To be dreading turning 40

[dreading40]

I turn 40 early in 2020 and I suppose I’m thinking about it because I feel once summer is over it’s all geared towards Christmas and the end of the year.

Dreading it. Single and feel more than a little sad and pathetic. Work isn’t going well at the moment and I’ve grown apart from friends.

AIBU or is it an OK decade really?

I am 40 this month, it's just another birthday. We seem to attach all these feelings and emotions to it, when in reality, nothing changes. My friends in their 40s seem to be happier than they've ever been.

YABVU! 40s is a brilliant decade. Not everyone is given the privilege of a 5th decade. Enjoy it. Look after your body- exercise well but don't overdo it, eat well, surround yourself with people who nourish your soul. Ditch negativity in all things. Embrace life, you'll look back on this age and be grateful you did.

Seriously - I have several friends who would love to have seen their 40th birthdays. I have no truck with this kind of negative anticipation. It’s just a day. If your life isn’t what you want it to be, start making changes today. Maybe your 40th will be different then!

40 is just a number ,but it sounds more like your fed up with how your life is at
that moment and because turning 40 is a "milestone"you are focusing on that?

My dh ruined what had been a great day...
He was an ex before my 41st.
42 was celebrated with a great new man!!
Don't give up op - definitely a great chance of a great life after 40!
Oh and got married on my 44th!!

It is really more being lonely and anxious working but OK

It's a good decade. Maybe not quite as good as the 30s, physically, but you are still young, and still have energy - and you still look pretty good. Things don't start going downhill until the 50s - so enjoy your 40s, because it's the last really good decade, physically. (Pretty obviously, that's my personal opinion.)

If you are lonely and anxious @dreading40 that will be the same at any age.

Maybe start to look and see if there are any small changes you could start to make to improve the way you feel?

I've just turned 40 and was not looking forward to it. Aging terrifies me. But, I turned 40 and feel like I gave done more since turning 40 than I have ever before. I made sure I did something amazing on the day(not the day before even though it would have been cheaper) - indoor skydiving in my case - so that psychologically it felt like it was the start of something and not anticlimactic, if that makes any sense? I've been doing lots of things that I've never done before.

I also came across a quote recently and to me it resonated, "Tell me what it is that you plan to do with your one wild and wonderful life" Mary Oliver

Yes, we are older, time is ticking but it doesn't mean we have to slow down. Enjoy every minute, do something wonderful, exciting, something that let's you know you are alive (I've started running, I am overweight and quite unfit but every time I come back, I actually feel so alive, so happy!)

It's great when you get there. I admit to feeling pretty low on the run up. But once I woke on the day and realised that I was still me, the anxiety passed. 40s were cool. 50s are WAAY better thus far

I was single through most of my 40s too. Still am. It's great.

Not being insensitive @dreading40 but it’s better than the alternative

Think 40s generally are great (44) next week. Spent 30s either pregnant, breast feeding or just generally having a child attached to me. Which don't get me wrong was lovely but I feel being 40 healthier, fitter and have slightly more time for myself and I get more sleep. Sounds terribly selfish but feel there is now a good balance. I worry far less than I did, maybe a good part of getting older as spent my whole life not v confident and always worried about something. I have gone back to work after 9 years as SAHM, lost weight and am fitter and stronger than I have been since a teenager so 40s can certainly be good!

I'm due to turn 40 in a couple of months.
I had a similar phase to what you're going through. Then I decided to make it the cut-the-bullshit decade. Let's enjoy our hard-earned life experience and put it to good use! 🥂

Yes it's shite but in 10 years you will be 50 which is much better.

I am going to really celebrate my 40th (a few years off). My 20s have been spent in utter angst whilst scrimping and saving, whilst my 30s have been spent with kids having off various bits of me. I finally feel established and able to push forward with what I love doing.

I now look back at my younger self and wonder "why did I dread turning 30?

Well there's nothing you can do about it! It's just a number, and no-one else is getting any younger either. I always like the saying

Never regret getting older, it is a privilege denied to many

Remember so many people never make 40 so be grateful you will. Take charge of your life and seize the day, there’s a big world out there and so many can only dream to be in your position.

Mine was earlier this year, OP, and I understand completely. I don't care about ageing and I have no vanity about the way I look, it's more a case that you start to seriously evaluate your life when you're approaching a milestone birthday. I thought about all the things I could potentially have achieved in 40 years and had a minor panic about how few of them I had actually done - it really does highlight the areas in which you feel you're wanting.

I too am single, have ended up in a job that's OK but nothing special, and feel like I've lost a lot of friends over the years just from drifting apart and lack of effort on both sides. I'm not sure what to suggest, because I haven't worked it out for myself yet, but I have started making more of an effort with the friends I still have and arranging to see them more often - in the past, I might have gotten pissed off that I was the one making all the moves but all that attitude does is leave you with fewer friends, so now I just get on with it. As for being single, I am slowly coming to accept that I'm probably going to stay that way and try to focus on the positive side of that (more freedom, more independence, can spend my time and money how I wish etc). And workwise, I've realised that my habit of staying in jobs for 18 months and then getting bored and moving on has meant that I've never progressed beyond entry-level, so I'm concentrating now on trying for promotions instead of moving to a different company. Would working on improving what you already have rather than focusing on what you don't have be an option for you?

I'm loving my 40's (nearly at the end of them now...). Also single, took myself away for a week to include my birthday, and pulled on my actual 40th - without even trying! Had a great couple of years together, didn't last and very happily single again now. But do not write yourself off for being 40..... its the decade where I stopped giving a toss and have thoroughly enjoyed it.

I turned 40 earlier this year. I was totally dreading it and actually found it all quite embarrassing! But as others have said some people don’t get the opportunity to be 40. Sadly during my late 30’s several friends of mine and hubby’s died suddenly (all late 30’s early 40’s) which really made me think. So although I wasn’t 100% comfortable with it, I decided to celebrate and I’m now glad I did. Who knows if I’ll ever have another special birthday! I always think life
Is like the film sliding doors, the smallest decision can change your life in so many ways. Reach out to a friend and or family and plan a celebration. You never know who might walk into your life whilst doing this. As for the job, start looking elsewhere and maybe look into a course which could help you move into something you’ll enjoy more, and as a bonus you could meet new friends and maybe even someone special through this! 🍀

You choose if you want to celebrate it or you don't ....... SIMPLE AS THAT.

YABU. Not everyone is lucky enough to turn 40.

I love being in my 40s. I genuinely don’t give a shit!