Aibu to ask for more money than this?

[Boozysuzy84]

Is this fair? Help me

I have a solicitors appointment next monday but can anyone please give me advice. Talking finances with h tonight does this sound fair? We have a 3 year old.

Mortgage for 220 (think valuation will be 210) 175k left to pay. I haven't worked since 2012 when I gave up my job to move to middle east with him and then have stayed at home with son after that . I worked as a retail manager previously earned 20k. Potential earnings of I go back to work full time 20k

Husband offering a straight up spilt of the 220 giving me 22.5k. Wondering if this is fair and I should take it?

He has a car on finance about 10k left but does recieve a car allowance of £500 a month from work on top of his 85k salary which more than covers his £250 month car payment. My car has 5k left on it (£100 a month)

He has a pension total contributions during marriage including Gov contributions 55k. Neither of us has mentioned pension as an asset.

Should I accept the 22.5k? Scared if I challenge him on it ask for more so he will want the valuation amount on house and say the cars are debt? Therefore giving us a settlement of 10k! Dont want solicitors fees eating all the money!

Will he have to pay towards childcare if I go back to work? On top of child maintenance?

Will he have to give me anything towards supporting me besides child maintenance until a settlement is reached? Hes asking me to open bank account so he can pay in his minimum child maintenance amounts only and he continue to pay Bills until I find somewhere. He says I've had almost 4 weeks and he wants us tonleave within next month!

Don't accept anything until you have got legal advice.

Gosh, what a mess. Best advised to see what happens after solicitor’s appointment as you may get mixed advice here.

You must get legal advice, there are other things to consider, pension plans, savings etc provision for the child also. Do not agree to anything at this point

As a start list everything, every expense from mortgage down to newspapers, kids socks, birthday cards, every single thing and take that to the solicitors appointment

Zeb thanks.
Going to bank tomorrow to try get print outs of the last few years. We dont have savings he blows all the money! We have 7k in current account and hes taken out a credit card and spent 5k on it (car repairs, doing up garden, vets bills) Expensive sports and a large amount of clothing for him (2k in last 2 months) I think hes blowing it all so he doesn't have to give any to us! Assets are mortgage and pension only.

Yes no intentions of accepting anything without seeing solicitor! A week is a long time away. Was merely playing dumb tonight to figure out his plans.

Why are you selling the house? You're entitled to stay in it!!!

FeeFee832 we are not selling the house he want to buy out my half of the equity. Hes trying to force me to leave but I wont! I played dumb and didnt let on i know me and my son are entitled to stay there. Ugh guess he will be back here soon, hes been at his mums 3 weeks.

If the children will be with you, sale can be deferred until the youngest is eighteen. On that salary he should be able to house himself in the meantime

Make sure you build into your agreement that his payments for your child continue through uni. THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT. I have a very high earning ex who is having to pay my DD £1300 a month, every month, for the 4 years she is at uni (including placement), which means of course she won’t need any loans etc. He was a good earner, like your DH, but as his salary grew, so did his contributions. If I hadn’t had this built into our court order then he would have had some wiggle room and his contribution would have been considerably less.
And always go through a solicitor! Good luck!

Thank you Ynci had not thought of that. X

Definitely see a solicitor. He sounds like a piece of work and you're better off without him. Best of luck. X

I’ve never understood considering someone else’s pension as an asset! Everything else I understand but that just seems wrong. That and inheritance.

Skittlenommer I dont think its wrong? I haven't been able to make pension contributions since 2012 when i gave up my career to support his. If he is going to try and hide his other assets (hes running up debt one credit card) I'll have no choice but to go after pension.

Ynci how is that payment so high? It's written in the court order he has to pay higher education costs? X

Pension is an asset because the man has been paying into it for years out of his salary to protect his future and his wife's. If she hasn't been able to work because of moving abroad with him etc then she hasn't been able to do the same and should have a share of his.

Also worth pointing out that he has been deliberately building up big bills on the credit card to avoid splitting the money with you so you don’t think you should be liable to pay towards those.

Skittle inheritance you have a point but not pension. A lot of women ( some men)are suffering now due to raising kids in the 80s and 90s while the partner clocked up a good pension that they were able to do due to their wife.