Kids staying up late

[Letsgetreadytorumbleagain]

I keep reading on here 'it's the holidays, kids can stay up later etc', almost laughing at posters who say their children go to bed at 7:30 etc.

If my children go to bed later, even on holiday, they still wake at the same time the next day. At which point they are awful to deal with because they are so tired.

I know not everyone is the same, and I would never complain but I hear other children still playing in their gardens at 8 o'clock at night and I wish my children could cope with that and I wasn't the bad parent putting them to bed 'early'

AIBU to expect others to understand that not all children can stay up late?

If your kids went to bed at 10 for 3 nights in a row, they might give you a lie in.

Absolutely. Even if I kept mine up they’d still wake up early so what’s the point? 🤣 I like routine so do the kids so bedtime is still pretty much the same as school nights. We are up and about early so plenty of hours to do things before bed!

Each to their own of course. When I was a child my mum was opposite. She was a terrible morning person and would keep us up later every night (even on school she nights) so we’d lie in. Bugger that!

Kids are up really late where I live. I can hear them out playing until it’s dark. When it was still light until 10pm they’d be out playing. Fortunately my kids sleep through it!

I always liked an evening without very young children, so held firm to a reasonable bedtime. Late nights were a rare treat.

How old are they? Mine couldn’t cope when they were little but there came a point where they’d lie in or at least not be grumpy due to less sleep.
I also don’t have to get up if they wake early any more, it’s their own problem!

YANBU. DD was like yours for about 4 years and now is the other type. I get it.(fuck me I get it,especially since she had a particularly delightful phase of not wanting to go to bed either so it was 12am -5am,fun times).

But on the other side of the coin,people whose kids won't sleep in or they haven't even tried are sneery at the " let them stay up later" posters, with thinly veiled accusations of neglect or subpar care thrown in.

Exactly, mine are up at the same time whenever they go to bed. Just grumpier! Also I’ve just bloody managed 12 hours of entertaining, I want to eat my dinner and sit down at 7:30! Why should I have to drag out another 2 hours of entertaining them?

DD woke up at 10 this morning

I've just started letting DS who is 5 stay up half an hour later and he's been waking up around 7.30 so when he goes back to school he will be going back to his original time so he's up early enough

Of course yanbu.

Equally, not all DC need that much sleep, DSs perfect sleep time is 9pm-7am. (10-13h is the 'normal' range for his age. Not all DC need exactly 12h sleep)

Whenever we let DD have a late night, we pay for it the next day. At that point we realise "oh yeah, this is why we're usually strict about bedtimes"
Some kids really benefit from routine. I don't see anything wrong in that.

I think it depends on their age - up until 5 or 6 I would keep it the same. 7+ I would give them an extra hour or so, bearing in mind they will also sleep in later.

YANBU but surely you want them to be able to handle the occasional late night for special occasions? Weddings, family events etc our friends' child is an absolute horror if his routine isn't stuck to completely rigidly and he's now nine, they've missed so many special events, or just one of them goes and they did this from a very young age so of course he needs a rigid routine, it's all he's ever had. DS goes to bed around 7-7:30 every night after a bath, but we do still take him out in the evening if necessary. He can sleep in the pram or more likely fall asleep on the way home, straight into PJs and have a bit of a lie in the next day. It's got to be a bit flexible.

YANBU - when my 2 were younger they got an extra half an hour on weekends and school holidays - any more than that an the next day was hell! They're a bit older now so are allowed to play out or in their own rooms untill later in the school hols and they tend to sleep later in the morning so works well for all of us

We are more relaxed about bedtimes in the holidays but generally not to the point of staying up much later, maybe 15-20 minutes or so. Like yours OP, she gets up at the same time no matter when she goes to bed and like me she is hideous if she doesn’t get enough sleep.

I totally agree, too many don’t see how important sleep is for children. I don’t care if they keep theirs up later, but don’t judge me for having a strict bedtime for my 10 year old.

Its taken my kids 4 weeks to eventually start sleeping in, and its only till 7.45 the latest. I'm lucky to work term time so started keeping them up later since we finished school. I just no on our 1st day back at work and school i will have to wake them up.

I think it also depends on the kids. If you have kids that need entertaining and your attention every single minute up to bed time,of course you'd be unwilling to prolong it.

DD however is more than happy to play,read a book,watch a movie ,play on her ipad etc and we don't even see her except for the pitter patter of feet going to the toilet or wanting a random cuddle. Her being up late doesn't cut into our evenings or chill time.

Up until this summer mine were always in bed by 8.30 and the latest and awake by 7.30, but I've let them stay up later as they've asked and they've shocked me and their dad by sleeping in until 10. They're nearly 9 though so I definitely feel for them it's due to their age, as you said if they ever stayed up late previously at special events etc they would have still woken up at the usual holiday time and been dreadful. I have been explaining to them that next week they'll be going to bed slightly earlier every night so they adjust to early nights and early mornings ready for going back to school.

I completely get it though OP x

“If your kids went to bed at 10 for 3 nights in a row, they might give you a lie in.”

I can confirm, after keeping my 2 children up until after 10pm every night for last 2 weeks on holiday and them still waking up at 530 EVERY morning, that this does not always happen. They just get grumpier and grumpier

It does depend enormously on the age of the kids though, and also their personality.
ds was always awake at 7, from age 5 weeks, to age 12 years and 11 months.
He turned 13 and started sleeping in!
dd1 has never been a morning person and has always been able to slepe in if she is tired.
dd2 is 11, so far she wakes at 6:30 every day. In the holidays she has often been up until 10-10:30. She 'lies in' until 7 or 7:30.never later. It will be interesting to see what happens when she hits 13!

But the biggest advantage as they get older is that you teach them not to wake you up, so you can have a lie in!

We have had special occasions ie a family wedding or party where they have stayed up later, but the wake up was the same which makes for a particularly awful day.

I would like to let my DS (6) stay up sometimes for films or just as a treat but he just can't handle less sleep and will always wake around 6am. I do feel horrible, but I don't need other people - including family - making me feel worse because 'he misses out'

Plus I would love to have him sleep past 6! I hate having to wake that early when we don't need to 

I don’t think anyone really much cares what time someone else on Mumsnet puts their kids to bed unless that person is posting an aggrieved AIBU about how everyone else around them should have to schedule their own day around their child’s 7pm bedtime. Those are the only times when I see people saying ‘Can’t they stay up a bit later for once?’ or ‘Surely you can be a bit more flexible in the holidays just to accommodate [whatever thing the poster insists is absolutely out of the question because it would mean DC went to bed slightly later than usual one night]?” or “No, your neighbours shouldn’t have to curtail their outdoor drinks at 7pm because your child is in bed and needs complete silence.”

Unless the posters themselves are making an issue out of it, I don’t think anyone else really gives a toss.

My children are never tired. We rarely get tired behaviour and if we do it’s later the next evening, not all day

My children always get up at the same time too, but luckily that’s about 7am

I hate missing out on light evenings, just spending them putting kids to bed. I'd rather enjoy them with the kids. Running about in the garden at 8pm in the Summer holidays is one of the joys of being a kid isn't it?

Yes poetry! It really is

I'm not sure what you aibu is? To expect others to understand? Pretty sure no one cares let alone understands. Put your kids to bed whenever you want.