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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be fuming with DP

3 replies

heylyla · 24/08/2019 21:28

We were talking about something, I don't even remember what, which turned into an argument during which he called me a hypocrite. I wasn't being a hypocrite, so it didn't even make sense in the context he used it and I told him that.

The argument then continued and he called me a hypochondriac. This really hurt me as him calling me that was completely irrelevant to what we were talking but mainly because I have postnatal anxiety surrounding the health of DD, so him saying this just seemed like a way for him to really upset me.

Side note - he has called me this during a previous argument when getting frustrated about me constantly worrying as a result of the postnatal anxiety. I called him out on it and he said he didn't even know what it meant (probably a lie) but I told him anyway and he hadn't called me it again since until tonight.

When he called me it tonight, I called him out on it again, he said he didn't know what it meant. I told him he was lying because I had told him what it meant the last time he used it. He said "I don't know what it means. I didn't even use hypocrite in the right context, I don't know what that means either." This is also a lie, he's used it in the right context before so seems like an excuse to try get out of things.

The argument continued and he then threw a phone charger, which hit the wall. I told him he'd marked the wall and I wanted him to repaint it. He told me it hadn't even hit the wall I claimed it did - it did!! I literally watched it!

I told him he's a liar and I'm sick of him lying to try get out of the situations he causes. He started hysterically laughing at me and laughing over me when I spoke, ignoring everything I was saying and laughing over me.

He makes me feel like shit. He makes me feel like I'm in the wrong when I call him out over his behaviour. AIBU to have reacted the way I did? He's genuinely making me feel like I'm crazy.

OP posts:
Andysbestadventure · 24/08/2019 21:34

Erm. I suggest splitting up and therapy for you both tbh. Your poor Daughter.

Lifeisabeach09 · 24/08/2019 21:42

He would irritate the hell out of me. How old is he?!

Anyway, he is gaslighting you.

www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/communication-success/201704/7-stages-gaslighting-in-relationship

You might want to give the relationship a rethink!

Toneitdown · 24/08/2019 21:45

Grown adults know the words hypochondriac and hypocrite. They aren't unusual words.

He sounds like a child. Maybe ask him to go and stay at a friend's house for a while if you are arguing so much

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