Would you tell the mother?

[Greggers2017]

My dd is approaching 12 and about to start secondary school. 2 days ago I saw a message on her locked phone screen from one of her friends saying she was going to meet somebody.
When I questioned my daughter she informed me that her friend was going to meet up with a boy she had been talking too online. The friend has never met him before. I spoke to my daughter and explained it is a very dangerous thing to do and that I will inform the friends Mum if she does go to meet him.
Daughter spoke to her friend later that day and informed me that friend had changed her mind.
Fast forward to Just now, another friend has told my dd that first friend is going to meet the boy tomorrow. Do I got and inform the mother even though I don't know her? I would want someone to come tell me.

[KUGA]

100% yes.
But dont tell your DD.<br /> Also dont give your name to the mother.
That way you can deny it as this could cause a problem with your DD and ruin her friendship with other dd.

[Lindormilk]

I don’t know why you are questioning it. Of course you tell her.

[JingsMahBucket]

@Greggers2017 if they’re not at home then call the mother. You likely have her info on WhatsApp, right? Actively do something instead of just waiting around. The daughter could be texting this boy and making arrangements during the family’s day out today.

[viques]

OP! The last line of your post is


I would want someone to come and tell me

There you go, you have answered your own question.

[bengalcat]

Yes tell her - the fact that your daughter has told you and given the go ahead would strongly suggest to me that my DD felt unease about this .

[Flower64]

Absolutely yes. the world tells us all that groomers hang around on gaming sites and online chat rooms in the hope of meeting kids. My daughter is 13 and isn't allowed to go and meet anyone that she doesn't personally know. I am sure the parents will be grateful for you letting them know.

[lmusic87]

Yes, how awful

[viques]

KUGA. The op clearly has a good, open relationship with her DD. Why would she want to start lying to her ? They have already discussed the situation, the DD was worried enough to confide in her mother about her worries , it's people normalising secrets and lies that makes it easier for online predators to worm their way into kids lives.

[TriciaH87]

If it was my child and another parent knew I would pray they told me. Its about the safety of the child.

[WhatTheWatersShowedMe]

Definitely tell the mother, this is very sinister.

[Italiangreyhound]

Greggers2017

"I will definitely contact the mother."

Great, have you done it and was it all OK. It is absolutely the best thing to do and shows your own dd that you are not afraid to do the right thing.

[Rachelle11]

Of course you tell her!!

[minibroncs]

Might not be a 42 year old man, might be an equally sinister 14, 15, or 16 year old targeting her.

The even greater danger in the latter case is that she may not even recognise how much of a threat he posed - a creepy adult paying an interest may not feel flattering and exciting, but an older teenager... "Oh but we're almost the same age and he says I'm so mature".

[veryboredtoday]

Yes, do tell. My oldest DD has had 2 such incidents where we've had to intervene. Luckily in both cases, they didn't live nearby - one was definitely dodgy, the other I'm not sure about but deleted it just in case. I keep an eye on her accounts just in case.

[SirVixofVixHall]

You are doing the right thing op, I hope you can get hold of her Mother.

[PinkSubscriber]

Yes tell the mum. Similar situation where a mum found out my dd had been meeting up with older man. She informed school who then rang me.

Sadly was too late for my dd however this man went to prison for a very long time!

[Herewego93]

No question. I watched this BBC documentary where a boy met up with a friend off online gaming and he slit the boys throat. :/

[Greggers2017]

Sorry been to pick DP up from work.
I have managed to get in touch with the Mum. I got her number from another Mum. She has thanked me for letting her know and she is going to give me a call later this evening when they are home.
My daughter knew I was going to tell the mother from the moment I saw the message.

[IamtheDevilsAvocado]

Definitely contact the mother.


Also most young girls are very very vulnerable to grooming... As they just dont have the maturity to judge what is 'ok'..
Also they don't knke how bloody sky3/underhand these people are...

One case I was involved in... The :15 year old' who the girl was meeting...of course was a 40 + year old man... So, he pretended he was 15 year old's father... Luckily police got him before anything too awful happened.... (as naturally boys father was taking her to meet the lad)

[IamtheDevilsAvocado]

Often these men are very practised and believable...

[Missingstreetlife]

Don't text, fb etc. She may not get message in time. Speak to her by phone or preferably face to face. If no luck or she doesn't protect, social services , nspcc or police. They should be informed anyway.

[Missingstreetlife]

Xpôst. Well done op

[Missingstreetlife]

Keep the message for evidence

[Greggers2017]

I've also had a chat with my neighbour on advice, in case it ever happens with my children. She is a social worker as reassured me I had done the right thing.

[VenusOfWillendorf]

Really glad you were able to get hold of the mother.
Also good that your daughter knew you were doing this, and how seriously you took it. Hopefully it would make her think twice before considering it herself.