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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU potty training

22 replies

InterestingView · 20/08/2019 14:20

Why do I have so much anxiety around it??

DD is 2 and 5 months

She asks to go to the toilet and use the potty so I've said we'll start this weekend.

I am stressing about going out - do I use a nappy in the car (she tends to always go to sleep) do I use one when we're out and about? We planned to go straight to toilet and skip the potty but if we're out I'd worry we'll have no potty to whip out for a short notice wee etc.

Do we put her in pants or just let her run around at home with nothing on? (I've read mixed advice I.e pants makes them think they have a nappy on so they just wee anyway)

So AIBU to feel so fearful of potty training or should I just crack on and stop worrying!!

OP posts:
Confusedbeetle · 20/08/2019 14:25

Firstly just relax, its no big deal. If you dont get it in proprotion your anxiety will trasmit and it will become a big deal. There is far too much advice, every child is different, let her run naked in the house and garden encorage to sit every few hours. Praise success, ignore accidents. make it more of a game than an expectation. She might crack it in a couple of weeks, or a couple of years. Think about why you are so anxious and manage it

Confusedbeetle · 20/08/2019 14:26

Also, she will be the one to decide whether she prefers the potty or the toilet. When you are out and about t is not the time for training. Nappy on

littlepeaegg · 20/08/2019 14:31

I started with putting a potty in the living room. Just so ds could see it, be around it etc.

I did this before he was due to potty train.

Don't get me wrong, he didn't just start using it! And it was tough. But I think it helped by having it there.

I did let him be naked or with pants on and when I saw the cues, I quickly sat him on the potty. Luckily had wood floors...!

Don't stress about it though! It'll come!! We did rewards with a sticker chart too.

littlepeaegg · 20/08/2019 14:33

Also do not worry about night time yet!! Their bladder isn't strong enough to hold, so maybe pull ups for night and make sure you have a waterproof sheet when the time comes!

My ds took quite a while to not wee at night.

We bought a waterproof mattress which helped.

Userzzzzz · 20/08/2019 14:34

I found it so stressful. Basically the all or nothing approach you read about online was never going to work for us. We started trying to adjust to the new routine of going to the loo while she was in pull-ups then we just did pants at home/nursery and avoided going out for a few weeks. We did pull-ups for longer car trips. Now 3 months later, there is still the odd accident but we’re fully on the other side and everything is easy again. We had about a month of stress, arguments, bad behaviour and it was shite. I think it would be very easy to forget how hard it can be once toileting independence becomes the new normal.

Siameasy · 20/08/2019 14:39

I felt clueless so I bought OH Crap and followed it to the letter. There are lots of ways to skin a cat. I found it easier to pick one and stick to it

lau888 · 20/08/2019 14:44

Toilet train with whatever she usually wears - if a nappy, keep using nappies. It's about keeping her clothes dry, not about what clothes she's wearing. To begin with, you will probably need to sit her on the toilet or potty every 1-2 hours. They get super wrapped up in whatever activity they are engaged in and will say "no" whenever you ask if they need the toilet. I still tell/remind my kids to go to the bathroom before we leave the house. Kids of any age don't really put a lot of thought into planning life around toilet access. Much less so when they are still toddlers! x

TrainspottingWelsh · 20/08/2019 14:45

It will be fine, the only thing that will go wrong is she’ll have accidents like they all do, not because you’ve done something wrong. Or maybe she’ll change her mind and you stop and try again in a few months, either way it doesn’t matter.

Personally if we were going to be somewhere without easy access such as a long drive I used to phrase it as using a nappy just incase the silly wee tried to come when it knew dd couldn’t take it anywhere. So we bypassed any arguments about how she was a big girl and didn’t need one or feelings about going backwards. And then as she got more reliable reduced the occasions. But whatever works for you.

lau888 · 20/08/2019 14:47

Btw, if your child is fond of 10-second warnings (before they need to go) and takes ten trillion hours to disrobe, it's also useful to leave a potty in nearly every room of the house. I even had them in the bedroom. A bit gross but it's not forever and saved on a ton of accidents!

Dontsweatthelittlestuff · 20/08/2019 14:53

It is many years since I have potty trained.
Do what ever suits you and your dc.
What suited me was to pick a week where I would be mostly home and the weather was predicted to be good.
Went straight on to the loo with a child seat, made a big fuss about taking child to choose his new pants. His favourite characters and plenty of them. Then no more day nappies and into pants with lose trousers and shorts.
Expected accidents which were cleaned up without a fuss and about a week later he had got the general idea and the accidents began to tail off.
Everyone will have a different method which worked for them.

RightYesButNo · 20/08/2019 15:12

Do you have to go out for some reason (ie you work and need to take her to nursery Monday morning so only have this weekend)? If you don’t have to go out, the goal would be to cancel as many plans as possible for the next week or two and focus that ALL on potty training and put her on the toilet every X amount of time during that period (and probably have her run around without pants on if necessary). It doesn’t need to be stress; just make it part of the day for your child. If you feel more comfortable having a guide, the book recommended by a PP (Oh Crap) is pretty good, as is the author’s blog.

Also, you mention she’s 2 and 5 months now, so I’m just putting this out there: I see a previous poster had already mentioned stopping and trying again in a few months if she loses interest. Just be careful with this. One of the main pediatricians who supported the “wait until your child is ready” approach became a paid spokesman for Pampers, the £8 billion nappy company, so always keep in mind who benefits if you don’t “crack” potty training, and it’s not your child (or your pocketbook!).

CecilyP · 20/08/2019 15:52

OTOH, I tried at 2.4 and it was an abject failure so put him back in nappies. Tried again at 2.6 and it just worked such a total non-event that I don’t feel qualified to advise anyone else. We did put him back in a nappy for a long car journey around the same time but that didn’t set him back at all.

Disfordarkchocolate · 20/08/2019 16:01

For all 4 of mine, we did it in a couple of days once we started getting dry daytime nappies. We stayed at home, had a potty close by and had bare bottoms. No annoyance if they didn't quite manage, lots of praise when it went right. For the first few weeks, we planned trips out based on knowing where a toilet was and always took spare clothes. Easy potty training is the norm so don't get stressed, you can try again in a few weeks.

Original poster
InterestingView · 20/08/2019 16:07

Thank you all so much. we've cleared plans for this week and next week on the days we're off with her. Prepped nursery and grandparents and have an extra day off with her with it being a bank holiday so that will help. Just going to go for it and see what happens! Will look up Oh crap too!

OP posts:
BarbariansMum · 20/08/2019 16:10

Once we took off nappies in the day I never went back to putting them on as I thought that would be confusing. For car journeys I go them to wee before we set off and put an absorbent pad (made from old towel) in the car seat in case of accidents.

DampSquid · 20/08/2019 16:12

You're nbu for feeling anxious, I remember feeling nervous with my oldest dd. We went with putting her in pants and going for it. We did take a travel potty with us in the car for emergencies and she had a few wees on grass verges etc. We still used nappies or pull ups for nights but didn't need them for too long. Good luck

Original poster
InterestingView · 20/08/2019 16:12

I'm sure someone I know had a portable toilet seat with a handle for going out and about using public toilets etc but I cant find what I need on google. Any clues? Thanks

OP posts:
TrainspottingWelsh · 20/08/2019 16:45

right I don’t disagree, I’m thinking more along the lines of dc who are finding it hard to the point it becomes an issue/ battle ground, better to drop it before it gets to that stage

Original poster
InterestingView · 21/08/2019 21:18

What do I use when we're out and about? I've tried to find a portable potty, I've found some that are like a potty in a case with a handle but they're nearly £30!!

OP posts:
StripyHorse · 21/08/2019 21:58

Summer is a great time to potty train...
Lots of playing in the garden so accidents don't matter
Easier clothes to remove rather than loads of layers (t-shirt dresses were especially good).
Crocs / Jelly shoes or similar are great as they can be cleaned and dried more easily if DCs do have an accident.

We used the Potette potty when out which folded up and had bags with a lining which could be binned the same as a nappy. It seems a but wasteful but when compared to the nappies we would use instead it was much better. It was more for peace of mind.

When you do move on to nappy free at night (was much later for DD1) go for layers..... bed mat, sheet, bed mat, sheet. Remove the top layer and you are good to go. Essential at 2am!!

thecatinthetwat · 21/08/2019 22:07

I’ve always done it slowly, nappies when out and naked at home. Takes ages and vinegar is great for accidents.

Plus wild wees are good when they can do it but can’t hold it for long.

Honestly don’t worry, it’ll all be fine.

Lastly, pull up for night time as takes loads longer. Or at least a water proof sheet Grin

Original poster
InterestingView · 21/08/2019 22:21

Thank you both

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