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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU with his mood

9 replies

LPANDLO · 18/08/2019 15:28

We're both not sleeping well because our little one wakes up at least 3 times a night. Dad was annoyed the baby woke up early and voiced his frustration so I took the baby downstairs. An hour and a half later he comes down. I made myself and baby some breakfast, fully expecting him to do his usual and go and smoke outside. After we finish breakfast he helps to clear table and makes a comment about the mess. I could tell he was still in a mood so just ignored him. Then he decided to tell me i've been selfish for not asking him if he wants breakfast and it's just polite to ask and all I care about is myself and our child 🙄. I remind him he never wakes up hungry and he gets annoyed telling me that on the odd occasion he does eat straightaway and 'I should have had the decency to ask' and i haven't even apologised blah blah blah. I go back to ignoring him. He makes the baby's milk and then the baby sleeps. At this point he's gone outside for a smoke and so I message him to let him know baby is asleep and I will go and lie down with baby. Fast forward a few hours and he is moaning that I'm in a strop with him despite me being down for an hour and a half! Apparently I shouldn't be any more tired than him, despite me predominantly being the one who does the night shift wake ups and still doing my share of early morning wake ups and still bleeding from a miscarriage I had less than a week ago. When I reminded him that I was equally, if not more exhausted than him, he in no uncertain terms told me he got that I was in pain but that the miscarriage doesn't affect my fatigue. Literally fuming so I've walked out the room.

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 18/08/2019 15:36

He's a knob
Ltb

weaningwoes · 18/08/2019 15:37

He sounds an utter fucking prick of a man. You had s miscarriage LAST WEEK? He should be handling you with kid fucking gloves and tending to your every need, not giving you shit about not making his Fu long breakfast (that he didn't actually want just a stick to beat you with).

Tell him to sort his attitude or fuck off.

dollydaydream114 · 18/08/2019 15:39

He’s a complete cunt.

rainbowstardrops · 18/08/2019 15:43

You had a miscarriage last week and he's treating you like this????!!!! Jeez, he needs a bloody good shake!

PurpleDaisies · 18/08/2019 15:44

He sounds utterly horrible.

LPANDLO · 18/08/2019 15:45

I'm sure in his head he thinks the miscarriage is affecting us both equally. He is upset about the loss, and I get that, but because I'm someone who gets up and does stuff like still cooking and cleaning and doing night wake ups, he obviously seems to think it's nice and easy going through a miscarriage. Never mind the emotional and physical effect on me. Even the next day after getting up umpteen times to go to the toilet and then getting up to deal with little one, I still got up in the morning. I'm so annoyed that he actually thinks it's okay to be like this with me. Instead of apologising for being an insensitive prick, he's still continuing the argument.

OP posts:
LPANDLO · 18/08/2019 15:47

I should have added that he clearly thinks because he goes around tidying and is hands on with the baby he thinks that I should be grateful apparently.

OP posts:
LPANDLO · 18/08/2019 15:50

@weaningwoes that's exactly what's making me annoyed. He was literally finding any excuse. I've also been out for dinner this week with my friends and he thinks that means I'm obviously okay and the miscarriage means nothing. He doesn't get that I have a different way of coping with it than he does. I can't stay in and cry non stop, so I'm just continuing with my normal routine.

OP posts:
bambalaya · 18/08/2019 17:49

If he can't empathise with you a week after a loss, he needs a kick up the arse

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