a sizeable chunk of his money on this, for mainly the same reasons that I don’t want to spend my money on it.
Any thoughts would be so much appreciated – this has been rumbling on for a while but seems to be coming to a head so I need to make a decision but I really don’t know whether or not I’m being UR to refuse to pay it and email ex telling him so and not to mention my paying it to ds again. DS is 10 if that’s relevant.