Tinder

[Tinderella91]

I matched with a guy on Tinder last night, we’ve been messaging today and seem to get on well.

I’ve just found out he’s unemployed, I’ve worked hard to build my career and like using the money I earn to go on holidays, meals out etc. Wibu to unmatch with this guy based on the fact he’s unemployed?

To clarify I don’t want a guy to support me or even earn as much as me. I just want someone who I can enjoy my current lifestyle with.

Unemployed for how long? If it’s been two weeks and he’s looking I would say date him and see how it goes, if it’s been 14 years I’d say move on!

I met someone unemployed on Tinder. He was a millionaire with a Lamborghini so didn't need a job...just saying.

Maybe find out why he's unemployed?

It depends on his reason for not being employed and how long for.

Personally I'd go a little bit deeper into it, he may have been unemployed recently through redundancy? However if you've got doubts already, will they ever go away?

Surely more detail is needed.

How long has he been unemployed for?
Is he actively looking for work?
Does he have savings i.e. so has money?
Is he looking to study?
How is he supporting himself at present?

It's worth a meet up to fact find.

You can generally tell if someone's going through a rough patch or is a drifter.

He’s been doing temp work and has been going to the job centre to try and find another job. Currently living with parents on job seekers allowance, no savings, no plans to study.

If he's doing temp work while looking for other work I don't see what more he can do?

You are getting a bit ahead of yourself worrying about living off anyone if you haven't even met him yet!

Hm. The sort of jobs available though a job centre aren’t the sort of jobs I would want to do. That might matter to you. It would to me.

It would be different if they had a passion alongside, like piano playing or writing, and the job was just to keep afloat, but I wouldn’t get on with someone who wasn’t a bit more ambitious. Even if the ambition was something less traditional and was something like to be self sufficient in a wooden hut.

If he's doing temp work then he is working. Do you mean he was temping and is claiming in between assignments/ until he gets something permanent? I don't see anything wrong with that, the way the job market is it's not unusual at all.

The sort of jobs available though a job centre aren’t the sort of jobs I would want to do.

What? The Jobcentre search engine has everything from unskilled right up to professions and senior civil service.

But if he's temping he isn't unemployed?

He was doing temp work, that is now finished. He’s currently not working and is looking for a similar temp job.

I want someone with a stable career.

I don't think it's unreasonable. I would not match an unemployed woman. Even someone who'd been a stay at home mother, unless it was clear she had reasonable disposable income. At this stage of my life I'm looking for someone I can enjoy it with, the reality is, that generally means there's a not so insignificant cost to it. Go on a date for an evening of beers and you're looking at spending 20+ quid on beers each alone probably. Add food, probably another 25 quid. Factor in a taxi home maybe. You're soon not going to see change out of 50quid. It really does depend on what you want. If you want someone to snuggle on the sofa for the proverbial netflix and chill then maybe it doesn't matter, but if you want to date I would imagine dating someone who couldn't afford to date would become extremely frustrating very quickly.

So forget him then

If that's what is important to you then unmatch. You don't owe him anything.

Yep unmatch! I wish I hadn’t overlooked the fact that ex didn’t have a stable career as he is now unemployed so pays zero maintenance! Would never go for an unemployed man again. Dont waste your time.

I would find out a little bit more info first but yea I'd probably unmatch....this is why I don't like tinder there isn't enough information needed on their profiles