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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have called the police

52 replies

Snowdropfairy85 · 22/08/2019 01:21

Up late can’t sleep, here on my own with my kids so quite alert to any noises. Heard something outside looked out the window and saw a large man using his iPhone torch and entering next door through the downstairs window. Freaked out and phoned 999 to report what I thought was a break in. Turns out my neighbour forgot his key now I feel like a dick, but wouldn’t have forgiven myself if it was someone breaking in and I didn’t do anything. Police turned up and banged on their door, not looking forward to seeing the neighbours in the morning now!

OP posts:

RebootYourEngine · 22/08/2019 04:06

You did the right thing.

But you keep saying why didn't he ring the doorbell or his wife. Maybe he was and was getting no answer. Maybe she was away for the night. Maybe he didn't want to wake her. There are quite a few reasons why.

My dp spent nearly an hour ringing me and the doorbell one night because I had double locked the door by accident so he couldn't get in. I was sleeping and it took him that long to wake me. If there was an open window downstairs he would have climbed in that.

Beautiful3 · 22/08/2019 05:27

You did the right thing. If it was a burglar and it went wrong, imagine how you'd feel for not reporting it.

stayathomer · 22/08/2019 05:54

yanbu! Our neighbours got broken into and the police kept asking afterwards had we heard anything , anything at all. At the end he said so many people hear/see things and assume it to be something other than a robbery so don't call the police and they'd rather call and find out nothing happened then get there afterwards

BoomBoomsCousin · 22/08/2019 06:42

YANBU. I'm fairly sure the neighbour will be glad you're looking out for them even if he's embarrassed at having the police round. I was an officer a few decades back and went to two similar situations and the householder was surprised but glad their neighbours were so civic-minded on both occasions. And so was I. I also caught a few burglars through similar similar calls.

To be honest, if I'd locked myself out late at night, thought my DH was asleep and knew how to break into my own house I'd break in rather than wake him. I wouldn't cause damage like breaking a lock or window but I'd climb on the shed roof and go in through the upstairs bathroom window if it was open (for instance). Why wake someone if you think you can get in without disturbing them?

PurpleFlower1983 · 22/08/2019 06:44

You did the right thing OP!

Vanhi · 22/08/2019 06:55

Just to add, my other half has forgotten his key loads of times, never once has he gone in through a window, he just rings me or the doorbell!

Which is great if you have someone permanently at home waiting to let you in. It doesn't take much imagination to realise this isn't always the case. Don't beat yourself up OP - you did what you thought was best. But do bear in mind some people live different lives from yours.

sewinginscotland · 22/08/2019 07:00

For those saying why didn't he ring his wife, my phone is on do not disturb overnight and we don't have a housephone. My husband would be crawling in through a window if he forgot his keys too!

But you did the right thing by calling the police, they would have been very grateful if it was a break in! I hope you managed to get some sleep in the end.

OMGshefoundmeout · 22/08/2019 07:26

I’ve come in through a window before now rather than wake up,the house. If a neighbour had spotted me and called the police I would have been embarrassed but grateful for their vigilance.

Yabbers · 22/08/2019 07:33

if it was me I’d ring the doorbell or ring my wife’s phone

Maybe she wasn’t in. Maybe she was unwell. Maybe he had rung the bell but she is a heavy sleeper and didn’t answer.

How dark was it that you didn’t recognise him, but could determine the make of his phone?

If you were worked, of course calling the police was the correct course of action, but all the judgement about what he was doing seems unnecessary.

Yabbers · 22/08/2019 07:34

*worried

sashh · 22/08/2019 07:39

I know the feeling, I once called 999 for a fire that wasn't.

I was in a flat, my next door neighbour's smoke alarm was going off and when I knocked on the door he didn't answer, here was also a smell of smoke.

Before the fire brigade arrived he opened the door and said he3 burnt something cooking and didn't open the door because he was trying to stop the alarm.

Fire fighters were fine about it, they also had a word with neighbour

LeysaV · 22/08/2019 07:44

Awww OP don't worry

As PPs have said if I was your neighbour I would certainly not be ignoring you . You were looking out for the house and wasn't to know it wasn't a burgler .

msmith501 · 22/08/2019 07:55

If I was your neighbour I'd buy you flowers to say thank you! The alternative is that next time you see a real burglar, you'll feel foolish and do nothing. On balance, a concerned neighbour is worth cherishing.

BlueSkiesLies · 22/08/2019 07:56

I’d be thanking you. That was good neighbour action.

Chouetted · 22/08/2019 08:01

I'd be thrilled.

I mean, I'd be mortified too, but it's a nice feeling to know that your neighbours are looking out for you. That would definitely outlast the mortification.

Sorrysorrysosorry · 22/08/2019 08:09

I hope you managed to get some sleep.

Do let us know the reaction of the neighbours when you next bump into them, they may not know it was you that called. I assume the police would just say we’ve had a report of someone entering your house.....

EllenAshSky1 · 22/08/2019 08:37

My oh jumped through my window playing with my kids when he came home from work.. (seemed normal at the time lol)

Next thing I know my door was being banged down by the police.

A man had seen my oh jump through the window and called the police.

I didn't mind at all and said that it's amazing someone had done that considering it could have been very different circumstances.

I wouldn't worry too much. Also the police may not have even mentioned it was you that had called.

Sexnotgender · 22/08/2019 08:39

Hope you managed to get some sleep after that! I’d have done the same as you.

BarrenFieldofFucks · 22/08/2019 08:50

We would always try to get in ourselves before waking anyone, that seems more logical to me!

However yanbu to call police. That's not to say he was doing anything weird or unusual IMO

CigarsofthePharoahs · 22/08/2019 08:54

Hope you got some sleep in the end op.
My mum called the police when she saw a young man climb up onto the 6 ft brick wall between ours and next doors garden. He walked along it, pulled a window open and went inside next doors house.
She didn't know they had a teenage son who used that as his main way in and out after dark. We'd not lived there very long.
Apparently the previous occupants of our the house had been similarly spooked.

Toothproblems · 22/08/2019 09:50

I'm impressed you were the only caller. Where i live at least 5 people would have seen and called the police. And 30 would have posted on Facebook! Everyone seems to have RING doorbells now too posting photos of people delivering leaflets asking if anyone knows who they are because they look suspicious....

If you were my neighbour I would have thanked you for calling. And then thanked you again for not putting on facebook

Original poster

Snowdropfairy85 · 22/08/2019 10:42

^^**Maybe she wasn’t in. Maybe she was unwell. Maybe he had rung the bell but she is a heavy sleeper and didn’t answer.

How dark was it that you didn’t recognise him, but could determine the make of his phone?

If you were worked, of course calling the police was the correct course of action, but all the judgement about what he was doing seems unnecessary.

It was pitch black and I had no idea what phone it was, I’ve got an iPhone with a torch which is why I just automatically wrote that but obviously in my calmed down state now I know it could have been any make of phone. If I knew it was my neighbour I would not have called the police, as I said to the call handler, it may well be someone whose forgotten their key but I don’t know, to be fair I could have called out and asked who it was but being on my own with two kids I wasn’t feeling like alerting the large man to my presence.

OP posts:

AlpacaGoodnight · 22/08/2019 11:08

You sound like a fab neighbour! Hopefully they appreciate it!

JustAVoidReally · 22/08/2019 11:14

YANBU, you did the neighbourly thing and looked out for them.

FunnyHappyGirl · 22/08/2019 11:27

Sorry OP but I had to chuckle. I have visions of him sneaking in late and hoping that his wife hadn't noticed how late it was, only for the police to be banging on the door 10 minutes later and giving him away!

(But you did the right thing - if they're angry that's more on them than you - they should be grateful you cared!)

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