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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask what the most passive aggressive thing is that OH has done?

18 replies

hibiscus71 · 20/08/2019 17:17

NC so not outing.
What is the most passive aggressive thing that your OH has done recently?
I can think of 2 fine examples this week.

Example 1:
OH shouts through - Only 3 of us can have dinner tonight as there are only 3 clean plates
Hibiscus71: Sorry! I forgot to wash up! (having washed up every other morning/evening this holiday, nose in book)

Example 2:
OH adjusting the settings on the washing machine mid-wash as OH wants to wash at 40 degrees (whereas hibiscus71 KNOWS that OH clothes need a 60 wash). Dear Reader, we went through 3 CHANGES IN WASH SETTINGS requiring the wash to start again 3 times!

OP posts:
kitk · 20/08/2019 17:21

I don't really understand why your answers weren't 1. I only washed the dishes x hours ago so please take a turn so all of us can eat... 2. Your clothes need a hotter wash cos of stains/ smells/ misc reason but you're welcome to do your own washing in future if you don't agree with my way?

My DH will sometimes rewash the dishes if he thinks I've not done them well enough. I let him and suggest going halves on a dishwasher in the new house

EKGEMS · 20/08/2019 17:21

Is is passive aggressive or just someone acting a fool?

iklboo · 20/08/2019 17:25

OH shouts through - Only 3 of us can have dinner tonight as there are only 3 clean plates

Iklboo shouts back: Well fucking wash some then. They're not DNA coded to me.

sheshootssheimplores · 20/08/2019 17:26

Honestly my DP never does this. He gets in a strop and can stomp about being an almighty PITA, but he has never been PA.

RogersVideo · 20/08/2019 17:33

Hmm well DH teases me, but he's pretty chill so there isn't any aggression in it.

I'm the one more likely to be passive aggressive but I try not to, its something I did more when I was younger.

I think it's not great behaviour. The plates incident was quite rude. You should have left him to his laundry though.

CaptainJaneway62 · 20/08/2019 17:40

You should have said we have already voted that you're the one that's not eating so don't you worry your tiny mite sized brain about us you plonker!

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 20/08/2019 17:42

DH tried pa behaviour once in our relationship. He had a hissy fit about something really minor - I can't even remember what it was now.
Anyway he stomped out and drove off.
A while later I tried to phone him, no answer. Tried again and again, then got a text "go away my phone is broken" and he switched it off.
So I took a taxi to hospital to miscarry.
When I got home quite some time after him, we had a "come to Jesus" meeting and neither of us has ever been pa since. We learned a hard lesson that day.

SignedUpJust4This · 20/08/2019 17:45

I told. My dH my NY resolution was to be less passive aggressive. He said he longed for 'passive' aggressive!

iklboo · 20/08/2019 17:47

@PomBearWithAnOFRS Thanks

Shoxfordian · 20/08/2019 17:47

No examples because my dh isn't a dickhead
Sorry

Original poster
hibiscus71 · 20/08/2019 17:50

Haha these have made me laugh apart from PomBearWithAnOFRS and I'm really sorry to read your post bless you.

I can see why people think I SHOULD have retaliated or at least passed sarcastic comment ... I was holding it together by a thread and trying really hard not to start or be involved in a holiday argument for the kids sake. Normally I don't take any nonsense from anyone.

Do keep the tales coming!

OP posts:
TheHodgeoftheHedge · 20/08/2019 17:52

I wouldn’t really describe those as passive aggressive. More just being a dick.

Biancadelrioisback · 20/08/2019 17:53

My DH threw out the toothpaste lid once....was years ago and he was in a proper strop thanks to lack of sleep (neighbours in a flat had a new born, their bedroom backed on to ours and their bed head backed on to ours). He had enough and I told him off for not putting the lid back on, so he threw it out when he was next in the bathroom.

We laugh about it now...

Yabbers · 20/08/2019 18:00

Only 3 of us can have dinner tonight as there are only 3 clean plates

That’s not passive aggressive. Thanks being a lazy, misogynistic twat. OH would just wash the plates. If he did ever say it I’d tell him he was going hungry. Then point him to the door.

Yabbers · 20/08/2019 19:04

I’m also confused. Isn’t passive aggression more for strangers or colleagues you aren’t close with? Passive aggression in a relationship is quite unhealthy isn’t it?

73Sunglasslover · 20/08/2019 19:32

Answer to 1 - yes, the kids and I are fine for dinner. I don't mind saving some for you if you want to wash yourself a plate.

Answer to 2 - I really think your clothes need washing at 60 degrees as otherwise they still smell bad afterwards Do you see it differently?

onanothertrain · 20/08/2019 19:38

I don't think that's PA. Example 2 you're as bad as each othe, let him wash his clothes at whatever temperature he likes.

BlueSkiesLies · 20/08/2019 19:40

Yeah. No. Don’t get this.

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