To ask wwyd with this housing situation

[Qwerty19]

For context I moved into this 2 bed lovely flat when it was just me and ds it's a housing association flat. Lovely area etc etc. I never intended to meet someone fall in love blah blah.

We decided to have a dc.. Our room was big enough to accommodate then go on bottom Bunk of ds.. Only to sleep as toys etc are in lounge.. All good. Not lacking space etc.

Then dh took his ex to court as she was messing with contact only allowing 2 hours a week for no reason.. The court wasn't happy with that and she kept saying dd is not staying over night etc etc. and granted 50% holidays and eow Fri to Sun..

So dsd now has bottom bunk. Ds on top.. Again it's only to sleep and court was OK with this.

Dd 18m.still in our room on her toddler bed.

I am. Now pregnant after being told we wouldn't concieve due to factors on both parts unless we had treatment as we did with dd.

So we DO NOT EXPECT the council to house us and we're trying to do this on our own.

We can either
A.. private rent at a stretch cheapest 3 bed is 1k per month. Which would mean no savings etc but need to find a guarantor as dh only earns 28k. The guarantor would be for the remainder of what the estate agents allow is to self guarantor for.

B. Get a decent sofa bed for lounge for us. Make our room into a room for dsd, dd and then baby when old enough. And try to save towards a part rent part buy. But would rake about 5 yrs.

Part of me thinks do what we need for here and now.. Part of me is terrified of giving up a secure tenancy which has just been renewed for a further 7 year fixed term.

As I say. We don't expect to be housed. We know there's a shortage etc. And we can find a way around it. But which way?

Honestly, for where you are now...I would stay put.

Be overcrowded and see if the council will re-House you. Try and get a swap too, you never know if there’s someone trying to downsize.

It’s very noble talking of doing it on your own but the time for that would have been before you were pregnant again 🤷🏻‍♀️ You are where you are and i would put my family before any idealistic notions now.

With it being Housing Association, do they run an exchange scheme where you could swap properties with another tenant looking to move? Some do, some don't but if they do then that could be an option.

I'd go with the sofa bed and save option as it'll be the best long term but I would also apply to join the housing register in the meantime in case a suitable property was offered during the saving period.

You may not be classed as overcrowded by the council as they only count the residents in the home, overnight contact doesn’t count ( in my borough anyway). They also class kids as being able to share until they are around 8 (i think, although I have heard 10) if different sex so any wait on a list would be a long one and you would only be eligible for a 2 bed at the moment probably, but no harm in putting your name on the list now anyway.

Exchange may be the way forward, or there is an option in this area through some of the housing associations to do a rent to buy scheme, that may be worth looking into?

I would swap rooms so you eventually just put all 4 kids in the biggest room.

Stop being so sanctimonious. Apply for a council house. You will get a house and free up a house, so the available housing stock remains the same.
What is wrong with that? Is it that you assume that council houses are only for those who are in desperate need. They're not, and depending where you live the waiting list can be quite short.
Or are you just saying that because you are aware of the well known MN aversion to anyone in a council house?
Sod em. Approach your HA first and see if they have a bigger house in your nice area and if that doesnt work, approach the council
And stop being a snob

I would do the sofa bed scenario, and save to buy. Better in the long run

I agree just cope with it for now and apply for swaps when baby is here.

Also, tell DH to get a vasectomy.

Don't give up your affordable secure tenancy, make do, apply for swaps, save up for shared ownership.

Sofa bed and save for a mortgage. If you rent now, you'll struggle to mortgage.

I have a similar situation. I don’t have a bedroom. I have to use the living room. Not ideal but we are used to it.

Thank you.

We are classed as overcrowded. However been told its a 7 Yr wait minimum and I understand there are people worse off etc.

Were on the exchange list but lots of time wasters. But we do try.

The housing association and council work together on a homebid scenario points system so can't approach just ha. I have tried but they said to bid..

Thanks for the perspective. Lots of food for thought there. Its very appreciated and as we said we'd rather try and do on our own ideally.

How old are your son and his daughter? They’re not related and shouldn’t be expected to share beyond a certain age.

So you have an imminent problem and a long term one. I’d approach it as two separate issues.

Buy a sofa bed and that will alleviate the short term problem.

Second issue - the long term view. 5 yrs to save up to buy, 7 yr housing list wait... I’d hedge my bets. Stay where you are for now, go on the housing list and start saving up to buy. If in a couple of years the whole thing becomes utterly intolerable, you will have a chunk of money to pay rent up front on a private rental if needs be. If not, you can buy in 5 yrs and you never know your luck you might get rehoused sooner.

The absolute last thing I would do is give up such a secure tenancy for the private rental lottery. If you’re always going to need a guarantor you will be so vulnerable. The kids are better off with the security of your current tenancy and a bit of overcrowding.

Stay where you are and save for a mortgage for sure, it will be worth it in the long term. Can you use kallax to make your room into 2 "rooms" and have a bunk bed in each? As dsd isnt there FT that's your DS and 2 x smaller ones so easier. Could juggle around a bit so dsd stays im your room when she's over and you guys stay on a sofa bed? Gives her a bit more space too.

Can you move to a cheaper/more rural area. Ignore if you have to be in a big city for work. But where I am, its possible to commute to two big cities within an hour and rent a 4 bedroom terraced farm cottage for £450-£650.

My ds is 13.
Dsd is 7.
Dd is 18m

The court have said its fine to share for a couple of years until next review.

Housing will not accept the court order as her staying here as we do not receive child benefits for her.

My only concern is our lounge is open plan.. Which can be irritating with the fridge freezer noise and boiler but I guess we'd get used to it..
My thinking is to stay here and try to save.. Dh useless at saving so I'd take over that and I'd be very strict and prob drive everyone mad haha.

I think you’re right. Whatever you end up doing, you will be in a much better position if you have savings to spend on it.

You’ll get used to the noise soon enough, and before you know it you’ll miss them if they’re not there!

I would stay put sofa bed and save. There are some decent sofa beds out there. We have one. It's solid. I found a similar one on eBay. Will find the link. It's new btw

rover.ebay.com/rover/0/0/0?mpre=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.ebay.co.uk%2Fulk%2Fitm%2F113810429495

Obviously depends on the size of your living room. We have a smaller one from a different company. And it comes in 4 parts and all slots in together

B.

So we DO NOT EXPECT the council to house us and we're trying to do this on our own.

That's a good thing, because it ain't gonna happen - they're putting entire families in bloody 2-bed shipping containers there.

The girls will be expected to share and your lounge considered sleeping space.

I highly recommend bulletproof birth control after this one.

I don’t think a 7yo girl and 13yo boy should be expected to share! Not fair for either of them. Definitely look into swapping so you still have the secure tenancy, swaps are arranged between tenants and finalised with the housing association so you don’t have the long wait like you do with bidding on houses

With a 13 yo boy and an 18 month daughter, you're already short of one bedroom (10 is the age at which children of opposite sexes shouldn't be sharing).

I'd stick it out, and save as much as you can. If you get your deposit saved up before you get a bigger place through the council, buy; if not, you get a bigger house and have savings!

Private renting is not only expensive, it's insecure. I'd never advise anyone to give up a secure tenancy in favour of an insecure one, unless they had to move to a different area because the main earner's job relocated or something. I've seen too many people have to move year after year because a landlord wants to sell up.

The fridge will be fine - have had one in my room before + lived in a studio, if it's really old a newer one might be a godsend if quieter.

For sure take over the money managing if DH is rubbish, also your DS might be off to uni at 18 so one less person when youngest starts school.

I would defo separate by sex where possible so if dc4 is a girl all girls in the big room and ds in small /vice versa if it's a boy, might be worth finding out the sex for this.

Does Dh work mon- fri and could you pick up a few weekend hours in a call centre/pub/etc? How much is a 3 bed to buy where you are? Is he making the most of your tax allowance (believe it can be shared if you earn under a certain amount?) Maybe start an ISA for your deposit so you can see it grow.

Housing register. Get all local connection parishes listed. Bid on one's with 106 agreements you can meet. Welfare panel for higher banding if possible.

Sit tight and save too.