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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Workplace friendships :(

28 replies

Graduateaccountant · 24/08/2019 16:44

AIBU for traffic..

I started a new job a month ago. There are 4 of us in the same position, all girls of a similar age (one is a bit older at 30).

The 30 year old is nice. Lets call her C. The other 2... I can't work out. One of them (B) invites me out sometimes, she did the other day - saying A and her are going out, would I like to join them. So I did. Many times when I speak I've noticed I get ignored. If they're talking about something relating to before I joined and I say "ahh what happened?" they ignore me. A and B show pictures on their phones to each other when I'm there and don't show me.

I asked A what happened to one of our other colleagues - "has he been offered a permanent position?" (We are all on fixed term contracts). A said I can't say... then when I said "oh I bet he's going elsewhere then" A said "don't go spreading rumours" ?! C told me at a later time that our colleague has been offered a permanent position. So everyone knew anyway but A purposely left me out of the information.

Overall, I don't understand why B would bother to invite me out when I get ignored and left out when I'm there? And I feel really upset and down about the whole situation, and don't feel like talking when I'm with A and B as I get ignored anyway.

Please give me some advice :(

OP posts:
Graduateaccountant · 24/08/2019 18:11

@MNersAreBatshit

Jesus. You sound entitled and hard work. If B hasn't already regretted trying to include you she soon will.

Why? Don't you think it's rude to exclude 1 person when only 3 of you are out for lunch together?

OP posts:
Snog · 24/08/2019 18:40

I would back off from these friendships and be pleasant to colleagues but nothing more.

miaCara · 24/08/2019 21:35

Ive worked with some of my colleagues for 14 years and so far Ive not been out to lunch with any of them. I am friendly to all and manage to have several quick conversations throughout the day with different people. I dont place particular importance on these .None of it makes us BFFs.
Try to relax a bit more . If you speak to nobody it doesnt matter as long as they arent deliberately excluding you from work matters.
Let things take their natural course. You will get to know them better in a few more weeks.

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