Would you tell the mother?

[Greggers2017]

My dd is approaching 12 and about to start secondary school. 2 days ago I saw a message on her locked phone screen from one of her friends saying she was going to meet somebody.
When I questioned my daughter she informed me that her friend was going to meet up with a boy she had been talking too online. The friend has never met him before. I spoke to my daughter and explained it is a very dangerous thing to do and that I will inform the friends Mum if she does go to meet him.
Daughter spoke to her friend later that day and informed me that friend had changed her mind.
Fast forward to Just now, another friend has told my dd that first friend is going to meet the boy tomorrow. Do I got and inform the mother even though I don't know her? I would want someone to come tell me.

[JingsMahBucket]

@Greggers2017 glad you were able to get in touch with the mother. Hopefully there's time to intervene and your daughter's friend has a wake up call.

[supersop60]

Well done OP.

[AintNobodyHereButUsChickens]

Well done, glad you managed to contact the mum!

You just never know who anyone is over the internet. A video recently got posted to my towns Facebook page of a local man turning up to meet a 14yr old girl, and it was actually a vigilante group who detained him until the police arrived to take him away. The local man was my brothers ex FIL and grandfather of his two children

[FractalChaos]

Thing is, how do you word it? That would be my dilemma! I would mess it up!

Glad you managed to contact the mm though.

[Spotsandstars]

Please please tell her

[amusedbush]

@Spotsandstars

RTFT - OP did tell her.

[katewhinesalot]

So glad she is taking it so seriously.

[Greggers2017]

Had a lovely long chat with daughters friends Mum. She was very thankful for me telling her. We had friend here for a sleepover and she is coming along on our family day out tomorrow so she is not meeting said boy/man.
Mum is going to strongly monitor all her online activities going forward.

[Italiangreyhound]

Greggers2017 well done. Good result.

[poolblack]

I'm so glad you stepped in and told the other mum. Absolutely the right thing to do.

As a side note an acquaintance of mine through DD's hobby was telling me how her DD has a boyfriend that she met on snapchat and she was going to meet up with him in the city 40 minutes bus ride away this weekend. She is 14. Mum was all pleased her DD had a boyfriend and I was just stood there open mouthed at the absolute lack of awareness.

I did try to explain but was met with 'Ah, she will be fine'

[Drum2018]

Glad there has been a positive outcome. Her parents need a serious chat with her about online safety.

[Littlemeadow123]

Such a relief that her mum now knows and can now keep an eye on what her daughter gets up to online.

Seriously, never feel awkward about raising another parent's attention to a potential safeguarding issue, even if you are not 100% sure that there is something to worry about. If a mum does take it the wrong way, you have nothing to feel bad about. Children's and teenager's lives are more important plus you'd feel terrible if you didnt say anything and something bad happened.

In this case, you've most likely saved a child from something horrific so well done.

You can also report safeguarding issues to the child's school or the police. If a safeguarding situation arises where you feel like you genuinely cant approach a mum for whatever reason or you tell a mum and she doesnt take it seriously.

[nonicknameseemsavailable]

gosh yes absolutely the right thing telling the girl's mum. I have a daughter the same age and I would be horrified at the thought of her or her friends contacting people online and meeting up with them. I was at the shops in town a few weeks ago with my daughter and we saw 2 girls from her class there on there own (of course parents might actually have been nearby but we didn't see them) and DD was shocked they were on their own.

[EverTheConundrum]

Good work OP!

[Greggers2017]

I'm going to massively reinforce the dangers of talking to strangers online to my kids. Does anybody have any video links or any other information that I could use or that you'd recommend.

[Derektheelf]

You totally did the right thing. I would have been so grateful if I were that girls mum. So pleased it's worked out

[Jellybeansincognito]

Talking to strangers is fine, everyone is a stranger at some point.

There are ways of meeting people safely, I think saying a blank no, don’t do this will just lead to secrets.

Never go alone, always remain in a busy public area, confident enough to bow out if something feels off etc.

[Jellybeansincognito]

The videos are good too. But if you teach safety, your child will more than likely discuss this with you, and you can keep her safe rather than you enforcing an absolute no and then your child going behind your back.

[Nettie1964]

Please tell her. They met online it isn't safe. I would definitely want to know. 11/12 year old girls are not old enough to make sensible safe decisions. And definitely not old enough to have boyfriends they meet online.

[lmusic87]

Well done OP xx

[cacklingmags]

Yes tell her.
The 'boy' could be a nasty 40 year old.

[Loveyou3000]

Yes, your DD may be angry at you, but that's nothing compared to a mother's unending anguish if anything happens to that girl

[Loveyou3000]

Sorry just seen your update, well done

[Awwlookatmybabyspider]

There’s no choice question or discussion about it. The mum has to know. It could be sick predator for all anyone knows. I’m certainly, well I know for a fact. Any parent would want to know. Heaven forbid if something happened. You’d never forgive yourself