Close friend made when our DC were little, they're now all at high school. As the DC got older, I started looking forward to getting my freedom back and I assumed she was too. I even looked forward to sharing some of that freedom with her. I was therefore rather shocked and disappointed when she told me she was TTC a "last chance" baby. That probably sounds selfish but I felt sad as I knew it would likely change our friendship as she'd be unable (or wouldn't want to) do many of the things I was looking forward to doing more of, such as nights out & weekends away. I also assumed she would make some new "mum friends". I regretted not having made more effort with some of the other mums I'd known when the DC were younger and realised I'd put all my eggs in one basket.
As it happened, she started to change before she even got pregnant. TTC was her obsession, she stopped drinking so no more setting the world to rights over a bottle of wine. She reverted to being very mumsy, boring even. I did my best to be supportive & encouraging (even though I thought she was crazy to go back to the baby stage!) but vowed to make the effort to meet some new people in preparation for when we inevitably, I assumed, drited apart.
By the time her baby was born late last year, my youngest was at high school and I had a new job with more hours. I also had a lot going on at home with family etc. I'd slowly started to make a few new friends through work and a hobby. I assumed our friendship would fade out naturally which I was fine about by then tbh. However, after disappearing briefly in the first few weeks after the birth, she has continued to message me frequently. I do respond out of politeness but tend not to instigate contact. She witters on about her baby and other things I'm not interested in and keeps wanting to meet up. I've told her several times I'm really busy so it may be a while but still she persists. It doesn't seem like she's really made any new friends like I'd expected.
I'd much rather spend the little spare time I have in a pub with a glass of wine and likeminded people than sat in a coffee shop with conversation punctuated with her baby needing attention, as that's what happened the few times I have been persuaded to meet up. As cute as her baby is, I recently unfollowed her on Facebook as all her posts were baby related or just boring and self absorbed. She also posts a lot of attention seeking woe is me type stuff about being stuck at home with a baby. This makes me cross as, having older children, she knew exactly what she was getting in to and made her choice!
It seems that greatly reducing contact but not actually losing her as a friend is not an option and I now feel stressed whenever her name flashes up on my phone. This is not what I intended as I thought the friendship would just naturally fade without anyone getting hurt but it's seemingly not that simple! I'm at a loss to know what to do as I don't see the friendship fading naturally anytime soon but really don't want to tell her I don't enjoy her company anymore either!
Any tips on how I can deal with this without seeming like a horrible person!