So a friend of a friend really (we went to school together but only see each other through mutual friend) is about to give birth next month. I'll call her L.
Last time I saw her (maybe a year - 18months ago) we had a chat about having kids. My DD was 2 at the time.
She was adamant she didn't want kids ever. Her DP was very keen to have kids. Our mutual friend (I'll call her M) was telling her she should have kids or she'd regret it. I, away from her DP and M when she asked me. I said very honestly that didn't think anyone who didn't want kids should have kids- even if their partner really did. It's not easy (pregnancy, giving up your body, early babies, toddlers) even when you wanted them dearly. I wouldn't have had DD unless I really really wanted her.
So fast forward to now, Since then I feel the same. I'm not pregnant with DD2. But had to think hard if it was the right thing to do
I'm going to see her tomorrow. M told me last week that L was pregnant and that "isn't it wonderful, her DP is taking 3 months off work to help ". M loves kids. She has 4. Her DH does the absolute minimum to help. She has always been at L to have kids " before it's too late"
So I guess ny question is - what do I say to L tomorrow? Congratulations seems a strange thing to say (she was so adamant. She's having a CS because she's terrified of childbirth). But i dont really have anything else to say. Lots of empathy on pregnancy I guess. But is Congratulations the right thing to kick off with?