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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not have a school birthday party for my September born?

38 replies

cheesebagel398 · 18/08/2019 16:50

My DD is starting reception this September and will have a birthday 10 days after school starts. It’s a phased start so it will be 5 full days before her birthday. AIBU to not have a party for all of her reception friends as it’s very early on in term? Should I have a party next year instead when she has a chance to get to know her classmates? Or is throwing a party a good opportunity for her to get to know some of the children?

OP posts:

JohnWolfenstein · 18/08/2019 18:01

DD stated reception last year and she was already 5 as her birthday is so early in September. We decided to forgo a party and have one this year instead. (We went to build a bear with her and went to her favourite restaurant (Harvester 😂) for dinner, so she didn't miss out).

This year she starts back on her actual birthday, and I wasn't organised enough to sort out a party and invitations before the holidays so we will give out invitations on the first day back and will invite all the girls on her class. I think this is a good compromise and she doesn't feel hard done by. It's a lot easier once you get to know some of the children and their parents.

musicinspring1 · 18/08/2019 18:05

I am worried about DD being invited to parties throughout the year and feeling like we haven’t reciprocated, but like a pp said - my ‘reciprocating’ will just be in September next year .... that’s fine , right ?!?!

Kungfupanda67 · 18/08/2019 18:13

Your ‘reciprocating’ is bringing a present! If you don’t have a party your daughter doesn’t get lots of presents from her friends, that’s how it evens out

I’m 30 next year, lots of my friends are 30 already and have parties. I will not be having a party. Should I have declined the invitations to my friends’ parties because I won’t be having one?

JohnWolfenstein · 18/08/2019 18:22

DD has had plenty of invitations this year, and people honestly don't expect reciprocation, at least the normal non-grabby ones don't! We can't invite everyone DD has been to get parties of as we can't afford to hire a huge venue and all that goes with that, so we have opted to just invite the girls. If people have a problem with that the so be it.

AntiHop · 18/08/2019 18:26

I have this exact dilemma and started a thread on it. Lots of posters saying we should so a whole class party as it's a great way to get to know other parents. I was thinking of doing it late Sept to give enough notice.

We decided not to, as we thought dd probably wouldn't enjoy a party with lots of children she doesn't know. We've had a couple of meetings at school and I've found some of the parents not interested in chatting at all, so I don't know how many would have come anyway.

Instead we're having a party with friends she already knows (such as from nursery and activities we do). We've had a couple of meetings at school already and I managed to get a few parents' numbers from her class, so we've invited them too even though she's only met the kids once or twice.

We've invited about 25 kids anyway, and if we'd invited the whole of reception class too, it could have been massive, so I feel happy with the decision.

BikeRunSki · 18/08/2019 18:34

DS was 5, 5 days after starting Reception. They started half the class in the mornings and half in the afternoons, so he hadn’t even met half his class. His birthday was a Sunday, so we took him and his best friend on a day out (Lego Discovery Centre) and out for lunch. We did a big party the following year. He is moving up to Middle School (Y6-8) this year, and is having a party for his First School mates, although I’m pretty sure his best friends will have changed within a few weeks!

Snog · 18/08/2019 19:23

We waited until Halloween and had a party then when dd could choose which friends to invite.

Jeffjefftyjeff · 18/08/2019 19:31

We moved to England shortly before my son started reception so didn’t even know other children’s names to begin with. We also didn’t know all class parties were a thing. So his September birthday party was a few family members/ friends of ours who happened to have children. He still got invited to others’ parties.

meowcatmeow · 18/08/2019 23:42

My DS is an early September birthday. He has his birthday parties in October; this gives everyone time to settle into a new term, learn who his friends are, get invites out with time to spare.
When he was in Reception, we did a whole class party mid-October. 28 kids, it was horrendous with so many of them so we now stick to a few friends!
This year he doesn't want a party so I'm happy with that!

Wearywithteens · 18/08/2019 23:51

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

Marriedwithchildren5 · 19/08/2019 00:13

I have a september child. This never occurred to me. I can't believe it's even an issue! I mixed. Nursery friends and a few new school friends. Honestly, you need to worry less. It gets worse!!!

Original poster

cheesebagel398 · 19/08/2019 20:45

thanks everyone, I think I’ll delay it for now and see how she gets on

OP posts:

stoplickingthetelly · 19/08/2019 20:53

I did a class party for ds (Mid Sept birthday). Did the week after his birthday. Got a class list from sch and they handed out invites really early for me. Think about 25/30 came and lots of parents commented that it was a really nice idea. I also got to meet lots of the parents early on. Since then ds has had smaller parties/outings with those he is most friends with.

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