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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wish people would stop adding moral judgments to food

27 replies

lastqueenofscotland · 19/08/2019 20:33

It’s everywhere
I’ve just seen an advert for low Valois ice cream saying “you’ll need to find a new way to be naughty.”

The lady I sit next to at work said “oh god I was meant to be good and I’m not” after eating a handful of crisps.

AIBU to think we need to move away from this way of thinking and stop adding weird value judgments to food?

OP posts:

bridgetreilly · 19/08/2019 20:34

YANBU.

The worst is the SW sins. Yes, I know they spelt it syn. Still a terrible way to describe any food.

IAskTooManyQuestions · 19/08/2019 20:36

'syn' is synergy not 'sinful '

You need the synergy of all food groupss to work harmoniously for the greater good

Original poster

lastqueenofscotland · 19/08/2019 20:38

Iask
There is an obvious connotation there.

And how food that isn’t salad is something that needs to be earned or a reward.

OP posts:

HalfDeadHousePlant · 19/08/2019 20:39

You need the synergy of all food groupss to work harmoniously for the greater good

Original poster

lastqueenofscotland · 19/08/2019 20:45

And yes that synergy thing sounds like something that weird cult would say in hot fuzz

OP posts:

PuffHuffle5 · 19/08/2019 20:47

YANBU. A slice of cake in itself is not ‘bad’. Eating a slice of cake everyday when you’re already overweight is problematic - but that still doesn’t make the cake itself bad, just your relationship with food. I personally think cake is very good - I don’t overdo it and I call it ‘food for the soul’, definitely a good thing in my opinion.

LolaSmiles · 19/08/2019 20:56

YANBU
I'm in total agreement.

It's like when people at work comment on how I'm so lucky to eat whatever treat/naughty food I'm eating. I feel my eyes roll to the back of my head. It's not naughty. It's something nice as part of a healthy,balanced diet and a healthy attitude to food.

I also dislike it when sweet things or takeaway is spoken about as a reward. Have a take away because you want to, enjoy the glass of wine because wine is nice, not because it's hump day. Enjoy the cake because it's tasty, not because Sharron in accounts snapped at you 7 weeks ago.

dollydaydream114 · 19/08/2019 21:00

'syn' is synergy not 'sinful '

Yeah, and it’s just a total coincidence that it sounds like ‘sin’, right?

Trust me, I work in marketing and there is no way on earth SW actually wants anyone to think of ‘synergy’ when they’re trying to work out if they can have a Twix. I know what they teach their reps to say but nobody is genuinely that naïve.

MiltonRoad · 19/08/2019 21:07

‘Syns’ were originally sins but changed as a marketing ploy.... rebelfit.co.uk/blog/2017/proof-that-syns-used-to-be-called-sins

managedmis · 19/08/2019 21:09

Synergy

Nextphonewontbesamsung · 19/08/2019 21:11

Well there's got to be a balance somewhere.

Overall, a handful of broccoli or tomatoes or something is going to be "better" than a handful of M&Ms.

We do need to think of food as everyday, or occasional, or very occasional - don't we? Perhaps we should describe it like that?

toomuchconfusion · 19/08/2019 21:15

What like hot fuzz - the greater good ...

Dieting and assigning moral judgement to food is a big part what is creating the 'obesity crisis'. Maybe if we didn't all have disordered eating from diet culture and an unhealthy fascination with being as small as possible, at any cost, we wouldn't be so bloody obsessed with food all the time.

I quit dieting 3 years ago and my weight has not increased, but my obsession with food or restricting food has decreased beyond belief. Food is just food, not good or bad. It almost boring for me these days because it's not taboo any more.

So YANBU, I agree I'm also sick of moral judgement over food, disordered eating and dieting obsession! SW can go stick a Muller light where the sun doesn't shine as far as I'm concerned!

timshelthechoice · 19/08/2019 21:17

YANBU. It's just fucking food! Use your common sense, use moderation.

Girlmeetsbook · 19/08/2019 21:17

YANBU, it's so weird and infantilsing of (mainly) women. Am so tired of women in the office's water cooler talk being about how they've been so 'naughty' and eaten 2.5 crisps...or if they've fallen off some diet wagon they're so 'bad' or they haven't lost a pound yet been so 'good'. Grrr. Don't blame them though, the diet industry has taught us this ridiculous link. SW seems particularly bad for this frickin 'syns'! Diet industry has slot to answer for - the amount of people lose the weight/regain + extra/hate themselves/return, and then blame themselves not the stupid diet that sold false promises in the first place! Diets don't work in the long term for the majority of people - and the masses of serial dieters and millions of diets speak to that. So sick of how we're made to feel bad about ourselves, hunger and then sold dieting snake oil. Rant over!! Did I say already YANBU

transformandriseup · 19/08/2019 21:17

My MIL the other night said she was being “naughty” because she was having fish in breadcrumbs for tea with her salad. I almost screamed.

DontBuyANewMumCashmere · 19/08/2019 21:18

It's like when people at work comment on how I'm so lucky to eat whatever treat/naughty food I'm eating.

Yy Lola, a colleague said to me a while ago 'I hate people like you, eating whatever you want and you just stay skinny'
A) I'm not skinny! But I do have a healthy BMI
B) I do have a healthy lifestyle, walking cycling or jogging regularly
C) Don't bring in three packets of biscuits to work, eat loads, then moan about other people being 'skinny'

I know maintaining a healthy weight can be very difficult, I lost 4 stoneish many years ago, but I hate the obsession with eating / being good whilst doing very little about your general health, then commenting on other people's bodies.

Girlmeetsbook · 19/08/2019 21:21

For anyone 'struggling' with food issues I would heartily recommend the book 'Intuitive Eating'. No fake pseudo science, been around donkeys years and on numerous editions and written by qualified nutritionists that have experience across a range of food disorders. And it specifically calls out this kind of language as damaging. It's a liberating book.

supercee · 19/08/2019 21:21

My mother is the worst if she sees me eating anything deemed as 'naughty' and it's usually followed by a dramatic 'resist, resist!'. She says it in jest but I know deep down she's serious.

I have to explain every time, eating this one biscuit will not make me fat, eating 20 of the things, daily, combined with other factors will. I do need to lose a stone though

RedCowboyBoots · 19/08/2019 21:22

Nah, I don't have an issue with this language at all. I have limited self-control when it comes to cake, crisps and chocolate. Chocolate and sugar are addictive. If I resist the urge to eat them when I've been in their proximity, I have been good, the same as if I resist the urge to laze about on the sofa after a hard day and actually go for a run, I have been good. In both situations I have put my overall health and wellbeing first. It's hard. I have earned the right to praise myself for it.

SolsticeBabyMaybe · 19/08/2019 21:26

YANBU. I also think it plays into emotional eating/food issues etc. It's not a balanced way to look at food.

Venger · 19/08/2019 21:31

The worst is the SW sins. Yes, I know they spelt it syn. Still a terrible way to describe any food.

I've recently sacked off SW and started calorie counting instead. I eat whatever I want provided I don't go over my daily calorie allowance and, truth be told, I don't feel restricted but SW has fucked up my perception of good/bad/syn so much that it has taken me weeks to get my head around eating normally again and eating literally anything/everything in moderation. I've just gone over my food log for today and I've totalled up what everything would be on SW and (excluding "free" foods) it comes in at 67 syns! I've had perfectly normal things like greek yoghurt with a handful of granola for breakfast, a curry made with coconut milk for dinner, a (pre-made) prawn salad sandwich at lunch time, a latte at soft play, etc.

It's been very liberating to say "yes, I can have that" when I want to eat something particular rather than saying no I can't because it has too many syns. When I go out to eat I don't feel like I have to stick to SW staples like jacket potatoes, pasta with a tomato based sauce, or a salad with no dressing and I can order what I'll enjoy instead. I know I didn't have to stick to those things anyway but there is nothing more soul destroying than the SW group leader analysing your choices and asking people to suggest what "better" choices you could have made.

So yes, YANBU. Many people do have a skewed perception of good/bad foods.

PuffHuffle5 · 19/08/2019 21:34

I think in terms of SW and weight loss it’s not such a bad approach - it’s simple to implement and understand, obviously if you want to loose weight lay off the cake and biscuits or anything with lots of ‘syns’ - but in terms of a regular healthy diet once you’ve lost the weight it’s not a good attitude to have towards food.

Venger · 19/08/2019 21:36

Food is just food, not good or bad. It almost boring for me these days because it's not taboo any more.

When I was doing SW I would crave "bad" foods like sweets, crisps, chocolate then I'd feel bad for falling off the wagon and would think fuck it, I'd already messed the week up. Now that I know I can have those "bad" foods if I want them so long as I'm within my calorie allowance, I don't want them. It's as if knowing they're not forbidden or naughty makes them less attractive. I definitely have emotional issues related to food and issues related to being told no - my response to no is to make sure to do the thing I've been told not to do.

bee222 · 19/08/2019 21:41

*syn' is synergy not 'sinful '

You need the synergy of all food groupss to work harmoniously for the greater good*

Absolute bollocks. They know exactly what they are doing by calling it "syns" and it's got naff all to do with "synergy' - it's all about associating food with guilt, and a clever marketing ploy to sell their diet plans and books. If that wasn't their intention they would choose a word that doesn't sound exactly like the word sin.

When my mum was a member back in the 90s it was sins, not syn. She still has all the books with it written in! My mum would talk about food as sins and saving up her "sins" to have a treat. I was 14 at the time and this all contributed to my eating disorder. I can still tell you how many sins were in certain brand tins of soup. It encourages disordered eating and certainly contributed to my eating disorder.

Slimming World are trash.

Girlmeetsbook · 19/08/2019 21:43

If you apply the same language elsewhere it shows how weird it is

The quarterly review went well, I was pleased with my presentation, I've been sooo good'

Had a haircut this morning, I'm sooo naughty.

It's just weird when you think about it- can't recall men in my office talking this way about food ever.

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