To think you say sorry in this situation?

[Quartermaster]

Just been to a trial gym class with DD2. The class is for 3 year olds so all are 3, or 3 in the next few weeks.

The trial class included twin boys who were presumably that age. They were quite disruptive during the class, running around rather than doing the activities which meant that one of the teachers had to man-mark them at all times. Fine, they are 3 year olds, so you expect that.

However, after the class, one of them ran up to my pram, containing sleeping DD3 (8 weeks) and whacked the hood right by her head. This shook the pram and startled DD3. Mum saw but said nothing at all, just continued trying to get him to put his shoes on.

I then had some admin to do to sign DD2 up, so did that before leaving. As we left, the same boy was running around the car park while his mum sorted their cycle trailer.

She then called him over and he ran past and whacked the pram again! DD3 was crying by this point and so I said ‘Can you please not hit my newborn’ to which his mum started shrieking after me that he had only hit the pram not the baby, what was my problem etc.

So, AIBU to expect an apology in that situation? I have 4 DC and would be absolutely mortified if one of them did something like that once to someone else’s pram, let alone twice.

I would probably have said sorry but it sounds a bit like the mum is at the end of tether & anticipating an incident of 'bad behaviour' by the kids which made her behave defensively. And I think when you have a newborn you can feel very protective of them & sensitive to any potential harm to them

It might be worth having a word with the people running the class if the disruptive behaviour is affecting others and the child carries on with that behaviour. If the mum were stopping it then I wouldn't say anything, but she clearly won't.
My son started a gymnastics class last year but he was the youngest in the class and he was disruptive. I didn't take him back; I just waited a year for him to mature a bit. She should be doing the same if she can't control them.

yanbu. at all. at work a few weeks ago someone had dialled 999 because their 9 year old was "trashing the house"....

No you are right I would have expected an apology. A boy of about 3 splashed my 2 year old with water at the park yesterday causing her to cry, the mum came straight over with the little boy and told him to say sorry. I was actually pretty impressed as sadly my experience is the same as yours in the op and most parents seem to ignore it/pretend they didn’t see. Yanbu

Yanbu at all. She absolutely should have said sorry, made him say sorry, check your baby was ok and been parenting in the first place. Some people are so entitled.

YANBU

In our NCT group we have one boy of a similar age who runs around whacking his younger sibling and the other kids. Never once has his mum or dad told him not to hit, or asked him to apologise (or done so on his behalf). The other parents always have to step in when they see him lift his hand. It makes me so cross when I see parents let their kids just hit other children/things without teaching them that it's not ok.

yanbu. 3 year old twins must be hard work and I'm sure shes at the end of her tether but there was no need for her to have a go at you and she should have been intervening. you should have told her that some of her assertiveness would have been better directed towards her child

Possibly she was probably feeling stressed, embarrassed, like everyone was thinking she was a bad mum and feeling at the end of her tether, just trying to keep it together to get ready to leave. I’ve been in similar situations ,one time, my 3 yr old daughter kept running off , someone let me past on the pavement, and I forgot to thank them because I was just about holding it together. She said you’re welcome to me in order to ‘tell me off’ and I was so upset, I didn’t say anything though!

On the other hand she could have just been rude!

If my child had not been engaging in a session and being disruptive I would have left the session.

She should have apologised but he didn’t hit your newborn . The bigger issue is do you want your DD going there is the class is going to be so disrupted?

Ok great thank you - wasn’t sure if I was being too protective with the newborn!

I don't understand how you could be questioning yourself over this. She sounds horrendous, as do her bratty kids

I'd have been far ruder.

People are far more likely to judge you if you don’t apologise! I’m sorry but it’s true. We all get stressed but that isn’t a reason to let your children run wild. And they didn’t do it once it was twice.

The twins mum sounds like a self centred beatch

See I would have been mortified...and got my child and told him to sit the fuck down, I'd have apologised to you about 10 times mumbling some excuse as to why my child was a hyper shit right now and been stupidly embarrassed.