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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

should I go - please help !

15 replies

gogoman · 19/08/2019 23:38

Last week I finished my Masters and have been furiously applying for jobs! I have terrible anxiety attached to being unemployed, and I stress about not being able to find a job.

For background, I have two undergraduate degrees and two Masters (change of career) and a tonne of experience in the industry I work in. I am hopeful about eventually getting something, but the market I work in is quite saturated. I am very academically able, and my results show this, but I always seem to struggle getting to interview stage.

I've applied for pretty much any job I can find at the moment as I need the money (I think I'm on the last 300 in the bank -eeek!) I have no outgoings, and realistically DH will support me comfortably as I look for work. But, to satisfy my own values, I think I would like to work as anything right now.

So tomorrow I have an interview for a minimum wage job, full time though. The job itself is entry level and not in my field, but it's work, and I feel so down being out of work.

However, the job itself is a 1 hour and 45 minute to 2 hour commute from my house on the train. I don't drive. It would cost me around £10 per day to commute. The job is very temporary as well (until October), with no chance of the contract being extended. My interview is very early in the morning, meaning I stupidly have to pay peak price for the ticket there now (disorganised me)

I am utterly torn. I feel like I do have a good chance of getting at least some money behind me in then next month or so even though it may be stressful with the commute, and I hate being out of work. My DH says it's a terrible idea, the commute will swallow up too much time for a very unrelated job to my career path.

I do have interviews upcoming the next few weeks which are local and more relevant to my career choice.

But I just feel terrible about possibly turning down an opportunity to support my own independence even if it is a stressful commute?

It's more of an WWYD, but AIBU to NOT go to this interview tomorrow?

OP posts:

IAskTooManyQuestions · 19/08/2019 23:41

I'm struggling with all that education and apparently no career prospects to show for it.

Shinesweetfreedom · 19/08/2019 23:41

No do not waste your time with this

Oldstyle · 19/08/2019 23:45

Definitely absolutely don't go to the interview. You will either not get it - which will leave you feeling much worse - or you will be offered it. Then you are stuck. You either say no and feel awful or you say yes and spend vast amounts of time and money and stress getting there and back and your relationship suffers and your stress levels rise and you don't enjoy it anyway and you get depressed and lose sleep and your relationship suffers more and the trains get delayed and you are put on a warning and your health suffers and you end up is a state of complete misery. Plus you will worry about how on earth you take time off to go to the other interviews for more appropriate jobs.
Your DH is 120% right!

Original poster

gogoman · 19/08/2019 23:54

@IAskTooManyQuestions

As I said, saturated market, only started applying for jobs a week ago...

OP posts:

NCpreggo · 20/08/2019 00:11

Wouldn't be for everyone, but there at least 5 sentences you've used in your OP which indicate you probably should go for it or actually want to - it seems you'd feel better in yourself with this job than without it.

messolini9 · 20/08/2019 00:18

I do have interviews upcoming the next few weeks which are local and more relevant to my career choice.

Then for heaven's sake, honour the immense work you have put into your education & industry, take your DH at his word when he maintains that you should hold back for better chances, & give yourself a few weeks grace period.

You can find another minimum wage job, without the commute, if you need to in a month or 2.
Meantime, get into those interviews for the next few weeks & look at each one as a learning experience & training to keep your interview game at peak. Then when you land a good job, it's a bonus.

There is no need to throw yourself into a miserable long commute for minumum wage what DH has indicated that - even tho' you are now down to just £300 in your personal account - that money is not going to be an immediate issue.

Believe in yourself - your DH clearly does :)

Expressedways · 20/08/2019 00:25

You’ve clearly worked so hard to get all those qualifications, I wouldn’t be so quick to consider settling when you don’t really need to. You have other interviews coming up and a supportive DH. In your circumstances there’s no way I’d consider doing a long and expensive commute for a minimum wage temp job not even in your field. If it comes to it surely you can find a filler job close to home?

Good luck for the interviews coming up!

Bambamber · 20/08/2019 00:29

I wouldn't go. An up to 2 hour commute for a temporary, minimum wage job that's not relevant to your career would be absolutely soul destroying

croftermum · 20/08/2019 00:34

I think you already know the answer to this. You should be patient and wait for a few more weeks until you get an opertunity much closer to home. In the mean time, you could investigate the possibility of goings elf employed, and starting up your own business relating to what you are qualified in career wize..? Commuting for up to 4 hours a day is ridiculous, and you know this. I don't understand why you would want to waist your life like that.... If I were you, I would wait till you are offered something much closer to home. That gives you hours extra everyday to do other things with your life. I wish my husband supported me with what I want to do, but he doesn't, so you are very lucky. Best of luck!

IncrediblySadToo · 20/08/2019 00:39

Everything else aside you’d be mad to do that commute for a MW job when it’s not the Chou e between doing it & starving.

You’d be daft to sacrifice other career opportunities for this me job

Don’t go and keep job hunting & Ace those interviews!

DarklyDreamingDexter · 20/08/2019 00:46

Your eagerness to find work is laudable, but a 2 hour commute to a minimum wage job? No, save your energies for finding a better paid job closer to where you live.

Glass5Cage321 · 20/08/2019 04:37

All those qualifications, for you to end up applying for NMW job
Why aren't you applying for better jobs, more local to where you live ?
What are the other people on your course applying for ?

BertrandRussell · 20/08/2019 04:49

“Why aren't you applying for better jobs, more local to where you live ?”
She is!

OP- your dh is right. Don’t go to this interview. Instead, give yourself a deadline for finding something more suitable and treat the job hunting as a job in itself. If you haven’t found something good in, say, 3 months then rethink. But don’t rush into anything now.

Aquamarine1029 · 20/08/2019 05:00

That job would be a complete waste of your time. As educated as you are, you should know this.

ittooshallpass · 20/08/2019 07:06

Not only is this job a complete waste of time for you, you are potentially depriving someone else who really needs this job from getting it.

Your DH is, quite rightly, happy to support you. Stop racing around like a headless chicken trying to get any job. Take a deep breath, recognise your job hunt has only just started and approach your job search methodically; exactly in the same way you would your education.

In the kindest way OP you may be well qualified, but you’re showing no common sense on this one.

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