The Salad Bowl

[ThinkGlow]

DH and I have been invited to a BBQ by acquaintance-type friends next month. We're not close to them but hope to be, they're lovely. But we're quite different finance and upbringing wise (relevant). I'm Aldi, they're Harrods.

As I always would do, I've offered to bring wine/chocs and what I'd call a posh salad (feta/cous cous/pine nuts naice enough?!) and they said that'd be great.

Then I realised I couldn't possibly use the plastic 30p Wilkos mixing bowl that I usually use to house a salad. I'm pretty sure I'd spontaneous combust with shame offering my homemade salad in a plastic, battered and well used, bowl. So I've bought a posh one.

But what's the take-back etiquette?! I have zero knowledge of how to use a teaspoon correctly never mind what the correct/non-offensive way of taking back my salad bowl would be. But I do want to take it home. I spent too much on it to donate it to them

Do I take it back with whatever is left in it? Or sort of empty the contents for them?! How can this not be done awkwardly?!

Help.

Don’t think anyone would expect you to leave a naice bowl so don’t worry

On another note, nobody can make you feel inferior accept yourself.

They'll probably give it back next time if it's not all eaten. Don't stress so much, if they're really lovely then it'll be fine.

I wouldn’t bring the naice bowl personally, I’d just bring the salad in a Tupperware and the hosts can decant into a nicer serving bowl when you get there.

They will likely return the bowl next time they see you.
If they don't you can always ask for your posh bowl.

If there are tons of leftovers at the point you are leaving, and your hosts aren't around to ask, I would have no shame taking the leftovers and bowl together. If it has been raved over by your hosts, then ask if they want the salad and find a bowl to decant it into. BBQs are meant to be relaxed and informal, don't overthink it, and have a great time!

Why are these things so fraught!

Ask them in advance. 'Have the salad ready for x day, shall I bring it in tupperware for you to use your own salad bowl?'

Take their lead.

Just ask at the end if they want to keep the leftovers and give the bowl back when they've finished, or if they'd rather you took it all away for them.

My friend is amazing at this! It’s the perfect solution.

When you leave or if the host lifts the bowl when it’s empty, you say “don’t worry about washing up that bowl Janet, I’ll get Dave to stick it in the car just now”

If there’s anything left in the bowl you add “will anyone have anymore? It’s there to be eaten”

You look so thoughtful but you have your bowl back. Use your own names though

Use your own names though

I couldn’t just take the bowl - hopefully they will say ‘here’s your bowl’ or give you it next time. Even though this bowl is precious 😂 it would make you look very very precious over the bowl emptying it’s contents and stuffing it in your bag 😂 personally I would find you odd, or that you might think I’m untrustworthy. But, I myself am odd.

Just say when you go home "I'd like to take my bowl back with me, have you a dish I can pop these leftovers in?"

Also, if to have other people's bowl (naice or otherwise) cluttering up my house so I'd probably be on the watch out yo give people their things back when they leave.

Eat all the leftover salad and just take the bowl back.

If empty, take the bowl. Your hosts won’t have thought of it as a gift and it saves them the hassle of clearing, washing, and returning it.

If not empty, ask if they’d like to keep the rest and can they provide Tupperware or other storage. Bring your own takeaway tub to leave it in and make the transfer yourself if you’d like, again it’s one less thing the hosts need to do.

It’s not odd in the slightest to have food contribution storage rearranged at the end of pot luck style BBQ, ffs.

Take the salad in a different container, one that you wouldn't mind if you lost it. Get a cheap & cheerful one from the supermarket, all the picnic ware is on sale just now.
You can't spend your time at the party worrying about your nice bowl.... will it be dropped... will someone take it by mistake etc.

Don't go over the top in what you take, wine would be fine for just a BBQ. I'd take wine & chocolates or flowers to a dinner party.

I wouldn’t bring the naice bowl personally, I’d just bring the salad in a Tupperware and the hosts can decant into a nicer serving bowl when you get there.

This.

But if you do take the bowl, it's perfectly normal to ask for it when you leave. They may already have washed it up and have it waiting, or if there's some left, you could suggest they put the leftovers in a container to keep.

Posh people (are they posh or just wealthy?) and wealthy people are just people. Treat them the way you would anyone else and stop worrying what they think of you.

When you leave, just pick up the bowl and take it. It's not a gift, I doubt anyone would think anything of it.

I'm sure they are very nice people and will make very nice friends. So don't tie yourself up in knots over this. They arent going to mind you picking up your bowl ( which will probably be empty as the contents sound lovely). Seriously though if you are getting worked up over a bbq salad how on earth are you going to cope with dinner parties, dining out and so on.

@flashingbeacon what a good approach!

Can we see the bowl?

Never before in my life have I felt the need to ask for a picture of a salad bowl. What’s wrong with me? :)

Personally I wouldn't take the bowl or ask for it as I left - unless it was offered to me or as PP suggests there is an opportune time to pop it into the car.

I would expect the host to return it to you at
A later time generally as assuming a nice meal/drinks/chatting I wouldn't expect any of you to be thinking of the salad bowl.

If you are worried about it buy a cheap but smart Pyrex bowl or plastic bowl that you won't grieve for!

Whilst your DH is saying his goodbyes to everybody in the garden, run inside and start a fire. Run back outside, declare said fire and when everyone is distracted grab the naice salad bowl and run.

100% take the salad in a tuppaware (it's also going to stay fresher that way).

Keep fancy bowl for special occasions?

It's absolutely fine to take your bowl with you when you leave OP, don't worry about it. For all they know you might be entertaining yourself the next day.