To ask the best age gap between kids?

[EmbarrassingMama]

I know, I know - there isn’t a “right” time, but we’re clueless.

I’m an only child, my husband is an only child and so far, our DC is an only child.

We’d like to have another (probably just one more), but I don’t know what a “good” age gap is? DC is 14 months old.

Advice from the experienced needed!

I have 4.5 years between my first and 2nd child and 2 years 9 months between my 2nd and 3rd child. The 4.5 yeas gap was good as oldest was on nursery so I got some great quality time with the baby.

The gap between my toddler and newborn is hard work. I can’t turn my back for a second as my 2 year old just doesn’t understand to be careful around the baby. I rarely sit still so baby is often in a carrier which is fine but my toddler is still in reins etc though he has been fully potty trained for 9 months and sleeps great (7pm to 7am). I just get no one to one time with the baby and will have to wait till my toddler starts nursery in January to do baby classes etc.

I’m a big fan of the 3 year gap. Absolutely perfect for my older two with almost exactly 3 years between them. Eldest fully potty trained and articulate so not not dealing with two ‘babies’ and each got substantial early one to one time because eldest could play independently when youngest was under one. But reasonably quickly able to play together and suited to same trips and outings. Found 4.5 years too big between child 2 & 3. Observed friends and sister in law really struggle with sub 2 year age gap and really ‘getting through’ and wishing the time away so although haven’t experienced it personally, small age gap seems too hard work in the early years - although can be rewarding later on.

3 for me and works well, like pp said 2-4 years is ideal

23 months between mine, both girls. Hoping that’ll mean they’ll have a friend for life in each other.

Saying that, I do understand the logic of waiting until the eldest is 3 & getting 15 hours free child care.

I have 22 months, we have just hit 3 and nearly 5 and they get on and play so well together its fab. I am sure there will be sibling issues as they grow up but currently its great. It's been hard work but they are in consecutive school years so littlest is starting school nursery soon and oldest in reception.

My sister has 3 years and doing stuff with a 1/4 year old was tough, just starting to get easier since youngest has turned 6 ish.

Lots of my friends have 3 year gap and are finding it a challenge, but I found 2 a challenge but now out the other side so I am sure its an element of rose coloured glasses!

22 months between mine and so far so good! Oldest was too young to be jealous when youngest was born, but old enough to understand if she was told to be gentle etc. They're really close now at 2.5 and 4.5, eldest is a fab big sister, very attentive and helpful, and for the most part they play really well together! Not sure how it will go when they hit their teenage years, but i'm one of 4 girls, just over a year between eldest sis, then me an twin, then youngest is 10 years younger! My poor Mum! We all got on really well though, bit of a shame that youngest was so much younger. As we were all fleeing the nest, she was just coming up to teenage years an i think she could have done with us bein around more.

4 years 9 months. Best mistake ever!

Wow! Thanks everyone. These have actually been more similar than I was expecting and has made me reasonably excited for a second!

4 minute gap - eek! That made me laugh.

I am enjoying my new found independence (just returned to work, started socialising again), so I was almost worried that the answer would be 'as soon as possible'. I'm quite enjoying myself right now. The 3 year gap seems to have worked really well for a lot of you, but much more than that seems harder work in terms of activities etc. Hats off to the 14 month gap. You are superwoman!

Definitely one to discuss with DH tonight - I'm going to show him this thread!