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Original poster

To cry over this...

23 replies

Sleepysleep4321 · 24/08/2019 20:55

Firstly, I’m definitely too sentimental and sensitive for my own good so that’s definitely what’s impacting upon the way I feel at the moment.

So, we’re in the process of moving to a new area. Love the area we’re moving to and will still have some family around us, house is on the market now and had one viewing so far. We have one child. Is it normal to suddenly feel sad over certain things. For example, we’ll be moving out of the house we brought our son home to from hospital after he was born. From the place we’ve shared all his ‘firsts’ so far. Moving to the new area means that if we’re fortunate enough to have another child in the future, they won’t be born at the same hospital as our son was - which is an AMAZING hospital with fantastic staff. There are other things but it all comes down to things that are associated to/relevant to our son. Another thing worrying me is that we’ve viewed potential nurseries for him in the new area and although we like one of them, it’s very different to the one he’s in now and I need to adjust my thinking about it. Is this my subconscious telling me I don’t want to move? Or is it just because moving is so momentous that a typically sentimental softy like myself is bound to feel this way and I’ll get over it eventually.

Please help me reframe my thinking!

Thank you.

OP posts:
Bunnybigears · 24/08/2019 20:59

Why are you moving? In one because I wanted to so even though I was leaving DS's first home it didnt bother me. I imagine if you are miving because you hav2 to I imagine it's less easy.

puguin86 · 24/08/2019 21:00

Hi OP. I have experienced this. I changed my thinking to the next adventure. So for example when DC changed nursery it was a new adventure and I focussed on all the new things we would do x

Wingingitsince2018 · 24/08/2019 21:04

I'm in a similar situation and definitely feel a deep sense of sadness about leaving our current home.

It was our first real home, bought 100% on heart and location and we have spent 3 years renovating it. We absolutely adore it.

But it isn't practical for us anymore with a little family that we also hope to add to in the next few years. The house we are moving to is much more practical and I know it is a good decision, but that still doesn't change the fact I am really upset about the thought of leaving where we are.

I guess I am just hoping that once we have moved and made it our home, I will love the new place even more and will have many years of new memories there.

No advice really, but definitely in support!

Reinga · 24/08/2019 21:05

It's natural to feel sad about moving, especially when you have so many happy memories associated with your current house. But remember that a house is just bricks and mortar, the next place you move to will become "home" in time.
Facing the unknown can be scary but you know all the positives of the new area and you'll soon settle in, bringing your memories with you and creating new ones.

missbattenburg · 24/08/2019 21:05

When I feel like this I remind myself that I would much, much rather be a little sad at saying goodbye than have left it to the stage where I think "bloody hell, I'm glad to see the back of that f*cking thing".

Someone else will bring thier son/daughte rhome to that house, or have a different but equally pecious memory there.

Roussette · 24/08/2019 21:08

Don't cry!

I remember leaving our home where our lot were conceived, went to primary school etc etc and I was so upset at the move. On the day of moving I just stood there looking round our house thinking of all the memories and I was bereft. But then it was a new start (we moved for secondary school and it was the very best thing we ever did because the new school was brilliant).

I look back on that house with such fond memories but it is only bricks and mortar and it's the future that matters, it was the best move we ever made, our kids did well in the new school and the rest is history.

Gustavo1 · 24/08/2019 21:11

I felt exactly the same leaving our first home where my first two children were brought home to. Felt like I was losing memories. I wasn’t. Was just making new ones. I also found out that I was pregnant just after we moved. Might have explained the extra emotion!

AlexaAmbidextra · 24/08/2019 21:16

Oh don’t worry OP. Last time I moved, even though I was really excited about my new house, I sobbed in the village shop because they gave me a good luck card. I didn’t even have the excuse that I’d raised a family in the house I was leaving. 😂

WhenPushComesToShove · 24/08/2019 21:22

Don't want to be unkind but for God's sake live in the now NOT the past. So what if it was your son's first home. That's a wonderful memory which you'll always carry in your heart where ever you live. Look forward not back. Sorry to say but get a grip!

ParkheadParadise · 24/08/2019 21:22

I felt like that when I moved.
I had lived in my tiny 2bed flat with dd for 17 yrs. I loved it, dd had grown up there. My neighbours were great.

I was getting married we had a brand new beautiful 5 bed house to move into.
The area was quite snobby and I just wanted to go home.
Years later, when I drive by my old house I still think of it as mine 😉

nicenewdusters · 24/08/2019 21:31

I totally get you OP. I was the one who instigated our move to a bigger home for our family, we were bursting at the seams. But the day we left I burst into tears, as our dc had been born in the local hospital and been brought home here first. Lots of happy memories. Our next home was a brilliant move, but there will always be something special about that first home.

justasking111 · 24/08/2019 21:35

I was like that, still feel nostalgic years later. I drive past our first house occasionally. It is normal. You will make new memories.

Alarmclockstop · 24/08/2019 21:47

Look on YouTube for Miranda lambert, the house that built me you will be sobbing. I still miss my childhood home and my halls of residence so totally get it

Toothproblems · 24/08/2019 21:52

I understand you. We rent so have moved a few times so most houses have had a newborn and firsts in it. Try not to think about it and concentrate on all the nice things to happen in the new house

WereYouHareWhenIWasFox · 24/08/2019 21:54

I still have the house we brought our babies home to. I have only been there once in the last decade, I didn’t feel anything, you take your memories with you.

ChicCroissant · 24/08/2019 21:55

We had to relocate for my DH's job and I felt exactly the same about leaving our house where we'd brought DD home from hospital to, and raising her there. We've been in the new location longer than DD was in her old house, so although she fondly remembers our other house this is the area she knows best.

shiveringtimber · 24/08/2019 22:02

Some would say you're lucky to have a new home to move to! Not to be unsympathetic but please try to look forward. Is there a possibility you might be suffering from PND?

katseyes7 · 24/08/2019 22:10

My friend and her husband lost their little boy. He was 7. They left his bedroom as it was. When they were going to move house, she was very torn about it. Until her husband said "Look, if you want to take all his stuff from his room, even if we have to take the carpet up and strip the wallpaper, we will."
l think that made her realise that they had amazing memories of him, and that nothing would ever change that. They moved, and years later, moved abroad for work. Their little boy is buried here. lt must have been very hard for them, but they did it and they're doing well.
l think you're just feeling nostalgic. Nothing can take your happy memories away. As PP said, look back with fondness and forward with anticipation.

SirJamesTalbotAndHisSpeculum · 24/08/2019 22:26

Come off it, OP.

It's just a house.

A house. You're not being rational if you're investing all this emotion into bricks and mortar.

TheInebriati · 24/08/2019 22:32

Emotions aren't rational.

When I move, I go round each of the empty rooms and say goodbye. It helps me let go. Who wants to go through life like a robot anyway?

IncrediblySadToo · 24/08/2019 22:47

WhenPushComesToShove

Don't want to be unkind

Then don’t be, you can CHOOSE not to reply orcto reoky with kindness, but you didn’t, you CHOSE to be unkind.

Unnecessarily unkind!

OhTheRoses · 24/08/2019 22:49

We moved from our family home of more than 20 years a few years ago - in the run up I was worried and thought it would be more than hard. Babies brought home, first days at school, etc.

When all the furniture was on the van, pictures off the walls, etc, it was an empty house. Our home was on the van and in our hearts.

IncrediblySadToo · 24/08/2019 22:58

*atseyes7

My friend and her husband lost their little boy. He was 7. They left his bedroom as it was. When they were going to move house, she was very torn about it. Until her husband said "Look, if you want to take all his stuff from his room, even if we have to take the carpet up and strip the wallpaper, we will."

I don’t even know him- but I love that man.

@Sleepysleep4321 it’s perfectly normal to feel the way you do I’m like you - very sentimental and get very attached to things. My Dad died s few years ago and my mum recently sold our family home to downsize. Despite not having lived there for 30 years I cried buckets. It’s what the bricks & mortar symbolise.

You’ll still have all your memories it just takes a little more effort to hang onto them and to ‘see’ things, but you can do it. Try to think of the positive things about the new house 🏡🌷🌷

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