To give cash as a gift in a Muslim wedding?

[minababelina]

I’m delighted to have been invited by a neighbour to the the wedding of their daughter. I asked about a gift list and was told that they don’t accept gifts (not those exact words) but there would be a box in the evening where we could put a card in. There was no mention of money but I obviously would like to give them a gift. I thought about 100 pounds in cash but then thought it could be lost so maybe a check or voucher would be more appropriate. Any advice of what is expected in a Muslim wedding? Thank you!

It’s cash - any way you like it! £100 is very generous for a neighbour though, unless you know them well.

Usually people give cash gifts - the usual amount is £20.00 upwards. £100.00 is very generous.

Thank you! They are quite close as our boys are really good friends. And they are also very generous. The other day I knocked on their door to collect my son and mentioned the lovely smell of food coming out of their house... a couple of hours later they sent us amazing snacks... or they’ve brought souvenirs to neighbours from trips...that kind of kind people. I think I would give them a voucher as I’m concerned cash could go missing and a cheque might be a bit imposing with my signature there... And would know whether wearing black is OK? I have a long black dress with short sleeves that I thought would be appropriate.. thank you again!

Have you been invited to the wedding or just the reception?

If it's the wedding, short sleeves won't be appropriate in the mosque.

If it's just the reception, I normally wear long sleeves anyway otherwise you can look a bit out of place but only you know the family and how 'formal' or not they are about these things.

As for the money, just pop it in a card and put it through their front door if you're worried about it going missing at the wedding/reception.

Loose clothing that covers you and doesn't cling is probably appropriate. Also take a scarf to cover your head. If you're friendly enough with your neighbours to be invited to a family wedding, just ask them about clothes as they'll understand that if you're not a Muslim you might not be familiar with appropriate dress.

I'd have thought £30-50 in cash would be about right.

I would definitely put the cash in a card, it won't go missing don't worry.
That's the usual custom.. to pop money in a card.
£100 is very generous

We went to a Muslim wedding celebration recently . The couple had already married and this was a sit down meal and photo opportunity for 120 guests ( a mixture of both extended families, colleagues, friends and neighbours). I asked in advance about the dress code and wore long sleeves but didn’t cover my head.
There was a special box ( like a ballot box) for cards beside a book for guests to comment. We gave £40.

I don't really think the amount of money matters to be honest.

Just like any other wedding, you give what you can comfortably afford.

Thanks, everyone!! We were invited for the reception only and, yes, I’ll ask about dress code.

Hi OP, I’m Muslim (and Pakistani to be specific) and our wedding invitations always say no boxed gifts. Usually we give cards with either money or gift vouchers inside, usually for John Lewis, Debhenams or other similar shops. For a friend or neighbour I would give about £50 although if you’re comfortable giving £100 by all means go for it. If your neighbours family is anything like mine, they’ll keep a mental note of how much you gave and then at another occasion of yours (wedding, birthday party etc) you’ll find they’ve given the £100 back as a gift for you anyway!

Money, cheque or voucher is fine in a card. Enjoy the wedding.

I would give cash. You don’t need to cover your head. A lot of Muslim weddings aren’t held in the mosque anyway so you wouldn’t be needing to cover your head. Wearing black should be fine. I believe it’s Hindu weddings where black is frowned upon. I would just ask the neighbours what would be appropriate to wear....not sure about the short sleeves as I’ve never been to one. It might be fine if a non Muslim wears short sleeves? Every Muslim family are different so just check with them what is appropriate.

Money. On the invitation you will probably see 'No boxed gifts' in a corner. There's usually a table with someone in charge who takes the money and writes in a book, or you could enclose a cheque in a card.
I hope you have a good time, such weddings are usually lovely with marvellous food. No alcohol of course (though some do serve it discreetly, depends how devout they are).

Last Muslim wedding I went to, no gifts or expectations of gifts. No head coverings. Just a very good time with lots of amazing food,.

Hi OP. Lovely of you to be so thoughtful.
Muslim here.

I personally don't think your neighbors would mind if you wore a modest dress with short sleeves, many Muslim girls and women choose not to cover their heads and often wear short sleeved dresses.

I invited numerous non Muslim friends to my wedding and they all wore different things, some wore dresses, others midi skirts with tights and a nice top, and a couple bought simple Asian outfits and accessories and all looked lovely.

Your neighbors sound like the type of people who will just be happy for you to attend and do their utmost to make you feel welcome and comfortable.

Just wear what you have, and I doubt they would expect you to cover your head or be worried about short sleeves especially as you are invited to the party and not the religious ceremony in a place of worship. You could always take a shrug or cardigan and put it on/take it off if you feel more comfortable.

£100 is very generous. If you can comfortably afford that, great, otherwise anything from £20-50 would be fine.

Enjoy the wedding!

If you feel more comfortable giving the envelope to your neighbour in person then do so, they won’t mind and they will have a bag ready to take any cards. Make sure you don’t give it to the boy’s side

£100 is quite generous, and is in line with what family members give. Average is £50 for friends/neighbours.

I've been to some Muslim weddings where cash was pinned onto the bride or thrown over the couple like confetti as they danced! And other Muslim weddings where there's a table in the corner and somebody in charge of looking after the cash. Most people just put the cash in the card?

I'd put £50 in an envelope and just hand it in or give it to the bride's parents. Don't give vouchers, that would be odd! £100 might be seen as overfamiliar as that's the amount aunts/uncles/cousins tend to give.

Wear long sleeves, leggings under your dress and drape a pashmina over your shoulders (in case you need to cover your hair eg in the mosque.) Or just ask your neighbor, some weddings the women party separately so you can wear whatever you like at the after party!

Thank you all again! Interesting points about 100 possibly being seen as overfamiliar or leading them to try to return it in some way. Like a gift that might become a bit of a burden... will go for 50 instead. Wedding is this weekend. Looking forward!

I went to a Muslim wedding. I gave photograph frames as a gift - had no idea 'boxed gifts' were frowned upon, though I saw the Muslim guests give cash. (Why are they frowned upon?). We were two of only 6 non Muslim guests)

No one's point out that it's nothing to do with being muslim (religion), it's cultural (asian/indian/pakistani), surely?

@StoneofDestiny It's really just preference, as opposed to frowned upon.
Like those who prefer gift-lists, or those who thick gift lists are a no-no.

Agreed, it's cultural, not religions @GreatOne

@StoneofDestiny boxed gifts are not frowned upon at all. Cash is the cultural norm but a boxed gift is received with the same gratitude.

I'm a Muslim. Although a gift isn't expected at all for weddings, people most give cash. They can then but what they need instead of having random things. Cash is totally the norm. An aunt may give £100, an older sibling might give £300, the neighbour or a friend or distant relative may give £10, £20 (very common) or £30.
That said none of the above is even expected but

Also to add about your neighbours being generous, I think we are the same with our neighbours, giving food and gifts etc but that is what we are taught to do in Islam with no expectation for anything back. My neighbours do not send us food as we can't eat it etc. £100 in that sense doesn't seem bad but honestly even if you gave £20 that would seem like a lot.

This is an old post, but I just wanted to confirm:

No one's point out that it's nothing to do with being muslim (religion), it's cultural (asian/indian/pakistani), surely?

This is completely incorrect.

Indian and Pakistani weddings can be vastly different. Even within each country, religion and region play a huge role in shaping the celebrations.

For example, Sikh weddings are very different from Hindu weddings. Punjabi weddings bear little resemblance to Tamil weddings. Muslim weddings can also vary greatly depending on the region.

A common misconception is that the Indian subcontinent shares one uniform culture—but that’s far from the truth. Each region has its own distinct traditions, cuisine, language, and religious practices.