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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think having immediate green surroundings is more important than a big garden to raise a newborn/kid??

30 replies

commuters30 · 23/08/2019 20:57

I know that having a big garden is great and private and kids can play in it without worry, but then if the surrounding is purely residential roads and the nearest green area is 30 mins walk away, would that feel a bit isolated in terms of interaction and activities for the kid?

In comparison a place with a small garden but which is literally 5 mins walk to a park with benches where lots of people walk dogs etc, I feel like that's better for a new born (and onwards) even though it means less private space to play in and smaller home.

AIBU? Is there an obvious answer I'm missing or is this one of those "either is OK" kind of things?

OP posts:

JohnLapsleyParlabane · 23/08/2019 20:59

I think either is ok, but I'm glad we live near a psrk

TinyMystery · 23/08/2019 21:02

I think either is fine. We live quite rurally and have a large garden (tiny house though) and are surrounded by farmland so have lots of ‘green space’ but not a social area like a park. Our nearest park is a 40 minute walk (on footpaths)/10 minute drive. The garden is great with the baby but I’m sure we’ll visit the park lots when he’s bigger too.

Laiste · 23/08/2019 21:03

I think you're right. Tiny garden + green spaces nearby is better than big garden with no other green space nearby.

However - if we're talking a choice between NO garden, but with a park nearby or tiny garden with no park nearby, then i'd chose the tiny garden.

museumum · 23/08/2019 21:03

I think if you have a big family of three kids or more then your own big garden is ideal.
But one child or two would prefer to go to the park and meet other kids.

Laiste · 23/08/2019 21:04

I've had to read my post back it seemed like gobbledygook!

HTruffle · 23/08/2019 21:05

We have a tiny garden and plenty of nearby parks. We love the parks and go most days. The small garden was great when the DCs were tiny but as they’re getting bigger it’s frustrating. Hardly enough space for kicking a football and definitely not big enough for a small game of tennis or anything like that. So my answer is both, ideally!

cadburyegg · 23/08/2019 21:08

No, i think a bigger garden is better even if it’s a longer walk to a park.

billy1966 · 23/08/2019 21:08

I would go with the second for sure. I'm lucky I have both. If you like to garden a large garden is wonderful. However, as children get bigger they love to meet friends in the park to kick a ball etc.
So if I had to choose, near a park, smaller garden for sure.

stopgap · 23/08/2019 21:09

We have an acre of flat garden and my two boys are out there all the time playing football, going on the trampoline if generally just tearing around.

When they were really tiny, they preferred playgrounds, but at 8 and 6 they now prefer having friends over to play.

AudacityOfHope · 23/08/2019 21:10

We live five minutes from the park and we're still moving to get a bigger garden. DS is football mad and our little garden can't contain him any more, and sometimes we just want him to be able to hang out in the garden.

Laiste · 23/08/2019 21:11

I've done:
No garden lots and lots of green space (London).
Small garden some green space. (village)
Mahoosive garden no green space. (village but surrounding fields all full of animals and no parks)
Medium garden some green space. (village where we are now)

Best of all? London.

Lunafortheloveogod · 23/08/2019 21:13

There’s also things to consider like the walking route? Would you walk through the park a lot to get to other places, park is the shortest/least roads/least busy route into town for b/sil which turned into a hell of avoiding it anytime they didn’t want a tantrum from the toddler who seen the park and kids having a great time but unfortunately couldn’t go at that time.

Also if it’s a park that’s a little out the way you might want to drive by at night, one of ours becomes the local teenage hang out after dark.. it’s loud, Bon fires, under age drinking, damage to property and the park itself. The tree cover is enough that they can’t be seen from the road so if they hear police coming they vanish into the wooded area for a bit.

Big garden will be more useful when kids are older so if your buying that’s something to consider since you’d be able to put swings and bits out for dc’s and their friends.

Poetryinaction · 23/08/2019 21:13

A garden is amazing as the kids can be out in it the minute they wake until bedtime or as much or little as they like. Mine go to out first thing in the morning and potter in and out all day if we are at home. We still go to the park, but they also get endless outdoor time on top, when they don't need to have anything packed or ready or presentable. I don't need to be showered or dressed. I can get housework done. I can have a cup of tea. A garden is better.

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 23/08/2019 21:14

We have a huge garden. It's great for small kids playing as fully enclosed but rubbish for pre schoolers learning to scoot and cycle. We either have to run next to them on the pavement so they dont go in the road, or drive to a park. It is nice when they've got friends over. I guess there are positives and negatives to everything

trilbydoll · 23/08/2019 21:14

The benefit of a garden is you can be cooking tea while the kids are outside. Little kids don't need a huge amount of space, they're happy digging a hole in a flowerbed so it's nice for them to be doing that while you're too busy to take them to the park.

Horispondle · 23/08/2019 21:14

I had shared garden on busy street and large city park 2 mins away with a newborn and I would say garden is more important. Park is good for taking newborn in a pram but you can't control who is in the park, sometimes it's busy, full of dogs, bbqs people playing music. I just wanted to sit in the sun for 10 mins peace with baby on a playmat and not have to pack up half the house. I then moved to suburbs and had a tiny garden but fully enclosed so could leave toddler to potter about safely with their own toys whilst I hung up washing etc. Could still take them out to a further away park to meet friends etc.

Sayhellotothethings · 23/08/2019 21:17

I agree. We have a small garden but live 2 minutes from 3 fields (all in different directions) and a park. I know people that have bigger gardens but live in the middle of busy traffic routes or estates.

My children can still play in our garden whilst they are small.

CalmAndQuiet · 23/08/2019 21:21

I moved from a small house with tiny garden and lovely big park nearby, 1 min away. We used the park lots (and others) but I always felt like we couldn’t ever just relax at home.
Move to a much bigger house with big garden and park a bit further away. Big garden has made a massive difference and I no longer feel like we have to be out all day. So much nicer for them to be able to play properly in the garden now and they can have friends over to play, whilst I can get on with things, have friends round for a drink in the garden, do some gardening! I love it. So much better than before.
Mine are both preschool age.

Geschwister4 · 23/08/2019 22:04

I guess if you need space for football then a park is great, but what about things like playing in the paddling pool? Or planting sunflowers? You can't really do them in a public park. Having your own green space gives you more options.

Elieza · 23/08/2019 22:34

A small garden is worth its weight in gold for small children running in and out happily in summer playing safely as you do whatever in the kitchen etc - and pets too (especially pets with a tummy bug, yuk, better to leave the back door open for them to dash out if they have the runs! Better thats outside so you can hose it away than inside on your good carpet/wood floor)

WhyBirdStop · 23/08/2019 23:19

There are benefits to both, we have a large garden and it's brilliant for DS to have a crawl around, play on his swing, paddling pool, sandpit etc and when we have friends/family to visit frequently, especially those with children. We also live close (walking distance) to a couple of large lovely parks with historic buildings, duck ponds, cafes, cricket green and the seafront, and it's nice to get out for a walk and we do most days. It was especially nice when he was tiny and would only sleep in a sling, being held or in his pram, as it meant I got some time without a tiny human clinging to me like a spider monkey . I'd walk, he'd sleep, I'd listen to podcasts.

I think as he gets older the garden space will be invaluable so he can burn off energy while we're doing other bits and pieces but we'll also still get out regularly as a family to the local amenities.

Userzzzzz · 23/08/2019 23:37

We’ve got both: a big garden and a park round the corner. The garden is used far more. We love the park and enjoy it regularly but being able to chuck the children into the garden is invaluable and makes life so much easier. You can get on with things while they play, you don’t have to worry about needing the loo etc, you don’t have to take stuff out with you. In the summer, getting the hose and paddling pool out is lovely as well.

I’d also say, having space (both inside and outside) means the children are automatically more active over a whole day. My 3 year old is in and out, running around all day. She’s much more active in her play by having space to roam compared to a set activity of going to the park for an hour.

Mrsmurrayposh · 24/08/2019 00:31

You need at least half an acre per kid. Remember, they can jump higher than you might think, so fence off to at least 7 feet high. They also hate getting wet, so consider a sturdy, waterproof shelter.

JustMe81 · 24/08/2019 00:41

We have a fairly small garden and no real park nearby. The garden is great now my son is a toddler but I do wish we had a park nearby. I feel like when we go for walks we’re wandering aimlessly or to the shops whereas with a park we’d always have somewhere to go. I wouldn’t want to give up the garden though.

Original poster

commuters30 · 24/08/2019 22:25

wow thanks so much for the comments, it never fails to amaze me how many people have already gone through the same things!!!

so it sounds like both are good... our current garden is reasonable (not huge), 5 mins walk to the park, 20 mins walk to cinema and shops, and 10 mins drive to a good hospital and GPs.

Seems like it's not really worth actually going for a bigger place with much bigger garden, further from parks and decent hospital...

oh the things that keep me awake at night

OP posts:

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