To think the crutches are an excise

[Northernsoulgirl45]

So dh has never really been hands on. I have been largely a sahp with part time jobs whilst he earned the money to pay the bills.
So fairly balanced.
Neither of us are in perfect health but I largely manage to carry on as normal. Dh has arthritis which affects him greatly meaning that for the last year I have been his carer and kept the house and kids going in addition to my jobs.
Aibu to thonk he should ditch the crutches nearly 3 months post hip surgery. I feel they are a means of allowing him to do nothing whilst I run the house etc and wait on him.
Or am I being mean?

Excuse. Long day

I can’t tell you whether he’s faking it. I think you need to have a frank discussion with him.

I jnow you are right

Know

Sorry OP none of us here can know. If it was just the hip operation, then yes he does not need crutches after 3 months, or if he really did he should be going back to the Dr.
But if you think he is overplaying his symptoms then you do need to have a frank discussion with him.

Can you accompany him to his next physio/orthopaedic appointment?

I'm due a hip replacement soon. I've been told I'll be on crutches for the first 12 hours. Then maybe a walking stick for 2 weeks.

After my 1st hip replacement, I used 2 crutches for a few days & then 1 for a couple of weeks, then down to one stick occasionally.
Either he has structural complications from this major surgery (in which case see his surgeon asap) or needs more therapy to rebuild muscle (see physio asap).
Or, just possibly, he is milking it...
I know what I think (& sorry, it's not the first 2 options.)
I'd have a serious discussion with him. It is just not fair on you.

My FIL has just had his second hip replaced, aged 76.
He went in for surgery 10 days ago and while he still has crutches at his house, he’s not using them to walk around at home, only on short walks around the block.
I think only you know though if he’s using it as an excuse.
As a pp suggested, can you accompany him to his next appointment and find out if the arthritis is creeping in more (as a way of finding out if it’s being exaggerated to you)?

It does depend entirely on the individual and their reactions to surgery. After my hip replacement I used two crutches for four weeks, until I was seen by the physio team. I then had two walking sticks for another four weeks, and one for three weeks after that.

I agree that crutches 3 months on seems a bit unnecessary.

Although it depends on the individual, it sounds like he's taking the Mick.

You’re not being mean. Either something has gone very wrong with his surgery or he’s completely taking advantage of you. Even light household chores can be done on crutches.

I’m dependent on crutches for getting about generally (would fall flat on my face without them), however don’t use them in the home as I go v slowly and carefully or grab onto the wall. But I do manage to cook and clean and get myself to work etc.

It’s very easy to become dependent on crutches. Has he tried to mobilise without them at all? If he absolutely cannot you could look at aids for in the home to assist him in being more independent and more to the point, less dependent on you and helpful?

You need to find out what the consultant or physio says.

My mum had a hip replacement and they had her out of bed and trying to walk in a few hours.

My dd had a different hip op and wasn't allowed to bear any weight on that leg for 3 months.

It feels like he has slipped through tgr net physio wise so going to chase up.
Today I had to push him around in a wheelchair as he was so bad. (Bournemouth is so hilly!) So I know he isn't completeky milking it but on the other hand he was bad today as he forgot to take nedication yesterday

The cynic in me wonders how much pain he is in day to day if he can just totally forget to take his meds.
Although I’m one of those people whose dc have to have limbs actually completely detached from their body before contemplating calling the gp for an appointment in 4 weeks so I’m not the most sympathetic of people!

Does he have osteoarthritis or rheumatoid arthritis? This can possibly make a difference to what his mobility is like.

I think it is now classed as osteo arthritis so I kmow I should be sympathetic but he is so full of how it affects him abd ehat he us misding out on. He doesn't srrm to have any consideration for the extra pressure on family life which I largely bear the brunt of.

Sorry lousy typing.

Have you talked to him about the stress you are under? Whether or not he needs the crutches maybe you can re-jig things a bit. If he needs crutches long term are there adaptations that can help make him independent or take on more of the daily tasks?

I will do later.