Is DD doing enough in summer?

[pilotedgrey]

DD2 is 14. I have friends with DDs similar ages to mine and they seem to go out everyday and most evenings. I’m a bit at them telling me that my DD doesn’t do enough when I was shocked at how much theirs do and told them what DD2 did this week.

We got back from the US last Sunday and since then she’s been to one house party in the evening, gone into Camden (a short walk from our house), gone to Shoreditch, gone into Central London to do some shopping, gone to local parks and also went to the Heath to chill with friends.

She hasn’t done much else and her days usually consist of brunches, instagram photography , shopping, netflix, reading, meeting friends etc. AIBU to think this is perfectly fine and summer is for relaxing? She’s almost completed the summer revision school have given her for Physics and French she hasn’t got any other work left after that and I want her to relax how she pleases, not having to go to 10000 clubs and meet 5 different friends every single day

Is her summer normal? What are your 14/15 year olds doing?

If she's happy and you're happy that's fine.

Erm sounds like she’s done quite a lot to me

my dd is 15 and her summer sounds very similar to your dd's. she has done a fair bit of revision, because she is going into year 11, but she hasn't been meeting friends everyday x

Also we live in London and those particular friends don’t so perhaps that makes a difference as her dad and I don’t feel comfortable with her going around late as there’s obviously knife crime and then all the other worries of the big city! As my friends DC are going around on bikes at 8/9 PM but DD is home by 7/8 in summer (as are all of her friends) if she’s alone and 9/10 if she’s in an uber with a group of friends etc. The only times she stays out later is if there’s a party which DH, her dad or I will pick her up from.

@NoSauce She’s certainly done more than I would do with a long summer off work!

@sleepismysuperpower1 That’s good to hear

I feel like my dc haven't done much, only 6 & 7 but we've done lots of cycling, scootering, adventuring, playing in the garden...we've been abroad twice this year but no holidays over the 6 weeks. They seem happy to be honest though!

@lanbro That sounds like what Ex and I did with the DC when they were younger, if they’re enjoying themselves that’s all that matters really.

I could take some of my own advice

Not everyone wants to be surrounded by people every minute of their day, even when they’re a teenager. Sounds to me like your DD’s been pretty sociable. I was definitely more keen on a few relaxed shopping trips and chilling out when I was her age. I wouldn’t have wanted to be out every single day and evening.

Honestly OP it sounds like a great mix of meeting up with friends, shopping and chilling. That’s what school holidays are for. If she’s happy then that’s all that counts.

Blimey I thought you were going to say that she is cooped up in her room all day, but she is socialising and pretty much done something every day! I don't see the problem.

Sounds like my summers as a teen and I remember them fondly!

Ds is 15. He has done 5 days sailing, a bit of tutoring.

I want your DD’s life, OP. It sounds great.

Okay no need to worry then! Thank you guys so much

My 14 year old doesn't go out in the evening at all, except to play football with a bunch of friends on the pitch which I can see from the driveway :o

We're rural, 14 and 12 year olds are out and about on their bikes within a roughly 6 mile radius in the daytime, but never after about 6pm tbh. Seems normal amount DD's friends although some of the very slightly older boys are out later and come to the football pitch from villages further away and don't cycle home til 9pm - none out after dark though.

DD's school friends are spread across a massive rural catchment (easily 30 miles) and the nearest bus stop is 5 miles away, aside from the once per day service which is effectively a school bus, so that's a bit limiting - she arranges things around my work shifts and meets friends at the open air pool or less often in town.

I don't think she's met anyone for brunch in her life! She goes to cafes sometimes but more often in term time as they have freedom to go into town for lunch, or stay after school (encouraged by parents to save on lifts).

There aren't any house parties I've ever heard of, only birthday parties which she needs picking up from about 10pm but again they seem to generally be outside in the garden roasting marshmallows over a fire pit or playing football, or inside watching films, not what I'd call a house party!

Today DD asked for a lift to the big DIY shop to buy herself pain and repainted her bedroom! She also met friends on a different football pitch for an hour of football, which she's just got home from.

Your DD is having a very different summer to my rural DD but not doing less!

PainT paint not pain!