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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To drink alcohol without guilt.

1 reply

absopugginglutely · 22/08/2019 12:07

So I grew up with the kind of adults that needed me to be the adult while they got high/ pissed/ didn’t take responsibility.
I then fell into a Buddhist cult which encouraged me to take vows when I was 20 that I would never drink alcohol in my whole life lest I go to hell.
When I left the cult after ten years or so, I embarked on (what I thought was) another path of liberation by joining a 12 step -cult- group for over eaters this was quite a high demand group and although I found some interesting stuff out there and met some lovely addicts, I realised that it wasn’t working anymore and felt heavy and cult-like.
So that’s all of my twenties basically not partying/ drinking etc just trying to find “liberation”.

Just lately I have been (for the first time ever) having the odd drink. E.g one glass of Prosecco last weekend and I’ll probably have a drink this weekend because I’m going to a music festival.

It’s amazing how relaxed I feel, how much more fun I have with my friends, how much looser I feel just after one drink! I don’t have any inclination to drink too much because I’m a morning person and I can’t bear feeling groggy.

I’m a bit prone to depression so I would never push it or drink too much but it’s so liberating drinking in a measured way without shame or religious guilt- just because it’s quite nice every now and again.

Just because the adults around me were addicts it doesn’t mean that I need to carry that in my identity my whole life!

Anyway I just thought I’d post to sort of mark and celebrate being released from systems that are over the top and controlling.

OP posts:
Ponoka7 · 22/08/2019 12:31

That's a hell of a lot of emotional bagage to be carrying around with you.

I can see why you'd be attracted to a cult that enforced boundaries, after a neglectful childhood.

No-one should feel guilty for perfectly normal past times, be it food, alcohol or sex etc.

Life should be fun. Just have as much (safe) fun as you can for a while, while you work out exactly who you are and what you want. That's what your twenties should have been about.

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