I have a partner I've been with almost 8 years now. We lived together for a few years and I moved away for a job a year and a half ago now as the area we lived in had very few jobs in the industry I work in. The plan was that after a year he'd come join me where I was. Well now the time has come he has decided he doesn't want to do that anymore. Half his team are in an office nearby where I am and it's easy for him to transfer to that office but he just doesn't want to do it as he's "not a fan of the area". I wish he would have told me this when we discussed our plans last year. I'm not even sure what to do now. I was hoping after 8 years we could start to settle down properly but he's now made it very clear he "doesn't see himself ever getting married", he wants to "stay where he is" and he "doesn't ever want kids".
Trouble is I think he might be feeling a bit depressed so I'm wondering if that's contributing to his decisions. It's been a hard year being a 3 hour journey away from eachother and now I don't know what to do next. Tbh I'm kinda tired of feeling like I'm a low priority to him. There's been a few occasions this past year where I've been made to feel like this, things like him planning to come see me after a few weeks of not seeing eachother then cancelling last minute because he "can't be arsed", or him literally forgetting we even had plans to see eachother and me having to remind him. Here's me the mug counting down the days till I can see him and he just...forgets...because "he's been stressed and busy". I've given him the benefit of the doubt and been thinking it'll all pass when he moves back in with me but now doesn't seem like that will happen. I asked him whether he wants to be with me anymore and he's replied repeatedly with a firm yes but he's ok with it being long distance.
Now guess what, I can't be arsed with it all. I've kinda gotten to the stage where I feel abandoned and feel like he can p*ss right off. At the same time I love him and I'm worried about his apparent depression. I convinced him to go see a councillor but he quit after a couple of sessions because he said it was a waste of time. I feel like I can't help him anymore as I'm barely physically with him. I have no idea what his future plans are because he admits he has none and I'm just done with it all now. He doesn't see the problem with carrying on as is. I almost feel like I abandoned him now by moving away and it's all my fault but we discussed our plans clearly before I did it and he was fine with it. Ugh.