To be a bit sad?

[Bouledeneige]

I saw a very old and close friend this week and she told me that she got married in June to her long term partner. They only had one couple there as witnesses. I felt a bit sad that I hadn't been invited. I realise its not all about me at all, I just felt a bit strange and wondered at first whether she doesn't care for me as a friend so much afterall. But then again, she adores her brother and he wasn't invited either not were her husband's two sons (who she doesn't like). She said they didn't invite lots of people because she didn't want them to be there. I didn't say anything but I could never imagine getting married without my kids being there!

I have been very close friends with her for 30 years and we've supported each other through both our respective divorces. She has been with her now husband for around 10 years. I usually see her one to one on my own without him and we just talk and talk with a lot of laughs. As a couple they have had a lot of ups and downs over the last decade and I have supported her through them all - always on her side as a friend so maybe as a result she thinks I don't really, really like him. And maybe thats true - he's a bit gloomy/moody and pedantic. So I guess it would be true to say I've not always been his biggest fan.

It just feels so strange to think she got married and I wasn't there! AIBU?

Aaah! It's really nice you care for your friend so much and wanted to share her special day. I completely understand your sadness :( However, my feeling is that a wedding is such a personal thing and it really is up to the bride and groom how they want to spend that day and who they want to invite. Sounds like they wanted it to be just the two of them, and thats their choice and I hope they had a lovely day. Be happy for them OP. This day is about them, not you.

I think if they just had witnesses and no one else, then they didn't want anyone - it's not like they singled you out, if they didn't invite close family. It's not unreasonable to feel a bit sad they didn't want to share it with anyone, but it sounds like that is exactly what they chose, and in the end, it's their choice. Perhaps they just saw it as a functional transaction for inheritance reasons or something, or completely avoided tricky family dynamics and fall-outs. Whatever the reason, it seems it isn't personal about you.

Yes it was exactly what they wanted. In fact her first marriage was very similar just abroad. That is her style. It wasn't for inheritance or any other pragmatic reason - just how they wanted it. And she really didn't want his sons there! I was just a little surprised I guess.

Thanks for your responses.

You can feel sad but you weren’t excluded more than nearly everyone else they know - including his DC, as you say.

We only had close family at ours, it was tiny, and our friends were all happy for us. My DSC were key parts but they were little and we have a happy unit, not every family, blended or not is the same.

If she knows you don’t like her husband of course she picked other friends as witnesses.