Met L a while ago, we both had babies around the same time. Both our DHs travel, though hers more frequently and mine for longer periods of time (e.g her DH works mon - Friday away whereas my DH could be home for 3 weeks then away for 5, home for 7 weeks then away for two etc). I started to feel like she was using me as a sort of stand in partner, wanting to do absolutely everything together.. as in me look after her DS while she goes for a run, or has her hair done etc, and vice versa. I’ve never taken her up on this offer to look after my baby but have looked after hers multiple times.
I find her to be very intense. If I don’t reply to messages or I have a bad week (I have PPD and though it’s heaps better now, sometimes I just retreat into myself for a week or two just to restart) she bombards me with texts asking me “what my problem is” “if I have a problem with her just say” and threats to turn up at my house. I find this extremely overwhelming. I feel like my friends don’t really expect anything from me, as in they don’t require a ton of attention and sympathy, we can just hang out and talk and if I do t respond to messages for a few days we just pick up where we left off. With her there’s this constant pressure to be there at her beck and call as she’s all alone. It’s just too much for me to handle and I dread getting messages from her.
There have been a few occasions the last few months where she has shown an extremely manipulative side. Used lies to dramatise situations with her DH so she can have a go at him for working away. (Eg she lied and said baby injections was a big deal, an all day hospital thing and that he was a disgrace for not supporting her. She actually used me in this situation and said I had been at the hospital all day with my DH and that it was very scary. Lie). I know she’s not very nice to her DH, she sends him abusive texts saying she knows he wishes her and her DS were dead.. so awful.
Another problem is she always has to put me down at any suggestion. For example I got a coil inserted a few months ago and was really surprised how easy and pain free it was so I suggest if she wanted to change from the depo injection It was a great alternative and hormone free. She said she doesn’t agree with it because it’s basically getting an abortion every month, and she doesn’t agree with that 
ouch.
So please, aibu in saying I just can’t handle being her friend? I’m so introverted it’s just too much and I dread getting iMessage notifications 
how would you handle it? We also work together for an added complication.
Tia x