To want to scream at his snoring 😴 in the living room

[MadAboutSnoring]

DH is a snorer. Always has been and probably always will be. He’s tried various things over the years, but nothing really works. It was worse in the past when he was overweight, but it’s improved a bit now he’s a normal weight.

I get that he’s not doing it to annoy me and that he really can’t help it. I chop and change between sleeping in our bed and in the spare room. I’m fine with this and it’s not an issue. When there’s no option for separate sleeping (eg on holiday), I tend to take some OTC sleeping pills with me just in case I’m in one of my can’t-get-to-sleep phases.

However, in the past year or so he has developed this habit of falling asleep on the couch and, you’ve guessed it, snoring. He’s 63 and still works full-time, so it could just be he’s becoming more tired in the evenings. It’s not the full-on aeroplane approaching noise I get when he’s fast asleep, but it’s still bloody annoying. It interrupts the tv or stops me from concentrating if I’m reading.

The typical pattern that’s developed is the first time he does it, I call his name and ask him to wake up. He’ll deny he was asleep. The second time, I’ll get a bit more annoyed and shout across (at this point, not an angry shout). This results in him saying “oh, sorry, was I sleeping? I didn’t think I was sleeping”. I say that he should go for a lie down if he’s tired, but he says he’ll be fine. This then repeats several times, me getting more irate each time and him more in denial. It usually ends with me saying that it’s completely selfish of him to lie there when he’s obviously tired and needs a lie down. I remind him that I work full-time too and I should be able to enjoy tv or whatever without him snoring. If he won’t go to bed, then I tell him I’ll need to go to another room. He never goes to bed (Mr Stubborn), so I inevitably go elsewhere to read/continue watching the tv programme on my phone.

This is a first world problem, I know, and I’m truly grateful that I don’t have more serious things on my plate, but I just think he’s being a selfish b***d.

WIBU if I just screamed at him? What about murder?

Perfectly reasonable. In fact I was going to suggest a pillow over the face? Need help moving the body, give me a call.

My partner is the same and it drives me potty.

Might be sleep apnoea if falling asleep so readily. You can get these crazy Darth Vader sleep masks for it

I don’t really know anything about sleep apnoea - I’ll have a look, thanks.

My husband does this. I have a big pile of cushions I throw at him until he goes to bed. He has sleep apnoea and has a CPAP in bed but still likes to fall asleep in his chair.

Seperate bedrooms here full time and from time to time I'll turn everything off and just leave him there. He really doesnt like it when I do that but imo it's bloody selfish behaviour. Go to bed if you're tired.

These days he'll make a proper effort to go to bed when I explained that he gets his living room to himself when he's up at 4am and enjoys the peace and I get it on an evening if he goes to bed.

Plus sleep apnoea can cause serious health issues so it's in his best interest to get assessed for it.

Mine clicks.. the baby snores.. if I’m not in bed with the baby I look like a lunatic .

DM leaves DF on the sofa when he falls asleep n goes to her bed.. he eventually wakes up and she’s already sound asleep cosy before he gets into bed. He’s got better at going up before he’s knackered which has helped a bit with the snoring.

LTB.. on the couch

it's probably sleep apnoea. Leaving it untreated is bad for his long term health, so it's always worth getting it checked out. Since my DH got checked, we realized he hasn't had a proper nights sleep his entire life. No joke -- the CPAP has been life changing.

Plus he no longer snores. :-)

A lot of people saying sleep apnoea so I’m definitely going to look into that a bit more.