Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think ive left it too late

27 replies

MerryXmasNoelle · 20/08/2019 22:28

33 with a young child. Separated 6 months ago. im watching Kathy Burke and shes talking about menopausal and biological clocks. Ive realised im probably never going to have another child

OP posts:
TheZeppo · 20/08/2019 22:30

Some of us are 38, childless and single but still hopeful Smile

AnneLovesGilbert · 20/08/2019 22:31

YAprobablyBU

CalmAndQuiet · 20/08/2019 22:31

Had my youngest at 38.

edwinbear · 20/08/2019 22:32

33 you still have time. I had my first at 34, second at 36. One of my NCT group had her 2nd at 43.

NoBaggyPants · 20/08/2019 22:32

Completely unreasonable. You've got plenty of time.

Original poster
MerryXmasNoelle · 20/08/2019 22:33

ive got fertility issues and unlikely to meet anyone else

OP posts:
C0untDucku1a · 20/08/2019 22:33

You have time. Get proactive

growlingbear · 20/08/2019 22:34

Had my first at 39.

Timmytoo · 20/08/2019 22:34

I was 39 in a bad relationship (not abusive). My ex left me, that very night I met the man of my dreams and three months later I fell pregnant - expecting in 4 months. Getting married next September. Weird things happen sometimes!

Original poster
MerryXmasNoelle · 20/08/2019 22:42

I'm definitely not meeting just anyone though

OP posts:
Poolbridge · 20/08/2019 22:58

I have fertility issues. Had first at 38 and having second at 40. You likely have still a good 3-8 years for a second if you so wish it

Riv · 20/08/2019 23:00

You deserve a good partner and there are some out there and you are more likely to meet one now than you were when you were with your baby’s dad.
You do have time. I didn’t meet my children’s dad until I was about your age.

But if you don’t, will it really be so bad? I know it won’t be easy but you can enjoy life with “just” your small family. You have a LO to care for and the freedom to do it without the difficulties that living with your ex would have brought.

MT2017 · 20/08/2019 23:02

Get proactive

GrinGrin

Alb1 · 20/08/2019 23:05

Seems daft to decide you will never meet another partner, even if your circumstances don’t allow right now that may change in a few years, and if that is unlikely, make them change!

MoaningMinnie1 · 20/08/2019 23:08

You don't know that, MerryXmasNoelle. Having an early menopause is not the norm and loads of people have babies in their thirties - even some who have fertility problems. However you have to meet someone first! I hope you do find a decent chap, also that you have some fun.

Always remember, the child you already have is a great blessing.

Good luck.
Flowers

wigglybluelines · 20/08/2019 23:12

I know two single women who had babies by donor because they felt they were running out of time and never met the right guy. This is always an option if you'd really like a second child.

IfThisWasOurHouse · 20/08/2019 23:18

Your biggest block will be your mindset. If yoube convinced yourself you're on the scrap heap and never going to meet anyone again, you could miss the man of your dreams if you met him tomorrow

ArgumentativeAardvaark · 20/08/2019 23:24

Having only separated 6 months ago you can’t imagine a new relationship. It’s too soon. A LOT can happen in a few years though. At your age I was 3 years out of a failed long term relationship- no kids- and I spent the next 5 years single and increasingly depressed. Met DH at 38 and DS was born when I was 43. I too had fertility issues, no idea if I already had them in my thirties. DS was IVF but it worked quite quickly.

You’re in a much better position than someone your age single with no kids and wanting a family.

justbeingadad · 20/08/2019 23:25

@MerryXmasNoelle

I'm a guy so....

You've got a child. That's a lot more than a lot of people have. Be thankful (I'm not suggesting you aren't).

You're young, maybe you can have more children. If you can't, maybe you can meet someone who already has a younger child. It's not the same, but maybe it would meet the same goal (if it's you want your child to have a sibling).

Being hung up about wanting another child is not healthy for your child.

Enjoy what you have. It's a lot more than a lot of people.

PicsInRed · 20/08/2019 23:29

You have easily 10, possibly up to 20 reproductive years left.

When I put it like that, you should be crushed at the contraception years that groan before you. 😉

Fertility issues notwithstanding, if the issue isn't premature menopause, you'll be fine.

MollysMummy2010 · 20/08/2019 23:58

Had first at 38 (by one month) and got pregnant first month of trying after being on the pill for more than twenty years. 47 now and in been in peri-meno for about four years so glad I tried when I did. The time was just never right before.

cockcrowfarm · 21/08/2019 06:33

Yup, pretty ur! You have plenty of time to meet someone. I agree with pp be happy with what you have and get proactive!

BanginChoons · 21/08/2019 06:39

I'm single with kids. If I wanted another I would use a donor.

chuttypicks · 21/08/2019 07:15

I met my partner at 35, had my first dc at 38 and am pregnant again now aged 39. You've got plenty of time. You'll be fine. 🙂

PoodleJ · 21/08/2019 07:29

To be honest you won’t know until you’re in the situation of trying so there’s not much point in making yourself miserable.
There’s always going to be lots of anecdotal stories about people having kids in their 40’s. You might end up being one of them or you might not.
Try to live more in the moment and make yourself happy with what you already have. Later if you meet someone else and have more children then it’s an absolute bonus.
Best of luck with getting what you want out of life.