To not know what to make of this memory (possible trigger warning -child abuse)

[SunnyIn]

For the past two years or so I keep having a flashback sort of memory of being at my friend's house when I was probably no older than 6/7 and seeing her mum beating her brother in the other room. To the point where I distinctively remember him bleeding.

I don't know if I told anyone, I don't think that I did.

I honestly don't know what to think, this only came back to me because my old friend popped up on a 'people you may know' on Facebook but I now think about it all the time.

I don't know whether to trust my brain about what I saw given it was so long ago and because it was so long ago, should I just keep it to myself now? The brother involved would be an adult now and I don't know what realistically saying anything would do.

The mother was friends with my mum (my mum was not like that at all!) And so I definitely don't think I said anything at the time otherwise I know my mum wouldn't have continued her friendship.

I guess it just keeps playing on my mind and I'm not sure what to do with it.

Bump

Talk to your mum. You can then decide what you want to do. This will have been very traumatising for a small child to watch and it may be that some therapy will help you.

Only speaking from my own experience, I have dreams from childhood that I was convinced were true for a long time, some not nice, like my gentle, kind and very docile aunts trying to throw me out a massionet window, looking at the evidence this is completely unlikely and they never lived in a massionet though I still "remember" it. Recovered memories are a controversial topic with many different theories around the topic. Is your mum around to talk it through with? She might remember more about your friends parenting style, is it likely that the mum would have beat her child in front of a friend's child to such an extent? I'm not saying it wouldn't happen but just you probably need to look at the evidence for yourself.

That sounds like a really scary thing to see as a young child OP and I'm sorry that it has come back and is playing over in your mind, I'm not surprised that you feel conflicted about what to do.

I think that talking about these things is really important. PPs suggestion if talking to your mum sounds good, as she has a 'link' to the abusive mum. And of course if you have a DP then I'd just sound it out with them if you can. You could also book a session with a local counsellor/therapist and speak with them too about what you remember and how to process it. Even if you feel like you're just repeating yourself I feel that speaking about it is the best way forward.

In my opinion I don't think there anything gained from speaking to the brother, or that there is really anything you should 'do' as it were. It will probably cause further upset and won't fix anything in my opinion. What you saw was wrong and you know that and I'm sure it's not behaviour that you would repeat.

When people have a trauma, or in your case remember a traumatic memory, it plays over and over in our mind as a way of understanding and breaking down what happened. You might find that after time has passed this memory is on your mind less and you find some closure in the situation.

I hope you find some peace with it all soon OP and even if you just write out on here, or privately at home on some paper, about what you remember and how you feel about it, I believe this would help you process the memory.

In the majority of scientific studies, repressed memories are shown to be false memories, with people, albeit with no malice intended, misremembering what actually happened.

If you are sure of what you remember and simply forgot it over time, then perhaps it is worth talking through with someone, but short of speaking to the injured party to corroborate, it might be best leaving it be.

Yes that's the thing really, I don't know whether to trust that it's true.

Maybe I will speak to my mum next time I see her and see what she thinks.

I can't remember exactly why I saw it but I think I wasn't supposed to, I don't know.

It just seems so specific. I can remember where she hit him and where he was bleeding from etc... It's scary if it really is my brain just making it up!