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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask for more help?

4 replies

babyno2cooking · 20/08/2019 15:11

I'm currently 26 weeks pregnant and work 16 hours a week, which is split over 3 days. OH works full time, and we have 2yo son. I've always done everything with only working part time such as washing, cleaning and cooking. Recently I've been struggling more as I'm just so tired, and constantly battling back pains. I've ask OH if he can help our more with housework and he thinks I'm been unreasonable. I ask him if simple tasks could be done whilst I'm working and I always come home to nothing done or an excuse that he didn't have time because of our demanding 2yo. Which my response is, "yes so do I when you're working but I still get things done", he's always moaning I get behind on washing but does nothing to help me. I never have the energy to do washing on days I work as I work in retail and on my feet for the whole time I work. I just feel really down and stressed about it because I thought he'd like to help me out now I'm struggling but he still can't see past the fact that I only work part time so should be doing everything Sad

I don't know maybe I am being a bit selfish because I know he works really hard for us and does get tired too. I'm not sure, would this bother anyone else?

OP posts:
SirJamesTalbotAndHisSpeculum · 20/08/2019 15:14

Yes, this would bother me.

He needs to help you a lot more. He needs to do his share of the housework just as you do.

I expect he'll be one of those blokes who expects you to do all the night feeds once the baby is born.

SignedUpJust4This · 20/08/2019 15:36

You need to stop viewing this as help. This would be minimum expectation from him if you were housemate. However he sees you as less than a housemate as you are his 'woman' and it is your job to keep house. Get angry.

Shoxfordian · 20/08/2019 15:40

Stop thinking of it as helping you

You both presumably want to live in the house and for it to be clean, clothes to be washed and it to be a comfortable space. Therefore you both need to be working towards this together equally. It isn't your job to make this happen on your own

KatharinaRosalie · 20/08/2019 16:10

YABU to ask for 'help'. He should be doing his fair share, not sitting and moaning while you run around like blue arsed fly.

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