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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH thinks one dogs enough.

38 replies

goldenlabs · 19/08/2019 16:50

Aibu to want another dog. We have one already who we adore, but she is all for him really, kind of ignores me, lol, and tbh I think she’s bored with her own company sometimes. I would just love another dog, who do you think should get their own way here. Should I just get one, even though dh thinks another one would be too much trouble.

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 19/08/2019 16:53

Unless you both want two dogs, don't get another.

bridgetreilly · 19/08/2019 16:55

DH is right, YABU.

BeanBag7 · 19/08/2019 16:57

Theres no guarantee that a second dog wouldnt be the same. What if they both love DH and ignore you? Get a third? A fourth?
If you dont both agree, you can't get another one.

AlmostAJillSandwich · 19/08/2019 16:57

You both need to want another dog.

LochJessMonster · 19/08/2019 16:58

IME 2 dogs is actually more than double the work.
You have to make sure the new dog bonds with you and not the existing dog, which means lots of one on one time - which means double the walks.
Of course its nice for some dogs to have company (not my current boy though he would leave if I got another dog)

But your husband has to be 100% on board with it. YWBVVVU to just get a dog against his wishes. That would be way out of order.

MissConductUS · 19/08/2019 17:02

Doing that behind his back when he's already expressed his opposition would be really poor form and an ongoing point of resentment and tension, which would cause the new dog to suffer.

Bad idea OP.

willywillywillywilly · 19/08/2019 17:04

I have 2 dogs. Stick with 1 Grin

Original poster
goldenlabs · 19/08/2019 17:29

Oh dear, was hoping for the opposite advice.

OP posts:
Raphael34 · 19/08/2019 17:33

If my oh just ‘got one’ after I told him I didn’t want another dog, he’d have the option of returning it immediately or leaving with it. If the dogs bored and not bonding with you then spend more time with it. Play with it/exercise it more. Look for local people in your area with dogs to walk her with. They are such a big commitment that you can’t just get one without the whole family being on board

moobar · 19/08/2019 17:33

Two dogs, in my experience, leads to three dogs, then without even noticing, four.

messolini9 · 19/08/2019 17:33

tbh I think she’s bored with her own company sometimes

How long does she spend in her own company?
Isn't she glommed on to you or DH most of the time?

A second dog isn't the solution.
Help existing dog to switch onto you more by becoming tremendously interesting - extra games, walks, training. Even an extra 5 mins round the block just so she gets to associate fun stuff with you. She'll soon start looking to you more than she currently does :)

dollydaydream114 · 19/08/2019 17:37

I'm sure this isn't really the case but your post makes it sound like you are a bit bored with your dog and jealous of its attachment to your husband, and just want an exciting new puppy as a novelty.

As others have said - you really need to both want another dog or it just won't work. Also, introducing a new dog into a house where there's already an established pet is not always as easy as you might think. Dogs that are super-sociable in the park are not always so keen when another dog arrives in their actual home - sometimes it works brilliantly but you certainly can't bank on it.

Usually dogs attach themselves so much to their human owners that they still get just as lonely when you go out, even when there's another dog with them, so getting another dog to keep the other one company isn't necessarily going to solve a problem there.

If you both wanted two dogs then great, put the effort in and go for it, but if you don't, it's not going to work.

HeckyPeck · 19/08/2019 17:57

Take over the feeding of current dog!

PrayingandHoping · 19/08/2019 18:02

Ill give you opposite advise!

I will never go back to 1 dog. 2 is easier!!

But that said u do have to have DH agreeing. Not something to do behind his back.

MadKittyCatMum · 19/08/2019 18:05

I’m not the best person to offer advice as an doggy mad but I would always have a minimum of two dogs so that they have company when left alone.

Span1elsRock · 19/08/2019 18:10

Our eldest dog is 6, and I've been muttering about wanting another for around a year. DH wasn't remotely keen, but he did realise that if we didn't get another dog soon, it would be too much for the older one. We looked at rescues, but because our dogs come to work with us, we decided to go for a puppy and found one through a friend. It's been incredibly hard work, if I'm truthful, and even though she's now 9 months and completely house trained, she's a destructive monster and it's quite wearing at times. I don't think our old dog was very taken for quite a while too, and was very much a happy only dog. I absolute adore her, don't get me wrong, but having two is a LOT of work.

For it to work, you really both need to be on board. Trust me.

Vasya · 19/08/2019 18:12

You definitely need to both agree to two dogs!

AlphaNumericalSequence · 19/08/2019 18:14

Agree with others that it's completely wrong to get another dog unless you both explicitly agree to getting one.

Also tow dogs can sometimes be much harder than one, depending on the dynamics between them.

Bookworm4 · 19/08/2019 18:17

I have 3, had 4; sadly lost her to cancer last year. I don’t see it as extra work, they’re a good wee gang.
Mine are all adopted & Ive fostered many; would you foster? That helps a rescue and lets you see how having 2 might suit you.

Oysterbabe · 19/08/2019 18:18

Did you know that a dog has a bigger carbon footprint than a car? The environment always comes up when people post about having another kid so I thought I'd drop that in there.

GrowThroughWhatYouGoThrough · 19/08/2019 18:19

I have 3 and would have more 😂

TeddybearBaby · 19/08/2019 18:20

We had one dog, loved it, thought he could do with a playmate but just a musing really and then a rescue puppy came up and we couldn’t resist. We were on the same page which made things easier. I’m different to the other posters in that I feel there’s no real difference going from one to two but that’s just my personal experience. They really love each other, it’s lovely 😊

DH thinks one dogs enough.
Jody21 · 19/08/2019 18:24

Getting a second dog was a disaster for us. I got a beautiful 12 week old puppy 2 yrs ago thinking he would be company for our other dog, an 8 yr old at that time. She hated him from day one and bullied him terribly. I had warned the kids not to pay too much attention to the puppy in front of her because I didn't want her to be jealous. It made no difference, she would snap at him constantly. She wouldn't let him into his bed. She wouldn't let him eat, stole his food unless I stood over it but even then he wouldn't eat because he was so afraid of her, she'd growl any time he tried to eat. I put up with this for a few weeks thinking she would eventually accept him but it was making the puppy really anxious and nervous. After about a month I decided I was going to have to separate them because it was horrible to see the affect she had on him. For the past 2 yrs they sleep /eat / live in different rooms, they are let outside at different times etc. Our pup is now almost 3 and is very clingy to me and nervous around other dogs. Please don't underestimate how jealous one dog can be like I have, sometimes they just don't get on!

TrainspottingWelsh · 19/08/2019 18:26

This is why I’d never have a live in dp, you’re obligated to let them have an opinion on important things.

Suppose it depends on who will be doing the work and what his reasons for objecting are.

Itsallgonewoowoo · 19/08/2019 18:41

I have 3 dogs, all adore me, DH got a cat, it adores me. They like him but I'm the bee's knees.

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