Husband demanding I have Mental health check

[Hatherden123]

Hi - I'm trying to separate from my husband of 20 years, we have 3 DC, ages 14, 12 and 10.
He refuses to move out and today turned down an offer on our house which is up for sale and could mean a clean break.
I got really upset that he'd turned the offer down as I saw it as my way out of a nightmare marriage.
He says I'm mental and he will get a court to test my mental health before I ever get to have our children - can he do this ?
I have been on and off anti depressants over the years and am worried that he will use this against me.

What an abhorrent man! As hard as it is, try to remain upbeat Infront of your kids,do not run him down to them at all, and don't argue in front of them, or at all if you can help it. Your children will
respect you for it and see through his behaviour. They're not daft! They won't want either of you playing 'piggy in the middle' with them. It sounds like he will be unable to resist and they will resent him for it. On what grounds did he refuse the house offer? Was it close to the asking price? Did he agree the asking price with you when the house was marketed? You definitely need a solicitor. And record any vile things that he says to you. Do not though, ever ask your children to act as witnesses. I was put in this position as a teenager and it was horrific. The antidepressants thing is of no concern. It won't be used against you! Good luck. You need to stay strong and focussed for your kids.

I would try to record some of what he says, get a solicitor, and leave with your children. He is abusive and no good to any of you.

You poor thing ...what a total shit head! Nobody can 'force' anyone to have an MH assessment ffs! Anyway, you had one probably when you were first prescribed and stay on them to maintain a level keel, right? Tonnes of people are on AD's these days - the judge might be, half the court might be. He will just make himself look like a twat. You stay safe....give him NO fuel. Stay as calm as you're able to. Don't respond. Don't drink too much alcohol as a crutch. Collect evidence, record stuff and please get out!

You really must get in touch with Womens Aid - call your local womens aid here.

He is an abuser and they all follow the same tired script. Blah blah blah. What is upsetting is abusers don't care who they use as ammunition eg the children

You need to find a way to effectively protect your kids and that's where the experts come in - Womens Aid know their stuff. They will suggest you do the Freedom Programme and I highly recommend you do - go along to a group if you can, imo it is better to be with others who are experiencing the same things.

Many of us have got out of situations like this. You need the wisdom and expertise of the experts so get onto them asap xx

*protect you and your children

Being in antidepressants means you have been proactive about your mental health.

He is trying to hurt you any way he can. Please just ignore him and get legal representation.

Seconding springydaff, Women's Aid isn't just for those who have experienced physical abuse - they are there for women who have suffered any type of abuse. Please do contact them, they are fantastic.

His behaviour is typical of an abusive partner and the courts are well used to dealing with men like him I doubt it will get a second thought. Ignore him and don’t let his behaviour provoke an emotional reaction from you as that is what he wants

He sounds very controlling OP don't let him do this and I would go and see a solicitor who specialises in family law and divorce.

He's full of shite!

It's a very common thing to throw around.

But half the bloody country is on antidepressants that won't wash at all!

I have pretty severe ocd, anxiety and depression. My ex tried the same on me too and it was laughed out of court!

He could try and use such nonsense he will be wasting his time and money and the courts time - and pissing off judges is NEVER a good idea.

Smile and nod, get a good lawyer and stop believing his utter bullshit!

Op - if you are going to use a solicitor try and get a recommendation of here.

Not all solicitors will have your best interests at heart - mine used my MH against me and my emotional vulnerability to get me to follow a course of action I was not happy with. I told them what my x was capable of - they did not believe me - he manipulated everything and got away with it.

I sent evidence to the judge he was lying over the performance of his business - it was ignored. I had to take my MH support worker to court to get a hearing adjourned as the judge did not believe me or accept a drs certificate and several reports from MH saying I was too ill to attend court. I was shafted in finalhearing.

I’m telling you this as my gut was telling me something was not right with my solicitor but I thought it was me being overly sensitive -I did not believe that a solicitor would act in this way.

They were found by legal Ombudsman to have acted badly in their charging I’m still trying to pursue for the advice side of things

As someone said I was also told that taking Ad was a good sign in looking after your own MH - good luck

OP my ex did this to me, the judge asked me to do a mental health check. I stood there in total amazement and I told them all so, as my ex wrongfully retained my son in another country and now has a criminal record. I spoke to CAFCASS about it because I was just gobsmacked that I was asked to be checked and not him, they told me it was to prove to him that I was perfectly healthy of mind. I paid £50 and my GP wrote an amazing letter, outlining how I was in no way mentally ill, and if I was on anti-depressants it was to help me with PTSD following the terrible abuse that was inflicted upon me and my son by his father. I got custody of our son.

I told the court that I was being treated like a Victorian woman, presumably inflicted with melancholy and hysteria, and maybe they should consider sectioning me😂😂, the judge smirked...

Please don’t worry, the judges know that stupid men try this one, it rarely works because, as was the case with me, my ex was quite obviously the mental one.

💐 Just always remember who you are and everything will be fine!

What Graphista said.

I agree with the post stating that being on AD's demonstrates that you are proactively managing your MH condition. Clearly removing yourself and kids from a manipulative bastard will also boost your MH. I would think the main thing, if you are asked (and I hope you wouldn't be) is that your AD and dose has enabled you to maintain a steady mood level and clarity of thought / decision making. Though I sincerely hope that you wouldn't be asked at all!

as every other poster says - he is being abusive.

This is very distressing to read.

The fact he called your child in to "testify" that you were "nuts" is chilling and abusive for the child.

What a terrible thing to have to be cross examined on as a child.

Please get ready to walk away from this man - your children will pay the price if you don't make a move soon.

My friend's husband threatened the same when she tried to leave him. He got nowhere with his threats. The fact she was on medication proved she was taking steps to tackle poor mental health.

And since she has left him she hasn't needed anti-depressants. Make of that what you will!

To quote a pp - shit stain on humanity is about right.

Get him out - hope you have supportive family and friends OP.