To expect him to put away his own things?

[FairyOnTheChristmasTree]

I live with my mum and her husband. I dislike him for various reasons and am looking to move out but we won't go into that today. He is Eastern European and men there in general do NO housework or childcare or cooking whatsoever. Now mums husband is in the UK, he does nothing here neither. And doesn't work. Just sits on the net or in front of the tv all day watching my mum slave after him. I refuse to unless I ask if he would like a cuppa etc.

My mum has hurt her back so she can't do his usual things for him which is everything. Fair Enough. I have a house to keep in order and I'm a very clean person.

Tonight I asked him to take up a shirt my mum had ironed for him to put away in his wardrobe as it had been sitting on the living door handle for days since it had been ironed but he had just plonked it over the cross trainer in the spare room. Would it be unreasonable of me to ask him to move his own things til my mum gets better and to put his damned clothes away so the spare room isn't messy? I hate my mum for doing things for him. He's like a dependant child but should I bow down to all his needs and demands?

thunk

{bangs head against wall]

move out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What the mildmanneredjanitor said

Did you read? I wrote that I am looking to move out. Hardly possible at the mo with the wage i'm on.

plus it's unlikely I can move out in the next few days isn't it???

sorry

Feckin awful for you then

You'll never change him though. Have you told your Mum how you feel about what she does. Maybe that's a conversation you should have after you move out. For now I would tell him to go and put them away and if he doesn't why don't you put it back in the wash and leave it there.

He sounds just like my ex ugh! Firstly I hope you can move asap as secondaly tell your Mum to get rid of the fecker!

Failing that, give him a wake up slap, tell him to get in the real world!

I spelt secondly wrong, feck!

Go and put it on top of him.

Sorry, my advice wasnt very constructive, speak to your Mum, ask her if she minds doing everything for him, if she says no (and she means it) then you're just going to have to A- grin and bare it and B- make sure YOU do nothing for him, if she says yes then maybe you could support her if she plucks up the courage to have a word with him?

Good luck.

There is no changing men like this (my Gdad is the same, not eastern european though)

You may have to resort to letting the housework go (tell your mum you're not prepared to run around after this man and she shouldn't have to either, no matter what he thinks women should/should not be doing)
If he's got any sense he'll realise that the place is a tip and he'll have to say something, at least! Then you can just tell him, he's in the year 2007 FFS!!!

Golly I'm on one tonight!!

It's difficult. No, you really shouldn't have to run around after him, but it's her house and you are staying there. They are married and really their dynamic is none of your business. Of course, he should get off his arse and help, especially with your mum having hurt her back, but you can't control that.

It's not unreasonable for you to expect a grown man to put his own bloody shirt in the wardrobe, no. But if it wasn't doing any harm in the spare room - if that's not the room you are in - then I'd leave it there, tbh, no point taking the argument to that degree of absurdity.

While your mother is out of action, can you stop doing stuff for him, or will that just mean your mother springs into action and does herself some damage?