to think I'd rather have a newborn in a building site than a 12-18m old?

[BoomyBooms]

Sorry for the long read! It's a bit complicated though...

DH and I bought a Victorian terrace that needs a lot of work, and we've lined up architects and builders etc to start on essentially knocking down the back half of our house (dining room and kitchen) to make one big open plan kitchen diner. We also need them to replace floors, carpet upstairs, new bathroom, and paint walls etc. It's a lot of work!

I am also nearly 16 weeks pregnant with our first child... It was a bit of a surprise and we found out after we already had the ball rolling with getting this work done. My due date is 6th Feb so the builders have a deadline.

My problem is that our builder has really put the frighteners on us today He can't start work until end of October and has strongly suggested that we should put this off for another year, in case it can't all be done by February. He has concerns about me breathing in dust while pregnant too. The fact that he is a dad of two, and a really nice guy, means he has more experience of having a newborn than we do! However he has said that if we are determined to press on, he thinks he can hopefully have most of it done by February and should be the last few bits of fitting kitchen appliances and painting etc outstanding.

DH and I think surely it must be easier to get this work done now, before the baby arrives, even if it drags over a while to when the baby is here. Surely having a 12-18 month old toddling around, picking things up, having to entertain them with a house full of builders etc would be harder.

AIBU to crack on and get it done now even if it means work is happening when the baby is here? Please help!

Yes I’d say a new born is easier than a toddler running about getting into what he/she shouldn’t! Even better if you could move out as it speeds things up if owners aren’t in residence.

But also no matter what the build is extremely likely to overrun the estimate. I’ve renovated six properties and not one was done in the time given.

Yes I would do it now. Could you stay with family or Airbnb for the worst parts?

We had an extension done last year. There is no way I would bring a newborn baby into it until it’s finished. There is dust everywhere.

You are right!
However I’d be worried that your builder hasn’t warning you out of the goodness of his heart, and may have accepted too many jobs and be looking to put yours back. In which case you could be in for a nightmare build.
I would ask him outright if he has any concerns about being able to work on your job alone with the October start, say you’d rather know now, as with or without a baby, you want the work completed as quickly as possible without compromising the quality of the finish.
I had a builder who promised he’d be on the job full time but when it came to it, he was juggling two sites plus his own house remodelling, and it caused delays. Very frustrating.
Do you get quotes from other builders and did you like any of them?
Fingers crossed my fears are unfounded.

You’d need to move out. You don’t want a newborn inhaling dust with things such as lead paint potentially in it

I agree.

We had a lot of work done at about 20 months and god it was awful. We went away for the start and demolition of some walls which would be the most dusty .. but feeding him just microwaveable meals and washing up our 3 bowls in the bath and all that for a month was horrible.

I think you are right, you want it before the baby can walk and before the baby needs to eat food.

If it’s awful you can just put the baby in a sling or in the pram and go and spend the day wandering from park to coffee shop and back.

Another one who thinks your builder is not trying to persuade you to put it off out of the goodness of his heart.

You could end up living on a building site with a newborn... and still be living on one with a toddler.

Have you paid him anything yet?

I'd go ahead BUT only if you have family or someone you can stay with nearby. If you have one that doesn't sleep at all at night you will be especially knackered with building work during the day and less able to relax(as much as possible...) with people working in your home. Also, babies don't work to schedule, a few weeks either side can be huge in building works.

I don't think either time is ideal!

We extended with a 3 month old and 2 year old and it was hard. I agree a younger baby is easier to keep safe on a building site than a 12 month old. However, I wouldn't want to be breathing in potentially carcinogenic dust whilst pregnant and caring for a newborn is all encompassing and you won't know how you feel until they arrive you may get a chilled out sleeper who will happily nap in a buggy, feeds like a dream. You may have a high needs baby, who wakes every hour or you may pnd etc, it's just so unknown.

Some nights our house was disgusting and I was hoovering dust out of the bath before cleaning it, then bathing the kids! If you can afford it I would consider moving out for a good few months whilst the messy/ noisy bit gets done. Start it asap if you can do that. Then I'd pay someone to come and deep clean it before moving back in.

It was so worth it and our house is lovely now but I look back and think I may have been mad!