To be nervous meeting colleague

[strongestcoffeeever]

It’s now over. He ended the incessant contact , the sexual comments , the flattery and the fawning. He finally understood that I didnt have the romantic interest and when he accepted that he asked that we detach. I agreed and was secretly thrilled . However we will work side by side for the next six months under a restructuring and I’m sick to think of the awkwardness.I dont know how to be . My tone of
Voice , my facial expressions and body language give me away every time. Any advice please ? I have Zero interest in this colleague fwiw. He got a little full on and misread the situation but has moved on, met some one new and has begun to stop fawning etc. I probably sound silly and immature but the whole dynamic will now change and I’m nervous and awkward . Please advise and many thanks .

Anyone? I’m aware the number probably present as being ridiculous . I would just love some advice on how to be when
The nature of the office dynamic will chamge to a totally new dynamic . Thanks

Detached but pleasant and professional.

That's the way I would go about it. That way there's no way for misinterpretation.

If he tries anything again, I suggest you go to your line manager immediately and discuss it with them. You have a right to work without being harassed.

You can also threaten police involvement. They will log everything. You ring them whenever he tries to initiate contact outside of work. Save the messages etc. It's usually enough of a deterrent to threaten police (in my experience).

I would really urge you to log this with them now though. Say that you've dealt with it and have come to an understanding so there's no need for any action. But logging it now will protect you in the future, should anything happen.

Btw you are not being silly or immature. You were being harassed and rightly, feel intimidated and fragile.

Thanks for posting. I did confide in a
Colleague who I’m close to and she thought that he was being a little Inappropriate but also said.. that’s just the way Dave is etc. He is a very nice and funny person , we got on great before he got a little creepy. It is a pity as we all had such fun in and out of the office , so because the dynamic will have changed, I expect the atmosphere to be tense and awkward .
We always spoke about our friends, family, holidays etc but now I feel that I should keep talk solely to work and light matters which In itself will be strange .

It's very hard to understand what happened. Did you used to work with him and now he's come back? Were you having an affair? Seeing each other outside work? Texting outside work? What actually happened?

We worked on a project together over a matter of months. He was kind and praising. We worked well as a team. He would try to shut other colleagues out, hang around a little longer than necessary and then started to send messages about the work. It was usually e mail. He ten started to
Pass comment on my hair, new clothes, how I looked. He started to ask very
Personal questions about my famiy. This all happened over a period of two years. He then started to send links about work
Related topics that he said I may be interested in, then links to more casual articles eg tourist destinations etc. I always replies courteously and kindly but cut the interaction short . I bagan to ignore texts and he continued to send them. Some
were sexual in nature , not personal to me
But generally sexual . So I asked him to stop. He did for some months. He began once more with observations on my work. He got a bit creepy and full on but was careful not to be too obvious around other office colleagues. He text when he was out at night and despite his relationships, he continued this. I then muted him around the same time that he was transferred to our European office . He got the message but told me that it was time he detached . I suspect that his partner got an idea of his behaviour . He is coming back in a few weeks. I don’t know how to behave and I’m
Nervous about it happening again. I am
Very soft and hate confrontation. Thanks

I think you should talk to HR about it if he gives you any hassle at all. I wouldn't enter into any kind of personal communication with him and would block him on your phone.