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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Would you use your annual leave/make the time up?

48 replies

OlivesAreGod · 19/08/2019 09:10

Currently pregnant after lots of miscarriages and as such I'm having to be seen by the hospital regularly (sometimes twice a week). This obviously means I'm having to be in and out of work for the appointments which I don't get to choose.

I am using some annual leave for this but haven't used all (only have a couple of days left).

I know pregnancy is a 'protected characteristic' but would you use all your annual leave and lunch hours etc... To make this up in my situation?

I do try where I can but sometimes I feel very ill and take the hour at lunch to sit in the bog trying too cool down!

OP posts:

Crunchymum · 19/08/2019 10:08

Why are you having so many appointments? Twice a week seems incredibly excessive.

(I've had 6 miscarriages, been under RMC, had successful pregnancies and have never had that many additional appointments)

Crunchymum · 19/08/2019 10:12

There was a similar thread recently but the OP wasn't pregnant? Just having (excessive?) appointments regarding her miscarriages.

TheYeaSayer · 19/08/2019 10:15

RedPanda2

What a ridiculous comment. In what way are antenatal appointments not related to a pregnancy?
And so what if you’re not going to have such appointments yourself? Should bereaved people not be allowed compassionate leave because others haven’t lost someone close whilst in employment?

TheYeaSayer · 19/08/2019 10:16

Sorry Red, I didn’t see your update

DarlingNikita · 19/08/2019 10:17

Talk to HR to clarify the policy, just to set your mind at rest.

As for your colleagues' stress and unhappiness, it's not your responsibility. I've worked in lots of places with high workload, stress etc and people going off on maternity leave/related appointments – and, for that matter, appointments and sick leave not related to pregnancy – and it would never occur to me to blame those colleagues taking the leave.

Original poster

OlivesAreGod · 19/08/2019 10:18

They weren't happy with the growth at the initial scans (we were sure we were going to lose the baby) but we haven't so far 🤞 so they are doing weekly scans at the moment. Sometimes the consultant wants to see me as well to discuss them/how I'm doing etc... Not always but usually at least once a week for the scans.

OP posts:

Original poster

OlivesAreGod · 19/08/2019 10:22

I don't know whether the additional appointments are because of my previous miscarriages. I think it's more to do with this specific pregnancy and how it was (is still really) very touch and go at the initial scans so now it's just being monitored very closely.

OP posts:

Sleepsoon7 · 19/08/2019 10:22

Whether you are taking time off for AL or for pregnancy related medical appointments makes no difference imo as to you not being around to do work. It will have to be covered by other staff whatever the situation (or your employers need to arrange proper cover from elsewhere if feasible). So take the time you are entitled to take for pregnancy related appointments and save your AL to take as AL. You also need to take a break during the day. If you make yourself ill through exhaustion you will have to take sick leave. There is no win win situation. You have employment rights for a reason so use them. (Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy 💐)

TinyTear · 19/08/2019 10:24

In my second pregnancy - after 5 miscarriages, gestational diabetes, hypothyroid, succenturiate placenta and a few other bits, I also had LOTS of appointments

I used to take my laptop with me as they had installed reliable free wifi in the waiting room for the anteneatal clinics (didn't have that in first pregnancy) so i tried to do a bit of work, reply to a few emails and still covered some work...

don't feel guilty!

Nautiloid · 19/08/2019 10:28

You are entitled to paid time off for this.

FinallyHere · 19/08/2019 10:29

Have a read of your company's absence policy. It's pretty standard to not be allowed to take leave when you are off for medical etc reasons.

Leave is for you to have a break and recharge your batteries. Appointments do not fulfil that requirements so need to be separate.

Anyone who inwardly complains (as I did when I first understood this) will come to understand when they need to use it.

Hope your pregnancy goes well.

Disfordarkchocolate · 19/08/2019 10:57

I would never have been allowed to use leave for these appointments, your work shouldn't let you either.

If I was your colleagues I'd appreciate it if you tried to limit the impact, for example, have appointments as late/early as possible. However, I would not expect this as I know its rarely possible and I'd never resent you having time off to support a pregnancy. Good luck.

Hecateh · 19/08/2019 10:57

When I was pregnant with my first, way back in 1977, I was paediatric nursing and I was on the orthopaedic ward, which had a number of heavy children that needed turning. I didn't complain but my colleagues wouldn't let me help which made it hard for them so they talked to the nursing officer on my behalf (and theirs I guess).

She was a cow.She said that pregnancy is normal (she was in her 50s and childless) andI should just get on with it. Which I was prepared to but my colleagues wouldn't let me.

So she moved me onto the baby ward ward and I spent my last month of work prior to giving birth to my first baby nursing (often premature) babies with severe abnormalities. Thank you Sister xxxx.

No scans back then either to reassure me, although my baby was clearly a good size and very active.

EmmaLouisLou · 19/08/2019 11:01

Do not use your annual leave, antenatal/hospital appointments are not holiday. My work tried to force me to do this, it was the thin edge of the wedge. Next thing I know they were trying to force me into a much lower paid / lower weight role under the guise of health and safety. As long as you try to minimise disruption and book appointments for first thing/ last thing if possible to help out.

Original poster

OlivesAreGod · 19/08/2019 13:48

I will keep Friday as annual leave as I'd rather not go back into this office after my morning scan and it means me and H can leave on Friday for our weekend away instead of Saturday but won't book anymore!

OP posts:

Di11y · 19/08/2019 14:11

you could equally be off work completely with hyperemisis or something else.

you look after you. and save your annual leave you'll probably need it.

Teddybear45 · 19/08/2019 14:14

It depends on work policy. At mine you don’t need to make up time for antenatal appointments as long as they don’t take the whole day. So you do need to work even if it’s work from home for 10-15 mins. If you can’t do that then annual leave / pregnancy related sick day should be used.

PicaK · 19/08/2019 14:33

Right. Imagine you had a colleague in work who is pregnant after miscarriages. Or you're her boss. She's worked there for a few years and always been conscientious and pleasant. Would YOU want her to feel guilty for going to appointments or for taking her lunchtimes to protect that baby. I'm presuming the answer is not at all. So please stop worrying about letting your colleagues down. You're not a bitch and neither are they! If you're going back to work you'll have years to make it up to them. And even if not you can pay that karma forward in the future. Right now is not the time.

Basketofkittens · 19/08/2019 16:31

Nope, it’s the law that women are allowed time off for antenatal appointments. You are protected OP.

m.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=5343

BeanBag7 · 19/08/2019 17:02

Even if you take it as annual leave, you're still leaving colleagues a man down so if your guilt is over your colleagues it makes no difference to then whether its annual leave or not.

ScreamingValenta · 19/08/2019 17:07

You are entitled to paid time off - there's nothing more to be said. The law is on your side!

Original poster

OlivesAreGod · 19/08/2019 17:31

Even if you take it as annual leave, you're still leaving colleagues a man down

I know but if I don't take it as annual leave I then have more days to take off.

OP posts:

combatbarbie · 19/08/2019 19:24

I'd be going back to HR and chatting through all AL you've used so far and get them to give you some time back.

Is your AL done by hours, half days and full days? They can work out how much to give you back regardless.

Pretty sure your work colleagues wouldn't be feeling guilty if they were pregnant or ill.... Guarantee they wouldn't use AL either, they will use whatever they are entitled too!

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