To think the summer holidays should be a break for children?

[shouldprobablyfeelguilty]

My child’s moving into year 1 in a few weeks and it’s dawned on me that we’ve done no ‘learning’ over the summer. She’s not bothered about reading so I haven’t pushed it... she does drawing but not really writing and certainly no maths.

I saw a mum at the park who told me her DD has started the Y1 curriculum over the summer so she’s had a good start. Am I a shit parent?

Do you treat the summer hols as a learning opportunity for DC or a break for them?

AIBU to have not done ‘learning’ with DC over the summer?

We don't do anything formal, however we've sent postcards, used coins to pay for stuff, visited castles a farm etc

I'm very much in the learning through play camp. DS did do the summer reading challenge though, so has read a few pages every day.

Your friend is on the bonkers end of the spectrum though!

I think it’s good to keep up with a bit of reading for pleasure, although if a child really didn’t want to I wouldn’t push it. Your not a shit parent at all - ‘starting the Year 1 curriculum’ is unnecessary and a bit OTT, unless the child itself is really that keen and sees it as great fun. Besides, I’m sure your DC has done plenty of ‘learning’ - she’s Year 1, days out, drawing and general children’s play at home is still counts as learning at that age.

Definitely not U, give them a break ffs!!

You will have done learning OP, reading to her, trips out to different places, shopping (can you put 6 apples in the basket) or cooking - weighing ingredients.
I think sitting at table doing yr 1 curriculum sounds odd but every day stuff will have helped her.
My dd read a lot in hols between reception and yr1. Her reading was ready to take off and I paid for 2 months reading chest where they sent reading books by post. Her reading took off massively but she was wanting to do it and ready.

I think generally there is a happy medium somewhere in the middle.

There are plenty of ways to learn that aren’t sat down teaching type. Just linked into day to day life.

The other Mum sounds a bit pushy.

I didn't consciously do anything learning based with DD but TBF she loved books and reading and being read to from a very early age so needed no encouragement to keep on reading throughout the summer.

When I was a child I definitely didn't have anyone pushing schoolwork at me, but like DD I was an avid reader so viewed the school holidays as a great opportunity to change my own library books rather than having my Mum choose them for me (mobile library always called at our house while I was at school) and read more than usual.

My girls have had a busy 3 weeks in various clubs and activities and now are on holiday with me and DH. We tend to be quite active and do lots of different sports and activities on holiday which we all enjoy. I honestly think a few weeks off in the summer from formal learning is essential. There is so much pressure on children now and when they go back I know they will be rested and ready to jump back into school, friends and all their after school activities (although I know their dance teacher will be as they haven't done a single practice - meh!)

It’s just a difference in opinion. Neither of you are shit mums.

I read to my kids every night but that had nothing to do with school. I had a friend who thought every single thing was an opportunity for her kid to learn. If her daughter asked for a banana she had to spell it, say the colour and probably spell that too!
Fast forward ten years and her quite non academic child is looking to do a career involving horses. Her parents have resigned themselves - all that hot housing for nothing!
Chill out - let your child be a child. Having just had gcse results there’s enough pressure coming her way!

Yes done loads of trips like the gazoo, beach etc just nothing ‘formal’. There’s so much pressure now isn’t there? She just seems so young for it all.

At that age everything is a learning experience; school provides this formally but as long as your DD hasn’t been watching tv all day every day for 6 weeks then she’ll have learnt plenty

Whilst we haven't done any formal, sit at the table and learn your times tables and write a few stories type teaching and learning, we have done educational activities over the summer.

We've been to an art gallery, we've been to 3 local museums, we've done the reading challenge in the local library, we've watched endless episodes of Horrible Histories and Operation Ouch, we've played cards, we've visited local historic places, we've made rafts, we've done sewing and knitting, we've done science experiments in the kitchen, we've observed and researched the changing weather and how the season is moving from summer to autumn, we've followed recipes...

Every day it feels like we've done fuck all but looking at it as a list I see we've actually done quite a lot.

In my experience as both a parent and a teacher, learning and "lessons" over the summer should come naturally from doing something they're interested in and should be fun; that way, the children are more likely to remember and want to share their experiences when they get back to school. Children who are "hot-housed" sometimes seem to get bored and switch off from it.

There’s so much pressure now isn’t there? She just seems so young for it all.

I don’t think anyone is pressuring you to do anything other than what you have done. If your child has had a good summer, that’s great.

I was going to say i'm sure you have done every day learning through trips even the "mummy can i have this" - how much is it and do you have enough money" weighing out stuff for baking, telling the time to go to the park etc, is all learning.

No need to start the yr 1 curriculum - reading or being read to, and the every day learning is fine at that age.

Your friend sounds pushy and like shes going to be one of those mothers who think the school isnt chalanging enough etc

We never do formal learning during the summer.

However this summer they have learned a lot. We have been to France where they spoke French, went to the Louvre and learned all about the French Revolution at Versailles. They did drama club for a week. One did a orienteering taster and learned about maps and navigation. We have been to a castle, a stately home and a museum. DD went to a chocolate truffle making workshop and learned to temper chocolate.

Lots of learning.

I make them spend 10-15 mins a day during the week doing a workbook of their choice so English, maths or science. We have always read at bedtime since they were born and we visit the library during the holidays a fair amount so they read lots. I also ask them to spend 5 mins a day on the duolingo app keeping up to scratch with their French.

It’s a break but I think a six week gap from education is too hefty. We have lots of fun too and they actually find their workbooks and educational apps fun anyway.

We visit museums, art galleries and historical sites a lot and do lots of crafts so I guess they’re always learning in a way but it isn’t in a formal way, they find it fun. I’m a teacher so I guess I continue teaching during the holidays .

We aren't doing formal learning but I have made sure DD who is also going into year 1 has been reading to me regularly. I have also read her lots of stories of course. But to me the summer is for the chance to learn all kinds of other things - holiday clubs where they try new sports or activities and make new friends plus at home and on holiday doing arty things or playing a game together, baking a cake or visiting a new place.

We always did the homework set by school and read every day.

They do slip back if they do no learning over summer according to school.

We do summer reading challenge, visit museums, shop with money, cook and make dc halve ingredients etc. Nothing formal.

If you read about the ‘attainment gap’ (I think the correct term, it shows how important these informal learnings ate. Malcolm Gladwell in outliers had interesting thoughts on it. It’s a shame, but true...

Oh, chess app popular here!

No one is being unfair here. She can do what she wants with her child, just as you can with your child. Doing formal learning doesn't make her a shit parent anymore than you doing nothing formal with your child makes you a shit parent.

My dd is 6 (about to go into Year 2) and reading is non-negotiable over the summer holidays. I don't make her do it everyday but she must read most days. We also do a project together (on a topic of her choice) when we have time to kill, but if she doesn't fancy doing it then I don't make her.

OP do you read with your DD over the holidays? Reading does tend to have a bit of a dip over the summer holiday if you don't keep it up. But I wouldn't necessarily do 'schoolwork' over the holiday unless the DC want to. DS liked to play schools and do workbooks so we used to do a bit, but only when he wanted to, we didn't have a set time every day

My initial thought was yanbu and they should definitely have a break.
But then I remembered how I’ve heard/read about how kids really slip back over the summer in terms of reading and stuff so maybe it is good to keep things up a bit, but in a fun way.

Mine is the same age as yours. She loves reading and does it for pleasure, and has been begging me daily to do the ‘doodle maths’ app on the iPad. However if she hadn’t wanted to I wouldn’t have made her.