sickness absence and prospective employers

[ATempNewName]

A friend and me are in similar situations in that we have bad sickness absence records and are both looking for other work.

My friend has been off for a month with mental health problems and had several odd days before this when she says (in her words) she couldn't be arsed.

Me, on the other hand, has been off work sick for nearly 6 months due to anxiety and stress brought on by bullying and disability discrimination. My employer has failed to make reasonable adjustments for me. I have a grievance which still has not been heard.

We are both worried about getting to the references stage when we apply for jobs. I am worried my sickness absence and horrible manager and HR will scupper my chances.

I know that normally they only ask for amount of days in a reference but I realise they might contact me to explain the number of days and I would not know what to say as I don't want to talk about the discrimination in case it puts the prospective employer off nor do I want to mention mental health due to the stigma associated.

My friend has decided that if she's ever asked, she will lie and say she had a late miscarriage. I'm horrified by this. She thinks they won't question it and won't ever know.

Is this true? Could I potentially give any reason for my sickness absence and the prospective employer would never know?

What do MNers suggest I say to explain the absence? What is a good answer, ideally one that won't lead to more suspicion or prompting.

And yes, I'm distancing myself from this friend!

To be fair I cam see her point.

Unfortunately, alot if companies, hear 'mental health issues' but dont here the vital where you explain its fully managed and you are ok now. It's not fair and it illegal. But it still happens.

I dont condone about her lying in such a way. But it's not easy to find work with a long absence. And you arent always treated fairly.

Lying about a late miscarriage is pretty fucked up but something vague like having a stressful time or stress caused by a family matter which is now resolved could be suitable

Time off for miscarriage is counted as pregnancy related sickness and not the same as other sickness so I don’t see how that would work. It’s also pretty revolting but that’s a separate issue.

I don’t have any advice on how to explain your own absences if you don’t want to be honest but good luck in your job search.

But how else would you explain away 6 m but MH. Even an operation, major physical illness etc unlikely to be more than 6 weeks.

As pp says your better to be upfront and clarify it’s now a managed illness

Be upfront with your new employer. I had a lot of time off one job due to illness. It made it harder to get another job, some employers were put off by my absence and didn’t hire me because of it. BUT when I did get a job it was with a boss who saw past it and recognised what I could bring to the role, I was much better suited there.
Be honest but don’t go into it too much, definitely don’t mention the grievance. In interviews focus on what you CAN do. A way around it would be to apply for less hours and say you’ve made this adjustment so you don’t need much time off in the future.
As for your friends miscarriage idea, as someone who has been through one, that makes me slightly sick that it would be used as an excuse.

I was off for 6 months with cancer and after I was offered a new job and the reference declared my sickness absence, my new boss phoned me to ask about it (very carefully) as she knew I didn't have to tell her. She asked by saying was there anything they could support me with etc. I'm happy to talk about it but I didn't have to. They wanted me and had offered the job, they just didn't want a really bad reason to think twice about it.

Extended periods are going to be hard to lie about without saying something that you would have to keep lying about. Presumably you'd want your mental health well supported in a new job so by lying about it and it coming out later is going to leave a sour taste....

Be upfront with your potential new employer. If you're caught lying it probably counts as gross misconduct and your contract can be terminated straight away - it's not worth the risk.

I was in a similar situation years ago. At the end of the interview when they asked if there was anything more I wanted to talk about I said that a large part of the reason I was leaving was a conflict between myself and my manager which meant that I was worried about the reference, and that due to that conflict I'd had a lot of time off. They were happy to accept a reference from the job before that one, 3 years earlier and I'm still in that job

What do MNers suggest I say to explain the absence?

I think you’ve got to be totally upfront and honest, explain that your current absence levels are situational, and that you’re so confident that you can prove to your new potential employer that this is not the norm that you’ll accept an
extended probation period or a renegotiation of their usual sick pay policy for a set period.

Being honest as an employer - offering you a job is a massive business risk in the first place, if I found out a few weeks/months in you’d lied, I’d be questioning your integrity and you’d have to have blown me away as employee of the century in your probationary period, for me not to be having second thoughts about keeping you on.

In the case of your friend who sounds like an utter gobshite, If the lie had been about a miscarriage, I’d sack her on the spot.

how would 6 months stress/anxiety be perceived if disclosed? It is a FE college I am applying for and I'd really like the role.

I am trying to stay within the public sector as they may be more likely to be disability confident etc.

I am anxious as I have seen a lot of reference request forms that ask questions about how many absences, reasons behind the absence, performance issues, etc. My line manager could say whatever the hell she wanted, whether true or not. I know she can't tell lies but I may never see the reference to know for sure.

I don't think my employer has a standard request policy as a former employee got a very good detailed personal reference from our then manager (who has since unfortunately left)

To be completely honest, few employers would be willing to take the risk with someone who’s had six months’ absence unless there were no other suitable candidates. Some organisations, especially public sector, might say that they’d assess each situation on its merit, but the reality is that that length of absence is a red flag.

damn, NC fail

Its a shitty situation then. You either stay in an environment that makes you ill, or take sick leave and still can't leave that environment because no one else wants you.

Is there no way at all I can gloss over the absence / make it sound better?

Keep applying for jobs. Be truthful about your sick record and the reasons why you have had so much time off. For most employers it will be a red flag but you may be lucky and find somewhere that can see past your history and employ you.

I don’t think you should try to gloss over your absence record. You should be honest about it (anything else will undermine trust if it comes out at a later date). You can however put a bit of spin on it to reassure potential employers, e.g. you could say that the length of absence was as a result of particular factors present in your previous working environment and that having been through that experience you are now more confident at identifying such factors and raising for early discussion before they have chance to become problems or have any negative impact. As a PP said, you should aim to explain that the issues before were situational, and also to sound like you are now more proactive in ensuring the same problems don’t happen again.

I just have to hope the question isn't asked or my employer has a policy of not disclosing this.

Perhaps I could say "I had time off for my mental health but I am fully recovered and my GP has declared me fit for work. I feel a new environment would also be beneficial for me"

Is that too vague or glossy? Would that still raise red flags?